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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My neighbour's dog

42 replies

RebelGirl034 · 28/07/2019 18:57

Hi everyone

I'm not entirely sure if this is an AIBU post, but I'll give it a go.

My next door neighbour (I'm end terrace, she's mid, so our front doors are very close) is very aggressive. I wouldn't say it's necessarily dangerous as it's a small dog, a pug, but it barks like a creature possessed when it sees my children and me coming into our house, or out of our house, if the neighbour is going in or out at the same time. It has so far three times tried to charge into our house. Once, the neighbour and her girls were going somewhere, and her and I were having a chat, with me standing in my own doorway. One of her girls was holding the dog in her arms and it jumped out and ran straight for my door. I shut the door in its face and they put the dog on the leash. The most recent time was today, when her ex-husband was just coming in and my ex-husband was at the door, collecting my children. The dog ran out of the open door (it always tends to do this) and tried to get in, but it didn't get past my ex-husband's legs before they caught it.
AIBU to think that my neighbour should have her dog under control even though it's a small dog? I feel like just because it's not some massive pitbull (apologies to any pitbull owners out there! I'm just using it as an example) it doesn't mean she shouldn't train it and should allow it to behave like this. Surely, a dog trying to get into my house is not on?
My children really don't like it, they were scared today (they are 6 and 8, so even a small dog isn't so small compared to their own size) and we are starting to really feel uncomfortable when going in and out of our own house, in case we cross paths with next door. We have lived here so happily before they moved in and were looking forward to having another single-parent family next door, but this is really ruining how I feel about them.
In all other ways, my neighbour is nice and we have no problems. I know what you're probably going to say, that I should talk to her about it. But I have tried in the past to explain that we are uncomfortable with the fact that the dog is so aggressive if it's not on the leash, and her response was that she understand but he just loves people (I'm not so convinced and don't really want to test that on my or my kids).
I worry that if I try to talk to her again, I may not do so without losing my calm, and that it will make her defensive (she obviously loves the dog). I also really really don't want to have the confrontation but it seems insane I'm trying to time it when I open my door so that her dog doesn't run in. Please don't give me one of those responses that say "if the dog knows you're scared, it will be aggressive" because I don't think I should take responsibility for the fact that she's not a good dog owner and hasn't got her pet trained properly. It's very difficult not to be uncomfortable around a dog that shows high aggression.
Please advise me, people! What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
RebelGirl034 · 28/07/2019 18:58

I meant to say next door neighbour's dog, not the neighbour herself!

OP posts:
Orangeballon · 28/07/2019 19:06

I know how you feel, I have an aggressive sounding Jack Russel one door down, I asked her to keep it quiet but she gave me a mouthful of abuse, I had done a lot for her and tolerated her out of control children. She built a six foot fence and reported me too the police on false charges.

Original poster
RebelGirl034 · 28/07/2019 19:14

Orangeballon, that sounds awful! It's exactly that kind of deterioration in relationship that I'm trying to avoid. Thanks for writing.

OP posts:
TeeniefaeTroon · 28/07/2019 19:16

Can you keep your gate closed?

HappyHammy · 28/07/2019 19:17

Lookup keeping dogs under control on the gov.uk site

Original poster
RebelGirl034 · 28/07/2019 19:27

TeeniefaeTroon , there is no gate or fence - our front of house area is completely open and directly next to hers, our doors are probably no more than a foot apart.

OP posts:
Treaclesweet · 28/07/2019 19:36

Is it aggressive though? Or does it just try and get in your house? I don't think trying to get in your house is a sign of aggression necessarily. The barking is annoying but if you big it up then it's you that's scaring your kids honestly.

Veterinari · 28/07/2019 19:41

I think you should not describe it as aggressive regardless of whether it is or not it will put her back up.
You need to ask her firmly to keep the dog under control and stop it entering your property.
You could tell her that one of the DC is being investigated for allergies?
That might encourage her to sympathise with you and control the dog

RandomMess · 28/07/2019 19:45

I would ask your neighbour if her dog is all bark or can nip (use nip not bite 😉)

We have a small dog and she is all bark, she is stupid and will allow people in the house and let them fuss her and still bark as she is alerting us that someone is there and can't fathom that she no longer needs to alert us.

Hopefully the pug is the same and your DC can actually get to know the pug better so they are confident around it and not scared.

Your neighbour is being unreasonable not keeping her dog under control Angry

HappyHammy · 28/07/2019 20:47

www.gov.uk/control-dog-public

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 28/07/2019 21:37

It's v annoying and the owners should have better control of it, but I must say I don't think you're in much danger from the pug. They are the least snappy breed I know, in fact nothing would induce my pug to bite anyone, ever. They are usually total softies.

Cherrysoup · 28/07/2019 21:40

Regardless of whether you are in danger of being bitten, the owner must keep the dog under control. Can you ask her to put it in the kitchen and tell her it has frightened your kids and you're not happy about it running at your dc?

Original poster
RebelGirl034 · 28/07/2019 22:22

I'll probably have to speak to her. I agree with the person above who said that the dog trying to get into the house doesn't have to be in itself aggressive (but this dog, regardless, is very aggressive) but even so, I don't think other people's animals should be entering my house without me expressly inviting them?
Thanks to everyone who replied.

OP posts:
Moondust001 · 28/07/2019 22:36

I don't think you're in much danger from the pug. They are the least snappy breed I know, in fact nothing would induce my pug to bite anyone, ever. They are usually total softies

Hmm. Tell that to the one that attacked my Border Collie (yes really!) pulling over the pram to which its idiot owner had tied it and dumping the baby in the middle of a dog fight! Fortunately my very well trained dog did not attack back, but in my attempt to get the baby out of the way, the dog latched on to my hand and tore strips of skin off that had to have 27 stitches to repair.

All dogs are dogs. Their behaviour is dictated by their owner - if they treat them like they are too small or stupid to train, then they are being irresponsible. I read somewhere that Chihuahuas are responsible for more dog bites in the US than pit bulls, reportedly because owners don't think they are a serious enough dog to need training.

namechanged2000 · 29/07/2019 01:03

They need a baby gate to shut it in a room when going in and out the door.

CSIblonde · 29/07/2019 01:31

It doesn't sound aggressive tbh. It's just one of those dogs that likes a but of a wander & it's not jumping at people or snarling, teeth baring, tail low, ears back (overt aggression red flags). I don't think you should say anything except is he friendly and if she says yes just block his way or get his collar. It's a good chance for your kids to get used to dogs too. A pug is a friendly breed usually and really no threat unless it's got form for aggression due to ill treatment or poor socialisation.

Sobeyondthehills · 29/07/2019 01:55

A pug is a friendly breed usually

A Lab Springer mix is meant to be very friendly and love water, neither of which my Lab Springer are due a small dog attacking it on 2 different days.

OP if you don't want to cause any major fall out I would go with one of the children may have an allergy, that would be better than say train your dog so he doesn't run out all the time.

MonChatEstMagnifique · 29/07/2019 02:14

I think you will have to say something. I would say that your children are quite scared due to the barking and the charging into the house.

My neighbour had a visitor and her dog ran in my house last year. Our elderly cat was so frightened but the dog owner didn't even apologise. I would hate a dog trying to get in my house all the time even if it was friendly. If you wanted a dog you would get one.

VenusTiger · 29/07/2019 02:23

OP, tell your neighbour that your kids aren’t used to dogs and have told you they are terrified. Ask if your neighbour can put a child gate in the doorway of the room/hallway that leads to the front door.

There’s also a Royal Mail campaign about aggressive dogs and posties... so if your request for a door gate falls onto deaf ears, chat the postie up and ask them to suggest it too.

WashingMyHair247 · 29/07/2019 02:28

@Moondust001 OMG!!!!! Was the baby OK? What did the owner say? That's awful. I hope your hand healed well.

Tartypants · 29/07/2019 02:39

Could you put up a small fence to stop it coming in? It wouldn’t have to be very high if it’s a pug?

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 29/07/2019 03:13

if not a fence... a very large plant pot? or box , it would give you more time to shut the door. It is annoying that you've already tried to tell her and she's dismissed it... it sounds like you will have to keep trying and repeating until it sinks in.

Yumiyumi27 · 29/07/2019 04:50

Hi
The ‘new’ laws around ALL dogs are that in a public place they must be leashed. If the dog is leaving the property it would be classed as ‘posing a nuisance’ and/or ‘posing a danger to the public’ especially where children are concerned! You should maybe speak to your local community officer. You could chance speaking to the neighbour and stating the laws...they carry a £1000 fine and ofcourse worse should the dog bite or snap, not just for the dog but any lasting affect or damage left with your child! You should not have to live with such fear.
Bach.Honours.Law 5yrs to date.

billybagpuss · 29/07/2019 05:09

@yumiyumi. You may wish to revisit your degree. Dogs have to be under control, not necessarily leashed. There are bylaws on certain areas where they must be leashed, but mostly just under control. Just clicking on the gov link above confirms this.

However op this dog is clearly not under control.

Chamomileteaplease · 29/07/2019 07:47

I second the view that it is of secondary importance as to whether it is aggressive or not. The point is that you do not want the dog to go in your house! And you have every right to feel like that!

Speak to her again. Say you really don't like the dog running into your house so please could she keep it on a lead if she opens her front door. If she says that would be a pain say well it's a pain it coming into my house!! I hope she sees sense.

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