My neighbour's dog

[RebelGirl034]

Hi everyone

I'm not entirely sure if this is an AIBU post, but I'll give it a go.

My next door neighbour (I'm end terrace, she's mid, so our front doors are very close) is very aggressive. I wouldn't say it's necessarily dangerous as it's a small dog, a pug, but it barks like a creature possessed when it sees my children and me coming into our house, or out of our house, if the neighbour is going in or out at the same time. It has so far three times tried to charge into our house. Once, the neighbour and her girls were going somewhere, and her and I were having a chat, with me standing in my own doorway. One of her girls was holding the dog in her arms and it jumped out and ran straight for my door. I shut the door in its face and they put the dog on the leash. The most recent time was today, when her ex-husband was just coming in and my ex-husband was at the door, collecting my children. The dog ran out of the open door (it always tends to do this) and tried to get in, but it didn't get past my ex-husband's legs before they caught it.
AIBU to think that my neighbour should have her dog under control even though it's a small dog? I feel like just because it's not some massive pitbull (apologies to any pitbull owners out there! I'm just using it as an example) it doesn't mean she shouldn't train it and should allow it to behave like this. Surely, a dog trying to get into my house is not on?
My children really don't like it, they were scared today (they are 6 and 8, so even a small dog isn't so small compared to their own size) and we are starting to really feel uncomfortable when going in and out of our own house, in case we cross paths with next door. We have lived here so happily before they moved in and were looking forward to having another single-parent family next door, but this is really ruining how I feel about them.
In all other ways, my neighbour is nice and we have no problems. I know what you're probably going to say, that I should talk to her about it. But I have tried in the past to explain that we are uncomfortable with the fact that the dog is so aggressive if it's not on the leash, and her response was that she understand but he just loves people (I'm not so convinced and don't really want to test that on my or my kids).
I worry that if I try to talk to her again, I may not do so without losing my calm, and that it will make her defensive (she obviously loves the dog). I also really really don't want to have the confrontation but it seems insane I'm trying to time it when I open my door so that her dog doesn't run in. Please don't give me one of those responses that say "if the dog knows you're scared, it will be aggressive" because I don't think I should take responsibility for the fact that she's not a good dog owner and hasn't got her pet trained properly. It's very difficult not to be uncomfortable around a dog that shows high aggression.
Please advise me, people! What would you do?

Is the dog always going mad or just when at the front door?
I’m thinking you could either - install a smallish fence between the doors, or - work with your neighbour to get to know the dog. Go on walks together, feed it some treats etc to curb the dogs behaviour around you.

to my mind it wouldn't matter if a dog was the most well behaved on the planet i still wouldn't tolerate it trying to get into my home. it's not up to op to put up fences and the like, the onus is on the neighbour to keep her animal under control.

just tell her, your kids are frightened of dogs, can you arrange a fence?

YANBU OP you have every right to not want a dog going into your house. Would you let your children run in to her house? Thought not. I agree with asking her to put it on a lead if it’s going to run in the house. It’s a perfectly reasonable request. Some of these replies are frankly bonkers, why on earth should you go on walks with it?

can you go halves on a small fence?

Hi OP, I can only think of 3 suggestions-

1. speak to the neighbour about putting a baby gate in the hallway. If you don't want to risk upsetting the friendship, say it's because your scared it will get run over if it goes in the road.
2. try speaking to the postie, but with your doors so close together you might be overheard.
3. local dog warden. Just make sure they say the complaint has come from down the street that has witnessed it, and if she asks if it was you that complained feign ignorance.

Good luck OP

I think you should replace the world aggressive in your post with annoying. He just sounds like a pain in the arse. Maybe politely ask your neighbours to be more mindful of their dog.

Billybagpuss

A court would declare a dog under control as leashed in public. Courts and the likes of rspca are more than aware dogs can slip collars. The laws of leashing are yes in specified areas but the laws of danger/nuisance apply the country. How the gov sites specify laws and how they are interpreted in courts can be very different pending the circumstance. Thus why i suggested a chat to community officer. As you see im more than good with my degree and animal welfare.

moondust sorry that happened to you- I suppose there are exceptions to every rule. Pugs can certainly be feisty to other dogs, but all the ones I've met have been v peaceable with people. Dogs are dogs though at the end of the day, owners need to have them under control

Yet another dog owner making the rest of us look bad. I agree with PP I’m afraid OP I think you’re going to have to speak to her and ask her to keep it on the lead at all times. If her children can’t keep hold of it then they shouldn’t be holding it/ it’s lead.

Summer holidays are a nightmare here as it seems to be the thing to send kids out with the dog ( presumably to get both of them out of the house) and the kids have no control or awareness of dog behaviour

It's not unreasonable to expect someone to keep their dog under control at all. As a dog owner my absolute duty is to make sure that my dog is happy, healthy and well trained. Just as you teach your children manners, dogs have to be taught these same things and my dog (a staffy just in case anyone is interested lol) absolutely adores people but would never dream of neither barking at someone, running at them or touching them without being invited to, as for attempting to enter someone's territory without invitation, well that's just rude, even for an untrained dog.
In my opinion, owning a small dog (even if they are friendly) is not an excuse not to to teach them basic manners and commands, it's utter laziness!
However, I do think calling the dog aggressive is not helping matters, I may be wrong but it sounds like the dog has had plenty opportunities for aggression and hasn't acted with anything other than rudeness. You don't want to make your kids afraid of dogs by labeling this one aggressive, anytime your kids see a running barking dog they could panic which can cause them to be attacked. As someone suggested, maybe you could try speaking to the dog, stroking it etc, maybe that would put your mind at ease.
The biggest problem you have is your relationship with your neighbor, is there any way you can erect a little fence between your houses? The idea about saying your child has been diagnosed with allergies is a good one and you could use this as an excuse to erect said fence. It may help diffuse potential problems with your neighbor.
Failing that, your neighbour is actually breaking the law by not controlling her dog (in the UK - despite what the lawyer claims - there are no leash laws, however we have something better, and that is that all dogs must be under the control of the person in charge of them. This is better because leashes are not the answer to out of control dogs- training is.) So, if you can't reach a conclusion that you are happy with you can report her to animal control. Hopefully she'll be reasonable once you show her how upset you are or build a fence. Nobody should be fearful in their own property so it's not unreasonable to expect that. Good luck x

Yumiyumi27

I’m not sure where you’re getting those laws from? All dogs now have to have a collar and ID tag with owners name and address on it. They also have to be under control in public places. They do not need to be leashed. Also, the dog ran out of his own house into the op’s house so was never on public property. You can’t stick a posing a danger to the public charge for that!

What law degree exactly do you have?

Legionofdoom

Obviously a better degree than yourself.
I responded to mumsnet in order to help. As CLEARLY put in my initial response to spk to officer as NONE of the readers/responders know the exact circumstance and house set up. But as probably should have been expected this isnt a help site to some, its a site to pick at those who do try to help. Its overwhelmingly obvious no dog should be allowed to run out to anywhere from its home if it has those tendencies the dog should be ‘under control’ when the front door is open....i am SURE any community officer will confirm this.
Signing out now as have made my original response and now just responding to those that are awaiting the wash to finish!

But as probably should have been expected this isnt a help site to some, its a site to pick at those who do try to help.

@Yumiymi27 Umm no, but posters will correct you when you claim to have expertise but actually spread misinformation under the guise of ‘helping’. The UK does not have leash laws, it is not a requirement for dogs to be leashed in public and the DDA is not interpreted differently in different areas - it is national legislation.

A dog barking or being excited isn’t aggressive, I think you are overreacting and you are passing your fear into your kids. Put a fence up and stop being ridiculous, unless the evil pug is roaming around mauling people you are being a drama queen as there’s not one mention of aggression you’re basing your opinion on barking and running over to you.

You can block the dog with your foot, are you confident around dogs.

It's not at all ideal, but i would just block and push at a pug.

Maybe worth a chat with the local dog warden?