Background: We have been friends for over 45 years, since nursery school. I considered her my lifelong best friend. We have always lived within half an hour of each other, have kids the same age, been through lots of life stages and difficulties together Inc. cancer, and see each other once a week at my house. Over the years she has become more nervous and anxious and the result is she talks incessantly without taking a breath. She interrupts constantly, finishes your sentence’s so she can start talking again, hijacks anything you start talking about, is not interest in anything you have to say, goes off on tangents etc. I’ve always taken a deep breath and tried understand as she can’t help it but its exhausting and bloody hard work. she’s always been this way to a degree but has got much worse as she’s got older. She has lost all of her other friends as a result, and neighbours avoid her at all costs as they’ll never get away. She has also become more narrow minded and bigoted too. She goes on rants about everything and everyone. She’s had 2 children but now absolutely hates kids. She always refers to them as little shits! She used to be a really sweet person but not now. She is in a miserable 30 marriage to a tight arsed, ignorant, bigoted, misogynistic man who treats her with total contempt, so I think this has something to do with it. I’ve always been supportive and sympathetic about this even though she chooses to stay. At the end of the day that’s her choice.
My DH and I were both made redundant last year so decided to bring forward our retirement and move down to the west country. We have bought our dream home. I did tell her at the time and she was really unhappy about it but didn’t actually say too much at the time. I think she dismissed it thinking it wouldn’t happen. It has taken a year due to the first house falling through but we finally exchanged contracts on our new one and complete next week. I didn’t bring it up with her again during that year as I could tell she hadn’t taken it well; However, I knew I had to tell her now as it was about to really happen. She became hysterical on the phone, saying, ‘how could you do this to me. if you expect me to say I’m happy for you, you can forget it. I’m Not!’ Then went on to name all the reason why they would not come to visit i.e. 5-hour drive, petrol costs, DH doesn’t like driving etc. I was left shell shocked. Up to this point I was sympathetic but after that comment my feelings changed and she became a stranger to me. She still came to my house the following week but refused to acknowledge it and now I’m really struggling to maintain the friendship. How could a true friend say such a thing! AIBU to cut her off after 45 years or should I be more sympathetic as she is about to lose her lifelong (and possibly only remaining) friend. The house is very rural and there is very poor phone signal so its going to be difficult to keep in touch anyway. I’m not sure if I’ve actually been overlooking her bad points and this has forced me to face that she may not actually be a very nice person after all. She’s always adored me so maybe that’s coloured my view of the real her. I’m really struggling to forgive her but wondering if I’m just not being a very understanding friend! I’m not sure how I will end it if that’s what I decide. I don’t want to ghost her as that’s unkind but she will not take it well if I try tell her no matter how sensitively I put it! I guess its more of a WWYD?