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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my DH is an absolute Trooper!!!

74 replies

gonewiththepotter · 28/07/2019 09:54

I see so many threads on here about DH’s/DP’s behaving badly and I’ve written one or two myself. But now my DH deserves a positive post. (If it’s not your thing feel free to not read on).

He is being an absolute TROOPER!

I’m signed off with early pregnancy nausea. Have pretty much every symptom going and feel miserable.
Whilst struggling through work I was irritable, short tempered and quite mean (obviously struggling). He was NOTHING but kind, patient and compassionate.

At the Dr’s he held my hand whilst I sobbed in front of an alarmed looking Male GP!

Now I’m at home, cuddling a bucket 75% of the day and doing ABSOLOUTLEY nothing. Despite being in a gruelling part of his own work rota (hospital DR) he’s just doing EVERYTHING without being asked or reminded.
He comes home from night shifts and stops at the supermarket, loads the washer, folds the clean laundry and fills/empties the dishwasher!
He takes the bin out and changes the litter box, wipes down the sides and sorts the recylcing. Our cat got D&V in the heat- he dealt with it ALL and ran to the vets.

AND on top of that he just keeps asking how I’m feeling and if there’s anything else he can do.

He’s just got home and I warmed up a ready meal for him as a ‘thanks’ (cooking is beyond me atm). I feel utterly gross and lazy atm and he just keeps telling me how amazing my baby growing is and I should give myself credit. I know this should be how every DH behaves when you’re struggling with pregnancy symptoms but when I opened the dishwasher this morning to load it and found that DH had done it and ran it through the night...clean sparkly pots. I cried 😂😭

*We usually split housework about 70/30 as he works a lot more hours than I do and commutes further.

OP posts:
pepperpot99 · 28/07/2019 11:21

Lovely thread OP; however the irrepressible pedant in me is forced to point out that the correct spelling for your OP is 'trouper', and not 'trooper'.

Thank you. Grin.

LadyRannaldini · 28/07/2019 11:21

But let’s not over egg it. There’s only two adults here, so doing laundry, grocery shopping, cooking etc - is not what i would regard as particularly onerous!

Oh what an MN response, no man ever deserves any credit for anything. If a woman did it all and worked long hours I can guarantee it would be 'onerous', the man on the settee would have 'man-flu'.

Abouttimemum · 28/07/2019 11:25

Yay for amazing men 👏 there’s plenty of them out there. Lovely post to read thank you.

WeLoveToBoogieOnASaturdayNight · 28/07/2019 11:30

@pepperpot99
I'm pretty sure the OP means trooper...
as in army troop; not a dance troupe.

angell84 · 28/07/2019 11:34

I think that pregnant women are amazing. I don't think they have been given the reapect they deserve, I think it is starting to change a little bit.
I am a woman and I do not want children. It is not a choice for everyone.
But how amazing you are!
Imagine growing and carrying a life inside you!
And pushing it out if you.
I am in respect and awe of the women who do this

Lifecraft · 28/07/2019 11:43

Mumsnet is going soft!!! Two pages in, and not a single "he's obviously having an affair, and feels guilty about it."

IvanaPee · 28/07/2019 11:45

God! People are fucking wankers sometimes!

Two pages and one “let’s not over egg it” and one grammar nazi. Who’s wrong, btw.

@gonewiththepotter your husband sounds wonderful! Mine is the same. Good luck growing your human FlowersSmile

TheVanguardSix · 28/07/2019 11:46

Amazing! And be REALLY lovely to your MIL and FIL! Wink They raised the boy to be a stellar, compassionate, empathetic human being.
It's really, really refreshing to read this. I'm married to an incredibly selfish man, very lazy and totally disengaged from family life. I love reading threads like this. The human race is still full of loving, compassionate souls. It's easy to forget this when a selfish aura stifles the home.
Thank you for sharing, OP. And I really, really hope your tough pregnancy turns into a much smoother one.

TheVanguardSix · 28/07/2019 11:47

Never knew it was 'trouper'. I can't believe it! And I write all the time!

Deathraystare · 28/07/2019 11:50

Sorry but you have spoilt it for yourself now. You will be obliged to rent him out to other mumsnetters whose own partners/husband are less than useless! Fair's fair, you must share!

WorraLiberty · 28/07/2019 11:53

Two pages and one “let’s not over egg it” and one grammar nazi. Who’s wrong, btw.

This ^^. Such boring predictability.

OP, your thread is nice to read and your DH sounds like a lovely bloke.

I honestly think reading MN, it's easy for people to think all/most men are useless but in reality, most MNetters only start threads about their DPs when there's a problem.

We need more threads like this to redress the balance.

Gustavo1 · 28/07/2019 11:53

Aw, thanks m so glad you have some great support OP.
My husband has also been a gem through some awful pregnancies and I often feel very alone when friends start with their tales of useless husbands.
We have 3 kids and a 4th on the way and I have never been so sick in my life!
DH has done every single thing. He gets the DC up, dressed, packs a lunch for everyone so I don’t have to do more than open a lunch box, does the groceries, laundry, housework, bath time. All on top of looking after me too.
Hooray for the decent men out there!

EdWinchester · 28/07/2019 11:53

I think trouper is correct. As in someone who gets on with things without complaining.

LadyRannaldini · 28/07/2019 11:55

however the irrepressible pedant in me is forced to point out that the correct spelling for your OP is 'trouper', and not 'trooper'.

Depending on the context of the sentence 'trooper' is as valid as 'trouper'.

pepperpot99 · 28/07/2019 11:56

Trust me, it's 'trouper'. I know this stuff Wink useless though it may be

WorraLiberty · 28/07/2019 11:56

I think the grammar pedants are best ignored, whether they're right or wrong to be honest.

That's not what this thread is about.

Plus it only gives them attention which encourages them.

Alsohuman · 28/07/2019 12:00

Such a brilliant thread. Hope you feel much better very soon.

IncrediblySadToo · 28/07/2019 12:10

🌷congratulations on your pregnancy and finding/choosing a good & competent man.

It’s lovely hearing about a good DH, obviously the way he is should be the norm, but we know for many it’s not.

Hopefully this stage will pass so you can enjoy at least some of your pregnancy

🌷☕️🍰for all of those who don’t have decent DH’s.

PeoniesarePink · 28/07/2019 12:10

You're very lucky and it's lovely that you recognise a good 'un!

Mine was as much help as a chocolate teapot when I was pregnant. How we had 4 I'll never know............. but he's improved slowly and steadily with age and intensive training Grin

I hope your pregnancy gets better for you Flowers

Mishtry · 28/07/2019 12:11

My DH also, he hovered around doing anything he could to ease the worst period of my life (first 4.5 months of my pregnancy). He quietly did what needed to be done, never had to ask.

He would come home loaded down anything he thought could help my nausea, bland snacks etc, spent hours looking for peppermint bodywash (live in a country with limited options on that front) scrubbed puke off stuff etc etc.

I’m stay at home and he didn’t expect me to lift a finger, got a cleaner in and generally did everything he could to make everything as easy as possible on me. I literally didn’t do anything for myself for those months. Now I’m feeling better he’s trying to get me to book myself in for regular prenatal spas cos in his words “you are taking one for the team”. I know he’s going to be an amazing dad, he’s already a fantastic husband and I couldn’t love him more. He never puts himself first in anything. He’s a proper grown up. There are good men out there who know how to adult properly.

It’s the compassion that matters the most, he saw me suffering and did his best to hold me up through it all. It must have been trying to have to scurry around me like I was an invalid but he did it with patience and kindness I never ever felt he was irritated even if he barely sat down of an evening. He’s a bloody good man.

I love these threads, it warms my heart 😊

ItsClemFandangoCanYouHearMe · 28/07/2019 12:13

Lovely to read a thread like this for a change. Well done to your DH!

I hope you feel better soon Thanks

ShowOfHands · 28/07/2019 12:20

Is he any good at spelling and grammar op?

Because if not, he's a total cunt.

(hope you feel better soon and your dh sounds smashing)

Pollaidh · 28/07/2019 12:23

Your DH sounds like a keeper.

My DH was/is like that too, and is a fantastic dad now.

GabsAlot · 28/07/2019 12:25

He sounds lovely and what a respectful doctor too-good luck and hope the nausea passes soon

LegionOfDoom · 28/07/2019 12:50

Love this. So nice to hear about loving, decent men on here for a change!

Obviously not the same, but I went out for a very rare night out with old uni friends last night. Had quite a few drinks, went to bed late and woke up with the worst hangover. Came downstairs about 10am, dh had cleaned everything up, done a load of washing and hung it out, cleaned the toilet, make me a fry up and dropped dc off at my mum and dads so I can have a couple of hours peace to nurse my head. He’s a keeper

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