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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Wibu to just go home?

63 replies

Chopbob · 27/07/2019 20:19

DH, DC x2 and I are spending a few days away in a lovely little cottage in the U.K.

It was something that we couldn't really afford but quality time with dcs is important- so we tightened our belts and made it happen.

The village is lovely
The cottage is lovely
The drive here...lovely.
Getting on great with Dh

...and the kids are being an absolute disgrace.
In the car journey they screamed, fought, ripped up their magazines that we had bought for them so they could throw it around the car.
They both threw such a huge tantrum at a tourist village that we had to leave- tantrums about wanting toys/sweets. They had already been bought both.
Now they have rubbed food into the sofa at the cottage, and spilled a full glass of milk on the other sofa. It has stained.

I'm at the end of my tether. It's been awful. Plus it's never stopped pissing down. All. Fucking. Day.

Wwbu to just go home tomorrow?

OP posts:

user1486131602 · 27/07/2019 22:20

Get some white vinegar and bicarbonate mix and rub into milk stain allow to dry Hoover the bicarb up, stain gone. Vinegar will neutralise the smell.
I thin’ your kids were over excited...perhaps picking up on your tension?!
Take them out tomo, rain or not you’re british! Wear them out!
If they are good do the activity as a reward the next day....and pour a second gin.......and relax!

melissasummerfield · 27/07/2019 22:25

Hi OP, I have 2 sons the same age as your dc and its a miracle if we get through a holiday ( or even a day trip ) without me thinking why do i bother!

They are normally very well behaved children but i think it something to do with the change of environment, routine, diet etc that makes them play up.

I absolutely know how you feel, we too save up from modest salaries to give them everything we possibly can, so when you have a bad experience it is soul destroying

I would just try to start fresh tommorow, go and do something they will enjoy and that will tire them out

don’t give up on your holiday!

Tavannach · 27/07/2019 22:29

No story.

Hmm, no matter how bad the behaviour we don't drop the story, It's a chance for everyone to reset before lights out. They are both very young, have had sugar, were probably over-excited anyway.

Now is not the time to go all righteous. So, your kids aren't perfect. They are a work in progress. So are mine. Start again tomorrow afresh.

Forget the tourist trail / cultural activities and go play some games. Bit of cricket. Some mini golf. Swimming? Indoor games if it's raining. Have fun together just like you planned.

I'd take this route.

HappyNOTdriving · 27/07/2019 22:30

Well my mother in law was on holiday here last week with my dh' two siblings and she had at least two tantrums that included throwing money at one of her sons and storming out and slamming the door of not one but two separate houses (mine and the holiday let they were staying at) I have known her for over 15 years and have never seen be anything but an absolutely lovely and sweet person! It was like a holiday possession!

Iv kindly put it down to the heat and the stress of traveling and being away from home etc She has since apologised and we have all forgotten it.

My point is sometimes even the most lovely people lose control, she's in her mid 60's and normally a fully functional adult so young children are probably even less able sometimes to. so I think just take a deep breath and think to yourself on their 18th birthday this will be a funny family story named the holiday, the tantrums and the milk stained sofa.

SoftSheen · 27/07/2019 22:38

The children are pretty young, and they are probably over-excited and possibly over-tired from school.

You have punished the bad behaviour. Tomorrow is another day. Try and start the day on a positive note and hopefully you will all start to have some fun. (And make sure they eat/drink at the table!)

Yabbers · 27/07/2019 22:41

Hmm, no matter how bad the behaviour we don't drop the story, It's a chance for everyone to reset before lights out

This gives me pause for thought. DD (10) still gets a story. Occasionally it is taken away because she has done something to warrant that, or because she has taken too damned long to get ready for bed. She asks every night “am I having a story tonight” which winds me up because 99.9% of the time the answer is yes. But I know the fact she asks is because she struggles to settle without it. Having read your comment, I’m going to reconsider taking it away. Thanks for that perspective.

billy1966 · 27/07/2019 23:00

OP,
You sound like a great parent doing her best.

I definitely remember huddling with my darling husband and being just glad the absolute horror of the day was over😂.

Tomorrow is another day.
Put the horror of today behind you and say " darn it, we are all well and healthy and hard days happen."

Don't dwell on it because raising children there can be a thousand cuts/bad days like this.

Bicarbonate of soda mixed with water will sort the sofa out.

Holidays can be challenging with small children.

Honestly, don't dwell, have a G&T, applaud your husband and yourself for surviving another day in the trenches!

👍

Dinomom52 · 27/07/2019 23:16

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time away op. We’ve had a few occasions where we’ve really looked forward to something that hasn’t gone as planned. It sucks.

Having said that my kids are 4 & 6 & I wouldn’t punish them for a spilled drink

Durgasarrow · 27/07/2019 23:55

It sounds as if you did the best you could under the circumstances. Children can be little monsters. Tomorrow could be better. Give it a chance.

Original poster

Chopbob · 28/07/2019 10:02

Thanks everyone!

We had a (very) early start this morning but everyone seems to be a lot more chilled and yesterday seems to be forgotten.
We are going to get some outdoor time today visiting somewhere the DC really want to go and have been looking forward to.

I do think I was out of order for the milk incident. It was the straw that broke the camels back after a very long day. I just lost my temper.
They do normally have a cup of milk sat on the sofa at home with a cuddle as part of their bedtime routine at home so I just wanted to keep to the same routine. But the spilling of milk was totally my fault.
Milk at the table tonight!

Thanks everyone for talking me down!!!!

OP posts:

MRex · 28/07/2019 10:19

Hope you all have a lovely day today, and build some of those happy memories.

slithytove · 28/07/2019 12:27

Lovely response OP. We’ve all been there, and yes usually a day of coping with bad behaviour results in a little of our own. Have a lovely time x

Moominfan · 28/07/2019 15:27

Hope you enjoy rest of trip op x

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