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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Christening Church Donation

98 replies

Gracie300 · 27/07/2019 08:55

My husband and I are disagreeing about the donation amount to give to the church for our daughters christening tomorrow. Anyone care to share the amount they gave?

OP posts:
Terminal5 · 27/07/2019 10:52

We donated nothing

because they were not baptised as RC or C of E ?

DownToTheSeaAgain · 27/07/2019 10:53

We donated £150 each time. We are regulars.

EdithWeston · 27/07/2019 11:02

The actual fee is £14 per certificate of baptism (CofE)

Donations above that are lovely but not compulsory, so put in whatever you want. I know that's not helpful! If you were making a one-off donation to a charity appeal, how much wouid you put in? That might be a useful starting point in deciding.

As it's a private service, there won't be an offertory plate.

implantsandaDyson · 27/07/2019 11:14

I put £25/30 in an envelope for the priest (Catholic). Mine were done after mass, there were between 3 and 5 families there. I think for my last child we were the only ones who did it.

Scotsrule · 27/07/2019 11:21

I was told a donation around the cost of a football ticket would be fine for our priest so we went with £50. £200 is insane.... regular attender or not.

Terminal5 · 27/07/2019 11:24

As it's a private service, there won't be an offertory plate.

We always put one out.

Greyhound22 · 27/07/2019 11:24

The suggestion for us was £60 - so I think that's what we paid - is it part of the morning service or a special service and is there only your DC being christened or others?

Camomila · 27/07/2019 11:25

I think we gave £50 for the baptism and £200 for our wedding. Regular church goers.

Only give what you can afford but the way we saw it a nice venue for a naming ceremony or secular wedding would have probably been more expensive.

Greyhound22 · 27/07/2019 11:26

Sorry just read your update - if it's a special service and just for you I would give £100 yes.

Greyhound22 · 27/07/2019 11:27

Camo £200 for your entire wedding? 😦 or was that just the donation bit? Ours came to about £1500 for the church service.

Camomila · 27/07/2019 11:49

£200 was for the donation...church did all the flowers for us as there was more than just one wedding that day (so we all had white ones and shared).

We paid extra for the musicians and that went to them, and we printed the order of services ourselves.

I don't remember paying for anything else but we did live in the parish and go every Sunday...we could have done though, I hated wedding planning and delegated lots to DH and DM.

EdithWeston · 27/07/2019 11:52

We always put one out

Putting out a plate for a (voluntary) retiring collection is completely different from the offertory plate which is part of the service (which you really shouid put something into, even if only shrapnel).

(I know you probably know that, but posting the difference for infrequent church-goers who might not know all the points at which collections might pop up, and (despite all being voluntary) which ones are rather more expected)

sparkles07 · 27/07/2019 12:21

@EdithWeston As it's a private service, there won't be an offertory plate.

Not true at all. Maybe in your church, but in my diocese we always put a plate out. Many churches split the amount in the plate with a charity of the families choosing, that way the family promote and encourage people to bring cash prepared for an offering.

Lots of churches also getting contactless readers in our diocese for occasional services like baptisms and weddings.

HeadintheiClouds · 27/07/2019 12:25

£100 minimum. “Chucking a tenner!” is not acceptable. I wonder how much you splurged on the party afterwards, newmom? Hmm

EdithWeston · 27/07/2019 12:28

Having a plate out (for retiring collection) is not a synonym for an offertory plate.

There is no offertory at any point in the liturgy for baptism in the C of E church. Which is why it does not happen in private baptisms.

Though of course for baptisms in a main service, it would go round at the usual point in the service.

Pinkprincess1978 · 27/07/2019 12:31

It wasn't even discussed when we had our children christened - I think we added £20 to the plate but our guests gave a lot too. This was 10+ years ago.

Marmite27 · 27/07/2019 13:06

£100 for the first. Priest was a family friend and did us a favour. His parish was very poor though well attended. The extra £50 paid for food for some of the kids through the summer break.

£50 for the second in our own ‘generous’ parish.

Marmite27 · 27/07/2019 13:07

The priest for our second recommends a similar amount to what you’d pay for a family meal out.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 27/07/2019 13:19

Inthesummertime the church is absolutely not the ones being cheeky in your situation.
You might want to stop telling people that story because you come across a bit of a twat.

DappledThings · 27/07/2019 13:25

The actual fee is £14 per certificate of baptism (CofE)

We were never even asked for that. Maybe our priest paid it himself. He was quite open about how nice it was to be baptising regular members of the congregation rather than people who turned up never to be seen again.

Sexnotgender · 27/07/2019 13:32

Whoever said they would be ‘Chucking in a tenner’ is really rude.

OP you and your husband are closer to the mark with £50/100. I’m sure your church will be grateful.

DappledThings · 27/07/2019 13:34

Whoever said they would be ‘Chucking in a tenner’ is really rude

That person has already clarified they thought the question was about attending as a guest not about being the parents of the child being baptised.

daisypond · 27/07/2019 13:38

We were never even asked for that. Maybe our priest paid it himself. The £14 is for CofE. I assume a priest means a Catholic Church, so no fees at all, technically.

Rainforevermore · 27/07/2019 13:39

However, for those wanting to baptise their baby for religious (rather than school related) reasons, I am sure no church would want to feel someone had not done it because they were put off by the cost.

PuzzledObserver · 27/07/2019 13:43

I’m a Methodist minister. We do not charge because baptism is a sign of God’s grace. I tell people that during the service (it’s always a main Sunday service) and that there is no obligation on anyone to put anything on the plate when it is passed round.

I’m actually quite shocked to hear of churches suggesting figures like those suggested above.