To expect a 3 YO to be in bed way before 10pm?

[Thismummyruns]

At risk of sounding like a right judgmental bitch here so fully expect to receive some flaming.

Our neighbours 2-3 year old (not entirely sure on exact age) is up most nights past 10pm, tonight I can hear her up now shouting & talking (11.15pm). I did consider maybe it's potty/toilet training but it's all the time!?

I know it has nothing to do with me, doesn't particularly bother me I just think it's very odd to have such a little one up so late and then have her out in the morning before 9am. Surely that's not enough sleep!?

AIBU? I'm just counting my lucky stars my 5 YO is in bed by 8pm!

I forgot to put my four year old to bed tonight til 10pm. Sometimes life is a little more fun when you let it play by play!

None of mine have ever needed much sleep though and dropped their naps by 1 year old. Sounds like a nightmare but I think they’re hilarious so I don’t mind. My 7 year old is still up now farting around in his room

Some people don’t have a firm routine and maybe think it’s fine for the child to go to bed when they do. Live and let live.

My children usually have a long nap after the school / nursery and then stay up late (until 10, later during the holidays). They are up at 7 am.
I must admit I was very surprised by British habit of forcing the children into bed at 7 pm. When are they supposed to spend time with their parents then?
I also wonder whether you are my neighbour as my youngest had literally stopped talking and went to bed 30 mins ago.

Some people have different schedules. My neighbours dh starts and finishes work later so they have a nap during the day and stay up later to spend time with their dad.
My 4yo is in bed since 8 for the summer, she sleeps 12 hours a night. Our day starts and finishes earlier. ( so i can watch Netflix)

I used to judge my neighbours for this until I found out their DD has autism and is very hard to settle. But in general YANBU.

It’s been hot lately, she could well have had a lot of sleep in the afternoon in the heat, hence she is not tired now.

But I also had a ds2 who at that age would go down between 9-10pm and up at 5am everyday, he needs little sleep like his dad. I was warned by mil when I was pregnant, but I didn’t pay attention until it happened. But then I could have been being punished for being so smug that ds1 went down at 7:30 and slept until 7:30am from a year old.

YABU - it's none of your business

Yabu - what business is it of yours?

Your attitude is very British and dull. Europeans are nowhere near as stuck on bedtimes and, generally speaking, the behaviour of their children shows them in a far more positive light.

@silvercuckoo

Haha, sorry if I am

I completely forgot about naps, mine dropped hers completely at 2YO so they are a long forgotten memory, that's probably what it is.
I do agree about seeing parents etc in the evenings especially after long days at work.

I know it isn't any of my business, I did clearly state that. I was purely talking of the amount of sleep for a young one as 11pm is late in my opinion. Not sure that classes as 'British and dull'

Absolutely none of your business. What's best for their family may not be best for yours and vice versa. Our 2 year old would never be in bed by what you would deem an appropriate time, it's just not the way she's made. In this weather it's hard for anyone to sleep, so forcing a child into bed to sweat and stare at the ceiling hardly seems fair. We've never forced a set bedtime or I wouldn't have seen her when I was working full time. We have a routine that takes place each night when we follow her tired cues. It means we have a great deal more flexibility in life and I get to enjoy my child's company in the evenings. Different strokes for different folks

My 16 month old DS stays up until about 10 most nights. He's got a bedtime routine which he's had since he was 4 months and I always aimed to get him in bed for 8ish, I never let him nap past 1.30 and he still won't go to bed until 10. And he is up between 6 and 7 every morning.

I have spent months staying in his room for hours every night trying to get him to sleep and he just won't. I've tried bringing his bedtime forward, letting him have a longer nap and cutting his nap down. So now I've given up and he goes to bed late.

So I would say YABU, doesn't matter what you try, some kids just won't go to bed early even if us parents think they need to lol!

My 2 Yr old goes to bed late but he sleeps in late. If he went to bed when most over children did he would never see his father. We like to have dinner together and play time on an evening. Sometimes we even go to the play park or feed the ducks before Bath and bed. He's usually asleep before 11pm and wakes after 8am in the morning. When he is older and goes to pre school or school welly have to change up his routine a bit but until then we enjoy the nights as a family.

@TheDarkPassenger Will your 7YO have a lay in tomorrow? Mine has always been an early riser generally even when she's had a late night like on holidays and then been a right grumpy bugger all day

Urgh, bloody auto correct. You get the idea.

All bets are off in this weather. Took until midnight last night for my little darling to finally drop off.

Your attitude is very British and dull. Europeans are nowhere near as stuck on bedtimes and, generally speaking, the behaviour of their children shows them in a far more positive light.

I agree with this. My 3 year old would be up until midnight if she has a nap in the day, which she does occasionally. Until she stopped napping, she was always in bed after 11pm. Why force someone to bed if they are not tired? It just causes totally unnecessary conflict, and is no fun for anyone.

My daughter is generally well behaved, especially for her age, as we are flexible parents and work around what she needs, rather than what society expects of us.

2 of mine were horrendous sleepers.

In fact, one of them is still awake now. He is 9.

At 3 mine slept 10pm-8am. Plenty of sleep.

Are they Spanish?

Mine had to be in been stupidly early because we are an early up family.Personally in Britian a Med lifestyle doesn’t work. It’s cold wet and miserable 9 months of the year. Takes a good amount of sleep to cope with the misery.

Nope he’ll still get up at the crack of bloody dawn! They just don’t seem to get tired much! My mum reckons I was the same. I only really started enjoying sleep during my first pregnancy!

Honestly op you're obviously annoyed! As it happens a 3 year old has no reason to be in bed at a certain time. I can put my no napping toddler to bed at 7 or 10. Still up at.the crack of dawn!

DS used to go to bed really early and treat it like a long nap and then get home when DH got home (very late) so he could play with his dad. Otherwise they didn't see each other during the week.

@Thismummyruns
I did not say "British and dull", just "British"
I was probably too emotional about this topic as someone close to me has been reported to social services by a neighbour (presumably) for not conforming to the local tradition about bedtimes. Nothing came out of this, of course, but she was made to feel like a child abuser, and was repeatedly asked whether she would like to attend a "parenting" course to learn the basics.
I genuinely think that for pre-school / primary school children a nap + a shorter night sleep works well. They are able to spend time with their parents without being exhausted and cranky, are refreshed enough to concentrate on their homework, everyone can have their evening meal together etc.
I dropped my day nap when I was 9, I think

My 4 yo DD goes to bed at 9 and sleeps until 7ish. She used to go earlier, around 8, but it took us an hour and a half to get her to sleep, so I convinced DH to try later times for couple of weeks. It took me ages to convince him to try. After 3 days she was in the new routine and started falling asleep in 10-15 minutes. I just loved being right on that one.

I don’t like this 7pm sleep time thing. It’s the only country I’ve seen doing it so early.
But what I hate the most is that everyone assumes that our DD is going to bed at 7 like their kids.

Yanbu.
Should be in bed by 7pm.
I'd hate to have a toddler squwaking and running round that late at night.