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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think work is BU about annual leave

77 replies

FirTree31 · 26/07/2019 20:37

Single parent to two primary school (just) boys. Our team has taken on extra work as someone has been asked to leave and they have not hired any one to replace him. One of my colleagues is also a parent (soon to be single) and I have in the last two days been declined two sets of annual leave, one for October and one for Easter holidays 2020 as she has already requested them. That means that when either one fo us books AL around school term we will be pitted against each other.
AIBU to think this is unfair and unsustainable. We are both master's students in our first entry level role, my issue is obviously not with my colleague, but with my line manager for pitting us lien this.

OP posts:
Kerberos · 26/07/2019 20:39

What else do you think your line manager could do?

ChicCroissant · 26/07/2019 20:41

First come, first served with the holidays is pretty standard IME, OP. You just need to look up the dates for next year and get yours in ASAP.

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 26/07/2019 20:42

I think it's unreasonable. As a manager I would ask you both to work something out between you which you both found sustainable such as a week each or alternative days. The problem isn't going to go away so a sustainable solution needs to be sought.

Chocolatepeanuts · 26/07/2019 20:43

We are a small team, 2 of us with small kids. We generally get together before requesting our leave and try and work around eachother. So generally half the october mid term, half the easter holidays etc. Your line manager I assume needs cover and your colleague has requested leave first? If leave is allocated on a first come first saved basis there's not much your manager can do is there? Sorry if I've missed something.

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 26/07/2019 20:43

As an aide though I would leave the current holidays in situ as your colleague requested them first.

LIZS · 26/07/2019 20:43

So you could book Christmas, Feb half term or May half term. Easter is usually at least 2 weeks, has all of it been booked out?

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 26/07/2019 20:44

*aside

secondwind · 26/07/2019 20:44

I think they are BU. They should staff correctly. Could you both talk to senior management/HR?

Waveysnail · 26/07/2019 20:44

No not sustainable and shouldn't be forst come first serve. Everyone should be asked for their requested leave at same time then school holidays divided up - doesnt matter if have kids or not

Disfordarkchocolate · 26/07/2019 20:45

She just got there before you @FirTree31, it's not being pitted against anyone it's how leave works. Neither of you can really win with this so why not work together and offer to look after each other's children for a few days each holiday.

daisypond · 26/07/2019 20:46

It’s normal. I frequently get turned down for leave. This whole year I’ve not been granted a week off in one go and I’m not trying to book off in school holidays.

xyzandabc · 26/07/2019 20:51

Surely you're up against anyone who wants leave in the same weeks as you, not just this one person? Lots of people want school holidays off, not just single parents. 2 parent families, grandparents, those with partners who are teachers, or work in a school, those who holiday with others that work in school ..............

Holiday bookings are usually 1st come 1st served, unless you have a system whereby you all have to submit what you want for the following year by x date.

She can't book all 13 weeks of school hols, so get in there and book other ones. Book at least 4 weeks for 2020 now if you can.

73Sunglasslover · 26/07/2019 20:53

Unreasonable if this was not a criteria you knew before and if they put no process in for the two of you thinking together about leave. But a very normal restriction. I have to co-ordinate with 2 colleagues who have school age children. This year I don't think I can get Xmas eve and due to the long distance between me and my family that probably means we can't celebrate Xmas with family.

Chloemol · 26/07/2019 20:55

How do you expect your team towork’ if everyone wants school holidays? What is the holiday policy? Ours is done on seniority, however you choose your first two weeks, then the next week etc etc so actually it is possible for people to get some school holidays, just not all of them. If there are just two of you with kids then surely the fairest is to split the holidays between you

Original poster
FirTree31 · 26/07/2019 20:58

Thanks for all your replies. Our team has four, but four other slighy seniors can help. We are HR.
It doesn't feel sustainable as we will always submit the same holidays. Childcare as everyone knows for holiday clubs is extortionate, two weeks for two boys during east will cost be around £450. We are both entry level, so not very well paid yet.
Also, there are different rules for different teams in the office. And the extra work load we have taken on to absorb another team member who has been asked to leave. He was in recruitment and we have taken on his responsibilities. It speaks to the wider picture.
I've had October term (six days off Mon-Tues) and all two weeks at Easter refused.

OP posts:
Original poster
FirTree31 · 26/07/2019 21:01

Absolutely agree, we should not be given any sort of preference just because we have children, I do not for a moment think that should give advantage. We are the only two with children, so this just means we will repeatedly ask for the same leave. We joined at the same time, and this was not policy before, it's since we have taken on extra work..

OP posts:
Stickytoffeepuddingyum · 26/07/2019 21:01

First come first serve, as you say team of 4 so you'll have to work It out between you. Why should the company be short staffed because you have children

Sandybval · 26/07/2019 21:03

A lot of places operate like this, if they had 2 off in a small team it would be hard for those left, if someone then calls in sick it might be unmanageable. YANBU to be annoyed by it but it is pretty standard. Before I had children I could never have any time off over any holidays, because it wasn't deemed fair Confused

BikeRunSki · 26/07/2019 21:03

Unless you actually get 13 weeks of annual leave, then at some point you will need to work during school holidays, regardless of what your colleague does.

WishIwas19again · 26/07/2019 21:05

Annual leave is always a tricky one, different arrangements everywhere, bit unfair you weren't told that's how it worked. Good managers/teams will try to coordinate leave fairly, or do a lottery if people want the same time off and it can't be worked around.

I have also experience of "Sally has had the first week of the summer holidays off for the last 10 years" or "Victoria always has xmas eve off because it's her birthday" and think that's really unfair.

It sucks but like another pp said, get in now for May and summer holidays!

Scrumptiousbears · 26/07/2019 21:05

I have something similar. I thought I'd be ok as I'm the only one with school age kids. Turns out the others are married to teachers Grin I'm fucked.

We do however come to some arrangement. However in our sister team I am away of one person who take a laptop home and as soon as the annual leave is opened for the next year she books them all. CF.

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 26/07/2019 21:06

Book Christmas and Feb half term off and then approach her and see if it would be easier to come to some sort of arrangement eg alternate days or split weeks to allow you both more flexibility over those holidays. If she says yes great, if she says no - get your holidays booked in as early as possible.

Original poster
FirTree31 · 26/07/2019 21:07

Sorry to drop feed a little, we are fairly large public sector org.
I have already spoken about it with my colleague, perhaps as some have suggested we will need to reach an agreement together now.
I think I'm feeling more annoyed than I would as as I have mentioned we have taken on a lot more, which now means AL has changed (as this was not an issue before), we are not being paid any differently, but will be more out of pocket to cover extra childcare costs on top of weekly costs.

OP posts:
ABoozedMoose · 26/07/2019 21:08

This is fairly standard - you don't get preferential treatment for having children or doing your master's - they're not pitting you against each other at all. Presumably the colleagues without children also have their requests rejected too

Gatehouse77 · 26/07/2019 21:09

It’s first come, first served at DH’s work regardless of dependents. So, some holidays he gets off some he doesn’t - particularly if that leaves no one to cover aspects of the job.
I’m not sure how in advance you can book holiday but, for example, we took a 3 week summer holiday in the past but he booked it a year in advance. Partly to ensure he got it off, partly to give them time to make sure everyone was aware that they wouldn’t necessarily be able to get those weeks off themselves.
This year we’ve taken advantage of not being tied to term time but still had a long holiday with no impact on those with school age kids.

Swings and roundabouts...