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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think he's an arse?

26 replies

NeedaCuppa1 · 26/07/2019 16:53

Ex is coming to pick the kids up today and conversation follows..

Me: Can you please buy some sugar for me when you come to pick the kids up today? I don’t have any cash on me, and you know the corner shop want you to spend at least £5 before you can pay with card.

Him: It’s not for my kids, then I’m not going to buy it.

Me: If you asked me to buy milk/sugar on the way to your house. I would do it, it has nothing to do with being in a relationship It’s a small favour people do for each other.

Him: When I take the kids get up off your arse and walk to Tesco. (Tesco is 10 min from me)

Really? HmmAIBU to think this is just a small favour people do for each other? It means nothing?
Some days we get on, and there’s days like this where I just think what the fuck just happened? I thought we were fine before this. We split up 2 years ago, got back together again and split up again January this year, because the same issues were still there. I think he’s just bitter and coming from a place of hurt, even though he’s in a new relationship. But he was fine with me a week ago Hmm so confusing.

OP posts:
Zebraaa · 26/07/2019 16:55

Erm why don’t you just walk to Tesco?

IVEgottheDECAF · 26/07/2019 16:57

Hmm Unless you knew he was going to the shop anyway i think this is cheeky

AllFourOfThem · 26/07/2019 16:58

I don’t think either of you are being unreasonable although his tone and your expectation both are. It’s fine to ask and it’s fine for him to say no. He doesn’t need to be rude about it and you shouldn’t expect him to do this favour for you.

I’m guessing this is why he is your ex though as I think most people would do this if asked for somebody else.

Missmossy · 26/07/2019 17:00

I would stop asking favours of someone who you are not 100 percent on friendly terms with or it will bite you on the arse like this.

AnneLovesGilbert · 26/07/2019 17:01

You think he’s bitter to not be doing favours for you?

Why couldn’t you go to the shops? Go to the shops!

AnneLovesGilbert · 26/07/2019 17:01

I’m guessing this is why he is your ex though as I think most people would do this if asked for somebody else.

Maybe he’s not mad about her demanding stuff.

Original poster
NeedaCuppa1 · 26/07/2019 20:15

I can see the corner shop from my house, and he will literally walk past the shop on the way to my house, so that's why I asked him.

But you're right. I'm probably expecting too much.

OP posts:
YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 26/07/2019 20:23

I wouldn’t ask my mates to do this on their way over, let alone my ex. But then we don’t even speak directly to each other unless we have to because I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire. I think he probably feels the same.

On the other hand, if he said he was going to the shop on the way over and asked did you need anything then that’s different. Same with a mate.

newmomof1 · 26/07/2019 20:26

I think YABVU!

AnneLovesGilbert · 26/07/2019 20:46

I can see the corner shop from my house

Hmm
blackteasplease · 26/07/2019 20:49

I wouldn't ask my exh to do this, nor would I expect him to ask me. Nor would I ask a mate who was popping round.

The crucial thing you need with an ex is boundaries. This flies in the face of that. You aren't a couple any more or anything like one. When he's gone, walk to the corner shop or tesco. And make sure you have cash in future+

littlepaddypaws · 26/07/2019 20:53

yabu, but then you know that.

bridgetreilly · 26/07/2019 20:55

YABU. This really isn't a normal favour to ask of people and especially not someone who is your ex.

Cheeserton · 26/07/2019 20:57

Shouldn't speak to you like that, but YABU to ask him.

Sparkletastic · 26/07/2019 20:59

I wouldn't do this. I'm a lazy arse but equally don't expect others to pick up the slack.

chamenanged · 26/07/2019 21:01

At any point did you say or even think that you were going to pay him back for the sugar? It would really annoy me if someone that wasn't a close friend/relative/current partner asked me to buy a grocery for them and said they had no cash without adding that they'd pay me back next time I saw them. I really don't think that's a normal favour to ask your ex - so much so that I think you were hoping for a reason to be annoyed with him.

NCforthis2019 · 26/07/2019 21:06

He’s not your partner, nor your husband. He’s an ex. You want an ex to do some shopping for you? Really? If you can see the shop - why can’t you do it? You’re being lazy.

golddustwomen · 26/07/2019 21:13

Jesus I wouldn't dream of asking my dd dad to do this! And we're on really good terms. CF behaviour I'm afraid.

PinkyPrincessy · 26/07/2019 21:14

There’s only one CF here and it isn’t him

notsohippychick · 26/07/2019 21:18

Yes you should walk to Tesco when the kids have gone!

73Sunglasslover · 26/07/2019 21:30

Maybe he is saving his cash to spend on the kids rather than fill your cupboards? I think YABVU

Sunburntnoseandears · 26/07/2019 21:35

Do not be beholding to him for anything ime.
Once asked ex to bring some baby wipes.
Told his solicitor I obviously couldn't manage alone!
Twat
He is an ex op. Being self sufficient is the key to your new life.

Original poster
NeedaCuppa1 · 26/07/2019 21:48

This has nothing to do with being lazy, I didn't have any cash on me and the corner shop only lets you pay with the card if you buy more than £5 worth of stuff, so I didn't want to go there and buy unnecessary stuff when I only needed sugar. He's done favours like this for me in the past, so I didn't think it was a problem. Obviously now I won't ask anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
NeedaCuppa1 · 26/07/2019 21:49

Anyway I did 'get up off my arse' walked to the shop, and bought sugar. Lying in my bed with a nice cuppa Wink

OP posts:
IVEgottheDECAF · 26/07/2019 22:52

Yabu not to have back up sugar in the cupboard op!

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