To run away?! I can’t do this anymore!!

[Helphelphelp12]

Nc’d For this

But I have this overwhelming feeling that I just want out!! I want to f**k off to somewhere for good!! I am not able for my own dc!! They are driving me insane, I cannot manage them at all!! They won’t listen to me, they don’t care! They are such hard work!! No SN! Just bloody brattish behaviour that is driving me nuts! I can’t even leave them play with sand in the garden without there being a commotion! They don’t follow the simplest instructions eg please don’t take the compost and put it in the brand new sand!!
I am currently sitting on the bed having put them into separate rooms to have a time out because I tried to read the riot act and they laughed in my face 😭😭 I CANNOT DO THIS!! I think I’m going to leave!! They clearly don’t give a shit!!

Forgot to say they are only 4 and 6 😭

How old are they?

Aww, to be fair they sound perfectly normal to me.

Do you take them out every day to try to use up some energy? What time will their dad be home - maybe you could go out for a couple of hours then

My two are similar ages and the exact same. They'll play nicely for a while then it's world war 3. I find it exceedingly tedious.

Ok- old enough to begin to play on their own then. Do you have a clear system for poor behaviour? If not spent this evening researching and choose one. It doesn’t really matter which, it just needs to be one you are comfortable with and can commit to implementing every time there is poor behaviour consistently. Get your DH on board too if you have one.

Tomorrow morning explain the system to the children. Also implement a positive reward system at the same time. List the good behaviours you want to see- they need it spelling out at this age. Indoor voices, sharing toys, etc. Give them a marble when you see them being good. Once a jar/container is full they can choose a day out together. Get them involved in planning the day out so they are excited about working towards it.

Are you setting up activities for them to do every day or just expecting them to free play? There are lots of play ideas on Instagram (littleslearn, fiveminutemum etc) you can follow for play ideas.

@NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 really?? I just don’t see that as Normal at all!! Nearly every other child I know does what they are told after 3/4 times at most!! Mine just don’t give a shit!!
We were already out this morning, got some summer clothes and new shoes for them. Took them for a milkshake and lunch, went to the toy shop and picked out sand for the sand pit...came home washed out sand pit, cleaned it and they played them they just got stupid and starting wanting to mix my new compost, water and sand! I said no so then they started to run into the house upstairs on the new carpet with sand to get water!! I went berserk!! They laughed in my face 😫

Hi op, you absolutely can do this!

You need a break clearly. Do you have a partner or husband? If so, please speak to them and explain how you're feeling.
If not, is there a good friend or family member you can ask to babysit?

Back to the kids, the holidays have just begun. Parents up and down the country will be feeling like you do now, its almost the law to be at the end of your tether towards the end of July!

Perfect your best authorative voice. give one warning/chance if not in any immediate danger and then follow through. They will soon realise that mummy isn't as soft as they think.

Mine are 8 and 16 now but I remember those days well. I once said that being i prison sounded like a break. It does get easier but that doesn't help you now.

I also used a "look" that meant "don't you bloody dare carry on like that you little shits terrors.
Good luck

@WhenZogateSuperworm yes... I am a teacher and I have done all of that! They just do not care 🤷‍♀️ Dh will be home later but he works away A LOT and I’m finding all of this too hard!! I’m not in a good head space I just don’t want to even do this any more 😭

Mine are 14 & 19 now- but we’ve all been there at some point! Even the most angelic of children have a moment or two, at least once. No parent is immune from it, if they say they are, they are telling fibs! Hang in there- only another 5 weeks to go!

@Zoflorabore
Authorative voice and stern stare are perfected (I am a teacher and I can manage my class better) - my two literally don’t care!
We are in Ireland and have been on holidays for the past 4 weeks!!

I am just fed up of living in a world where I have to raise my voice constantly! They don’t listen no mater how I say it!! I can explain it nicely, I can get down to their level, I can say it in a stern manner! They DO NOT CARE!they see everything as a challenge! 😫

Matter

Find them a holiday club? Sounds bloody exhausting.

You do need to sit down with your DH and agree on your discipline and consequences. They sound as if they’ve become a bit feral over the holidays.

Good luck!

Didn’t want to read and run. My daughter is 3, so younger, but she went through a recent belligerent phase and I felt like all I did was use my angry voice - it was exhausting.

I wouldn’t be taking them for any treats like milkshakes until they can prove they will behave and do as they are told, and I’d tell them that tomorrow.

I can remember one night almost losing my voice because they were being brats winding each other up- 5 years between them, so the eldest would be sly, and the youngest get the blame.

The following day in work I was delivering safeguarding children to 60 people. Typically one person said ‘Rae what’s wrong with your voice?’ ‘Ummmm shouting at the kids last night’, someone else says ‘are you sure you are the best person to deliver this?’ As everyone laughed! Lol

Watch some episodes of Super Nanny.
Jo Frost can turn little devils into angels! 👿 - 👼

Holiday Club. And no fucking sandpit.

I said no so then they started to run into the house upstairs on the new carpet with sand to get water!! I went berserk!! They laughed in my face 😫

What consequence do they get for that sort of behaviour?

No way they’d be getting treats and toys. Sounds like you should find them (seperate) holiday programs to save your sanity. And outside of that, run them ragged.

Have you checked their diets? They sound particularly naughty. Wondering if you could limit sugar & additives more? I found it made a big difference.

Oh my God I hear you!!!
My 2 are aged 4 and 1 and everything is a fight with them!
I just booked us a week away at a cheap holiday park and came back today. I can’t face 5 more weeks at home with them! I can’t afford to book anymore holidays! I got back today and wanted to cry. I let them out in the garden. They mixed sand into the flowerpots within about 2 minutes of me taking the tray off the sandpit.
If I leave them unsupervised one will end up having an accident of some description so I have to watch them like hawks. ALL THE TIME. The older one complains about everything. I even got told that her ice cream was too cold.
Seriously!
I don’t have any advice. Other then to say “I hear you”!
I’m so tired and fed up! And totally relate to everyone else’s children appear to behave like angels next to my two.

@DerelictWreck well I ended up putting them in their bedrooms and came into my room for space! Then when they had finished acting like brats I took them out and read the riot act. We are now back in the garden playing nicely but they know they are on thin ice! I’m totally winging it! What do you suggest??

@Skittlesandbeer this morning they had eggy bread and watermelon then at lunch they weren’t very hungry so they had a croissant and a fruit salad with yogurt. Then they had a ice cream. Dinner soon and it’s chicken and vegetable stir fry with noodles

For preference, try to take them out - beach, park, forest etc. Anywhere you can think that won't be too busy and if they make a mess it isn't the end of world.

Holiday club if you can - a lot of churches will have a week of activities if you're not opposed to bible stories thrown in, and generally free for a morning or afternoon each day.

@Sindragosan we were out at a park/arboretum all day yesterday with family and were in town this morning. I take them out A LOT!! Surely it’s not sustainable to be out every day! 😫 they need to learn to just be home too, sometimes I think that is part of the problem (I do take them out a lot so now they crack up at home! They are playing nicely in the garden now...I am considering today a major blip, I doesn’t happen like that every day thank god! But they just don’t listen to much either 😭

Youngest won’t go to camps and eldest is going to gymnastics camp for 3 days next week...phew!

Switch the TV on sit between them, nap & relax. Repeat. Your youngest will soon change her mind about camp.