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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not want to take someone else's child to school?

65 replies

Motherofatruck · 26/07/2019 13:53

A bit of background:
My child started school last September. My job at the time enabled me to walk him to school each morning and drop off at the usual time. After a few weeks, one of the mums approached me to ask a favour. Her work situation was changing and she wondered if I'd be able to pick her son up and take him to school a couple of times a week. She made it clear that I could say no and didn't pressure me at all. We walk past the road they live on, so it's a small detour. After thinking on it, I agreed to do it as it would save them the money for breakfast club and I really didn't mind helping out. I took him in four days a week (the other day wasn't convenient for me).
I get on well with the other mum. We talk a fair bit, and she's been aware that I was looking at a change of career. I've worked hard this past year and gained qualifications to support a career change. Back in June, I managed to secure a job which starts in September. I told other mum straight away and made her aware that my son would be going to breakfast club every day so she would need to make other arrangements for her child to get to school.
She didn't say much at the time, but recently she approached me to ask if I could pick their child up and take them to breakfast club when I take my child. I felt a bit 'on the spot' so didn't give a definite answer. Like last time, she's not pressuring me for an answer but I can't help feeling like this time the request is a bit cheeky.

For context, when I was picking her child up she was often still home or only just left for work. Me picking the child up meant she could be on the way to work 15/20 mins earlier but she doesn't need to leave too early in the morning. Throughout the school year she has started working from home a couple of days a week but I was never aware of which days she would be doing this. She would sometimes join us for the walk to school on these days. Sometimes I would be waiting a while for someone to come to the door and it was clear that the child had only just woken up and got dressed. Quite regularly the child would be eating biscuits on the way to school because they'd not had time for breakfast. Obviously, breakfast is not an issue from September as they will get fed at school but I'm concerned that the child will not be ready/awake and even if they are I would need to leave 5 mins earlier than if I was just taking my own child.
I feel a bit petty as 5 mins isn't all that much, but at the same time my mornings are already going to be very busy to ensure that myself and my child are ready to leave the house an hour earlier than we currently leave.
I'm also struggling to understand why she cant take her own child. She basically said that it would be a mad rush for her to get herself ready for work and the child ready and dropped off for breakfast club. But if she dropped the child off the same time as I'm taking mine she'd have another hour at home to get ready afterwards before the time she leaves for work... Or she could drop the child off a bit later. They don't have to be at breakfast club at a specific time.
While it hasn't been a huge pain to take her child into school, I hadn't expected to continue doing it for an indefinite length of time. There have also been those mornings when the children squabble or mess around on the way to school and I was looking forward to not dealing with that from September...

So WIBU to say no? Im not sure if I'm just unreasonably irked with her talking about how manic her morning would be, when I will have an equally manic start to the day and she's happy to add an extra job for me to do Hmm

OP posts:
Derbee · 26/07/2019 16:15

Good response OP, well done! It can be hard saying no

ysmaem · 26/07/2019 16:19

Just say you can't. You're not obliged to give a reason.

Di11y · 26/07/2019 16:25

goodness, glad you came to your senses. I'd love it if someone delivered my child to breakfast club, mornings are always such a rush. definitely CF.

CoconutDrink · 26/07/2019 16:27

Has she replied?

Bookworm4 · 26/07/2019 16:31

She really is the CF of this week!
Letting you take her child to school when in reality she didn’t need you to; she’s 5 mins from school, basically she wants a leisurely start to her day at your expense.
My txt would have been ‘off you fuck’

Motherofatruck · 26/07/2019 16:40

She has replied with "I understand. Don't worry about it" Grin
I feel so much better now I've said I won't do it.
To be fair to her, she's a 5 min walk from school but drop off can take a while due to the age of the children, so I was saving her 15/20 mins which helped her with the commute to work. It DID annoy me that she would randomly be at home and she didn't let me know, as some of those mornings could have been used to transition my child into breakfast club so it wouldn't have been a massive change in September.
I didn't mind helping before, it just felt really cheeky this time as initially she'd seemed fine to send her child to breakfast club (if I hadn't been able to take them in) and now all of a sudden she wanted me to do that for as well. Ah well! All sorted now, and will be on high alert for any more cheeky fuckery Blush

OP posts:
CacenCrunch · 26/07/2019 16:41

Definitely a CF. I notice how in your opening post she originally asked for a couple of days a week. You end up doing 4, and not 5 as that one didn't suit you! So she already took the piss there!

Cosentyx · 26/07/2019 16:44

Don't give it a second thought. She was trying it on.

Fae1989 · 26/07/2019 17:07

Agreeing with all the other responses - if it was a fair split (like you took her child to school a few days an vice versa, to make both your lives easier) then fair enough. But ultimately it's her child and her responsibility, YANBU to say enough's enough.

GaraMedouar · 26/07/2019 17:08

Glad you said no, and glad she sent that reply. And it wasn’t too difficult to do but is now a huge weight of worry off your shoulders Smile

Motherofatruck · 26/07/2019 17:39

@Orangecake123 I will look it up Grin

OP posts:
Motherofatruck · 26/07/2019 17:49

Exactly that @GaraMedouar... I was leaning towards saying no but was second guessing myself, so I'm glad I posted here for other people's opinions. Feel much better now I've let her know I won't be doing it.

OP posts:
Motherofatruck · 26/07/2019 17:53

I was panicking last night as she has another child starting at the school in the future and I had visions of taking that one in as well! I'm normally terrible at saying no, but I'm learning! Grin

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 26/07/2019 17:55

Stop over thinking it.

You don’t have to justify your actions

Her kids, her problem.

CarlaJones · 26/07/2019 22:25

Good reply. Definite CF

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