To let a 7 year old walk to and from school alone?

[toomuchtooold]

Just wondering what people think the norm is, really - we live in Germany and my kids were among the last, at just turned 7, to start walking to and from school alone, but I've been reading that home alone thread and I'm wondering if people will think it's too young - I think what helps here is that it's expected, so if you send your kid out to walk to school they won't be doing it alone.

Follow up question - does the age you let your kids walk to and from school have any relation to when you let them stay home alone? Or do you think it's a different question, different skills needed or whatever? And do they get to stay home alone before or after walking to school?

For me, I'm not comfortable leaving the kids home alone yet because they fight the whole time! And DD1 is sort of so keen to prove how grown up she is that she does daft things sometimes, like I could see her answering the door even if I'd said not to.

What do you think?

My dd is nearly 7 and she wouldn’t be able to work to school or home by herself. It’s a 30 min walk but even if she went to the school down the road she wouldn’t be able to do it. One because it’s not safe here to do that, two because she’d be too scared, three because she is away with the fairies and wouldn’t remember the route. Four our school does not allow this and children have to leave with an adult or upper senior school sibling

I think it depends on how far, what your child is like and how safe the area is.

I'm interested to hear some of the replies too - we have just started letting our 7 year old cross roads by herself. However, I am usually not far behind her, and can see her most of the time. The reaction I get from people though makes me think that I am giving her too much freedom too soon.

Home alone is different, as she can get a bit anxious if I am not there. I would leave her to pop to the shop (literally 1 minute away), but nothing more, as she would get nervous. When she's ready, I would probably feel comfortable in leaving her for longer.

Oh 7 is really young, how far is the school?

Walk to school not work

My son is 8. We recently moved but my parents live within a stones throw from the school as does the childminder. From February, I permitted him to walk to my parents/minders on his own. I drive him to school gate on my way to work but if my parents have him in the morning, he will walk up himself.
His teacher stopped him from walking home to the minders house just before they finished for the school term even though her house is 4 houses from the main gate.
I was 10 when I was given my own key for my house because my brother went to the bigger school and was finished 2 hours later.

In Germany - my 8 year old gets the U-Bahn to school and back. As you say, it is the norm here.
But in the UK I will probably cave into pressure and escort her even though it's easier and only a 5 minute walk because I do not want the school judging me. Cultural norms - do as in Rome.
Children left alone - my eldest was 14. No specific German law to my knowledge, just common sense.
That said, I can trust my 8 year old to sit nicely for 5 minutes whilst I
take the recycling down. I could post a letter at the end of the street.
More than that is a risk you have to acknowledge you're taking.
These are neurotypical kids - SN no way witth any of it at that age.

Many English parents will tell you its far to young. Many European parents will tell you it's fine.
In Germany, there is safety in numbers, as everyone is doing it. In England, very few primary kids go unaccompanied to school, so general public aren't expecting it.
Different countries do things in different orders/ at different ages. Most countries seem to produce functioning adults.

3 months ago, my 8 yr old was dismissed from the classroom, and got his own (dedicated) bus home with no adult input. He now isnt allowed to leave the classroom without pointing out his responsible adult to his teacher.

Yes, I would let my child walk at that age, have done it with my older child and will do it with my younger children. Unless, of course, they have some issues which make them very unreliable.

My daughter didn't walk to school very often by herself at that age, but that was because we usually went by bike and it was mainly on the street. But occasionally she would walk herself to and/or from school or walk to music lesson and then home after school or take the bus. From 8 she went to a different school and biked herself to and from - was bike lanes only.
She was allowed to go to a shop that was close to our home from around 5 or 6 (included crossing a road) and played outside by herself from 4 (housing complex with playground, meadow, bushes, trees in the middle). I also left her at home by herself for short periods of time from age 4.

Depends where you live and what the route is like. Depends on the child too.

I’m pretty sure that my son’s primary school doesn’t allow children to walk alone until year 5 (10-11 yrs old).

It'll be hard to compare norms from the UK and to where you are, as you already said that most people send their children to and form school alone earlier than your child anyway.

Where I am it just isn't allowed. My infant school doesn't allow any child - our eldest ones are 7y - to walk home alone. They must be collected by an adult or a teen. We have the odd 11 or 12y who collects (secondary school child) but only with a letter of confirmation from a parent, and they can only collect y2 pupils.) The juniors next door - I think it is from y4 or y5 but most don't til year 6.

At DD's primary it was encouraged in year 6 in preparation for going to secondary - but as a gradual thing. With a letter only from half way through year 5.

My sons school only allow the kids to travel to and from school unaccompanied in year 6 (so age 10 & 11) which I agree with. 7 is far too young in most cases, especially where it is a longer walk or across busy roads.

We used to leave dd home alone from secondary school age - so 11y. Before that when we was around 10y just whilst Id pop to the local shops. But built it up gradually. We didn't leave her home alone at night til much later.

Very sensible 7 year old here, very short walk, no major roads. There’s no way if ket her walk to school alone. It’s far too young. Year 5/6 earliest depending on the child. 10 at least, possibly older.

Depends where you're from and what the route is. I walked home from 8 but it was a safe pedestrian route with only two roads to cross, in an area where very few people came to school by car - so if I'd had any problems, I would have been able to get help from another kid/parent/teacher.

If you were sending an seven year old off to cross a dual carriageway in the dark, that would be a terrible idea.

In your context, that sounds utterly reasonable. You should look into what they do in Japan!

I think it all depends on the child and the area more so than what everyone else does. Personally I think 7 is too young, But I know parents who allow this. For us they were approx 10 years when they walked, we have alot of major roads plus it's not the norm for many to walk, most drive.

I remember one time, bringing mine and seeing a little boy about 6/7 sitting on a wall looking lost, I asked him if he wanted to walk with us, he was all chatty and said he does be afraid crossing the biggest road on the route because alot of cars drive through when the green man is on and he has to run out of the way, so he would wait near the road until someone else came along crossing and he would cross with them. It was very sad listening to him, he sounded so scared, I had asked him if he told his Mam and he said that she tells him he's a big boy now and not to be a chicken shit !!

[I also left her at home by herself for short periods of time from age 4.]

that's very sad, how short a time are we talking here ? out to the garden, or off to do a shop.

Germany has an entirely different mindset on this so I am not sure you can compare Uk and Germany on this one - usually in UK its yr 4 which is age 8-9 and then with the permission of the school usually. It is far more common in Germany to see kids walking to school on their own. I personally think they have a far healthier approach to risk than here. In fact kids here are more often at risk from their own parents given the rise in acrimonious divorce

It definitely makes a difference that it is the cultural norm. For me, still a little too young, but it depends on how far the school is, whether it is a pedestrianised space, whether there is a lollipop person, whether it’s a crime-free area and so on.

Just different cultural norms.

I used to walk to school age 8 in 80s, crossing main roads etc, was not unusual then.

Things change though. Playing out as well, hardly any kids play out find here at any age. They are looked after in houses / supervised until secondary school age when they are more going shopping and stuff. Rarely see kids mucking about on bikes in the residential streets.

So it's cultural and changes over time.

These days in uk most people would be horrified at 7yo doing school back and forth alone, it would get reported to school etc.

It depends on the commute to school. I do see 7 yo on the tube on my route in London - but I imagine their whole commute must be tube based with a short walk from the station to their school.

At the council estate where I grew up kids still walk to school from Year 1. Often parents train their kids up especially for the walk as a bit of responsibility when they start infants / primary - but these kids will often do the first walk alone and then find friends to walk back with.

Our primary wont let kids go home on own before year 6

Agree there may be local variations

Year 1 my kids just turned 5,

Even I think that's too young!

^"[I also left her at home by herself for short periods of time from age 4.]

that's very sad, how short a time are we talking here ? out to the garden, or off to do a shop."^

Why is that sad? It's not like I forced her to stay at home by herself - she wanted too ;) And since she was very responsible, I allowed it. She - like many other children - actualy was more responsible when on her own. It was only very short periods of time - 15 minutes while I went to the laundry room (it was in another building within our complex). Later also to the shop close to us, also about 15 minutes. As she got older, the times got longer. At 6 I could easily leave her for an hour.
At 7 I worked early on some occasions and she'd get herself ready for school by herself. Once, I think she was 8, I even had to leave before she even had to get up, so I sat her the alarm clock. She could have gone to school early and make use of their morning care, which she sometimes did, but she didn't have to, so it was her choice.

toomuchtooold we're in Germany too, and yes obviously it's the right thing to do to allow your children to walk to school without you (which isn't the same as alone because hoards of children will be walking at the same time, and unless you use private school there is no such thing as "out of catchment" so all the primary school children will be heading to the same school). Like most decent parents I have done volunteer schülerlotse Dienst (lollypop duty) once per week since my youngest started kindergarten - yes despite working - many UK parents would sadly be outraged at the idea of being expected to give up early morning time to make the way to school safer for all children rather than make the way more dangerous for pedestrian children by driving their own child to school.

As you must know the infrastructure is set up for it in Germany, and the opinion of someone in Luton or Leeds is completely and utterly irrelevant.

Mine took themselves to school from age 6 - dc1 was actually 5 years 11.5 months I have done

Children who are taken to school by parents are universally viewed with a kind of bemused pity - there were twins in dc1's class who were for far too long; they lived almost the closest to school! I must say that they still at 11 have very intense, hovery parents which does them no favours.

There's one girl in dc3's class who is driven to school and this is viewed as antisocial behaviour, given that if everyone did it it would make conditions for children walking so much more dangerous - and therein lies the problem with school run culture in most but not all of the UK.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3647171-To-leave-an-8-and-12-year-old-while-I-pop-to-the-shop

I just posted on that thread meaning to post on this one, have a look if you cba.