To let a 7 year old walk to and from school alone?

[toomuchtooold]

Just wondering what people think the norm is, really - we live in Germany and my kids were among the last, at just turned 7, to start walking to and from school alone, but I've been reading that home alone thread and I'm wondering if people will think it's too young - I think what helps here is that it's expected, so if you send your kid out to walk to school they won't be doing it alone.

Follow up question - does the age you let your kids walk to and from school have any relation to when you let them stay home alone? Or do you think it's a different question, different skills needed or whatever? And do they get to stay home alone before or after walking to school?

For me, I'm not comfortable leaving the kids home alone yet because they fight the whole time! And DD1 is sort of so keen to prove how grown up she is that she does daft things sometimes, like I could see her answering the door even if I'd said not to.

What do you think?

We live in Germany. Our primary school actively encourages children from year 1 (ages 6-7) to walk to school alone.

My 7.5 year old would be sensible enough to walk home, we live 1 street away with only 1 road to cross. School don't let them go alone until year 5. It's the idiots driving all over the pavements around the school that would stop us here.

Different friends had difficulty in letting their primary schools let their children walk home at ages 9-10 in London.

The children didn't walk home alone but with a sibling the same age or older but they still had to fight for it.

Their particular children were also not crossing main roads. They either were crossing no roads or side roads that had speed humps which had been in place for over 20 odd years.

Once their school agreed for them to do it more parents got the school to agree, so there ended up being groups of 9-10 year olds walking to and from school together.

Even 12 years ago in England it was fine as none of my relations had issues with their primary schools allowing their children from junior school age walk to and from school alone. Some kids even had their own door keys from age 8-9.

@SmartPlay
No four year old is very responsible but yeah, keep telling yourself that to justify it.

I wouldn't have done. Mostly because of the road they would have had to cross.

@formerbabe "No four year old is very responsible but yeah, keep telling yourself that to justify it."

If you say so.

@SmartPlay

Yep, I do say so as do most people. It would be very interesting to see what would happen if your four year old told their teacher that they are left home alone...

@formerbabe - it would depend on how that 4 yo is raised. In a lot of cultures children are expected to be responsible and reasonably self-sufficient from a very young age. It’s not uncommon to find British kids of South Asian origin starting to cook meals or take on caring responsibilities from 4-5 to help out. For these families the ability of their kids to walk alone to school is essential and many inner city schools encourage this.

@Teddybear45

I was responding to the poster who said this...

I also left her at home by herself for short periods of time from age 4

So so wrong, whichever way you want to look at it.

I think it’s too young, I didn’t start walking to and from school on my own until last year of primary school and I was one of the first ones to do so

Child development is a thing and aside from how they are raised.

Eg traffic, before a certain level of brain development they have poor ability to judge speed of approach of cars, I read.

Small children can of course be trained to do things, and execute them same way each time. Whether that's cooking, cleaning. Looking after a baby. Working in fields, working in factories. Of course.

What they are less able to do is know what to do when things go wrong or change, and are less able to judge situations, more trusting.

I think 4yo is way too young to be going to school on own (assuming it's not next door!).

The fact that small children all over the world are trained to do various tasks or work, out of necessity or other reasons, doesn't mean its a good thing?

My 7.5 year old would be sensible enough to walk home, we live 1 street away with only 1 road to cross. School don't let them go alone until year 5. It's the idiots driving all over the pavements around the school that would stop us here

That's interesting. Your 7 year old is sensible enough to walk alone but you don't allow it because of the idiotic driving? So you as an adult can navigate the walk despite the idiotic driving but your 7 year old can't, thus proving the point that your seven year old isn't actually mature enough to walk alone.

Any one who leaves a four year old home alone is neglectful.

I let my 7 year old go to the shop on his own, which is marginally further away than school but still only across a green and one road. He is thrilled to have this degree of independence and it has really helped his self-esteem to know that we trust him to do this.

Watching 'Planet Child' was a big factor in this decision - it made us realise that we are guilty of assuming that our children aren't capable of things simply because we never give them the chance. Backing off and letting them do things themselves is really hard (letting my 3 year old use a knife the size of his forearm was a particularly hairy one!), but it has proved hugely beneficial in terms of their self-confidence and our relationships with them.

@formerbabe " It would be very interesting to see what would happen if your four year old told their teacher that they are left home alone..."

My daughters teachers knew her very well - therefore there wouldn't have been any concern on their side, had she told them. And maybe she did tell them, I don't know.

@Fraggling "Eg traffic, before a certain level of brain development they have poor ability to judge speed of approach of cars, I read. "

That's true. Which is why I "trained" my daughter to cross a street that way (she was allowed to go to go to a shop nearby, which involved crossing a street with a zebra crossing, from around 6 or maybe a bit earlier): If there is a car approaching, regardless of how far away it is, she has to wait. Either until the car comes to a complete stop in front of the crossing, or until the car is close and she can clearly see the driver waving to her to cross. I also taught her to always look at the driver, not the car itself, in order to be sure that she'd been seen.
This should also be taught for crossings with lights, and also to older children - too many drivers are stupid.

"Any one who leaves a four year old home alone is neglectful."

@Lllot5 You are right, my poor daughter has been so neglected, because she was capable of playing by herself for 15 minutes without setting the flat on fire or killing herself :(

Out primary school also doesn't let the children walk joke until year 6. You have to sign a form to say they can. I have a 7yr old ds and I wouldn't let him walk to school on his own and there's only one small road to cross. He also has no desire to. He still finds my hand to cross a road, in car parks etc.

My daughters teachers knew her very well - therefore there wouldn't have been any concern on their side, had she told them

I don't know what country you live in..however, in the UK, teachers have to record/report safe guarding concerns, whether they know your daughter or you well or not is totally irrelevant.

And yes, it's absolutely neglectful.

Luckily I did not live in the UK or in a country where children are sugarcoated until they are 20 ;) So my daughter was able to grow up and develop with a lot of freedom and independence, while always being perfectly safe, because she was "released into the world" slowly. She also learned that reliabilty is rewarded with trust (and therefore independence), so it was always in her own interest to be reliable and stick to the rules I set, whenever she was by herself.

Mine started walking at 7, almost 8, with friends though not completely alone. Short walk across a couple of quiet roads. I knew he was ready as I'd observed his road sense from a distance for quite a while prior to letting him and he was playing out at that age too. We're very lucky to live in a small catchment area so all his school friends are neighbours also.
Didn't start leaving him home alone until 9 though as that's when he started asking. Again lots of adults in our street he could go to for help if needed and grandparents 5 minutes away. Different kids will be ready at different ages plus where you live plays a huge part too imo.

I would be fine with my children walking to school alone, it's not even a 5 minute walk. 3-4 minutes max. I don't let them though due to the lazy, careless parents' ridiculous parking outside the school, on the zig zags, on grass verges and all the way up the street,
They very rarely check their mirrors whilst reversing. I'm surprised a child hasn't been injured by now. I feel it's not safe for my children to be crossing between a street full of parked cars.
If this was not the case, I'd allow them to walk.