To ask why my niece wasn’t admitted to hospital

[Youareenoughasyouare]

My niece who’s 17 took a small overdose at the beginning of this week. She was assessed by camhs at a&e where she told them she still felt very low. Aibu to think she should have been admitted to a mental health unit? So she’s safe?

It is terribly difficult to get help unless you have lots of money.
Once a child is 18 you can't do anything to help because they have to organise everything themselves.

I tried every possible route to get help for my child and was met with a brick wall because he was technically an adult (I couldn't get him out of the house to see anyone). My son is dead and I am watching his brother's mental health unravel because he is grief stricken and lost without his big brother.
I don't trust the NHS to offer help, even if anyone would listen to me.
Mental health provision is really poor and it isn't just about money, it is about attitudes, prejudice, stereotyping, gate keeping.

I am so sorry OP, I hope that you can all rally round and your niece can come through this.

is she competing with her friend?

My mum has been sectioned more times than I can count- almost always a few weeks after we have begged the crisis team to admit. She’s been stable for a while now but when I was growing up she bounced in and out of hospital. Psych wards are bloody horrible places. There have to be more beds as clearly provision is too stretched and admission thresholds too high but if she can be supported in the community, it would be nicer to stay at home.

I’ve explained it depends on who does the assessment.

With respect, I'm not sure that was the best idea - it will just fuel her perception that she isn't being looked after properly, when 99.99% of people really are better off out of hospital.

None of us know why her friend was admitted. There could be huge amounts of background things going on which your niece is unaware of. Lots of reasons have been given in this thread as to why your niece wasn't admitted.

I wonder if your niece imagines a mental hospital to be much nicer than they really are.

What kind of support does she want? What was it she was hoping to get from a hospital admission?

I'm a paediatric nurse. She should be admitted to a general paediatric ward/ Adult ward. And seen by CAMHs the next day. Usually discharged with community follow up. Mental health beds are like gold dust so only used in extreme cases. Admissions for self harm have sky rocketed since I qualified 15 years ago. Children's Services are struggling to cope with demand.

@munemema you are so right. When I first qualified, kids took an OD because they'd had an argument with someone and it was a one off. The lives that some kids have now, Are just appalling.

endofthelinefinally
good god im so very sorry for your loss and what your going through now.it makes my blood boil the lack of help and the stigmad and shit blasted at people suffering with their mental health.may i give you one giant hug across the internet waves please.
i dont know whethe ryour son committed suicide or whether yo are in the uk.but have you sought out the charities set up for those in bereavement from suicide.there are quite a few out there and could this help your sons brother.ive seen lots more done with this from people in your exact position the going on to set up these charities to help those suffering with the loss.
would he goes to the gp.just to talk things through.on the one off chance they might be able to do "some" good.
i could offer advice till im blue i nthe face or things you could say or talk to him about this.but it seem so cliche comgnig from across the keyboard doesnt it.
but i am sorry.and i am really thinking of you both.
is there anything you think we could do to help.anything you need.even if its just an ear?

Thank you kateandme.
MN has been the best support and help for me.
I honestly don't know what more I can do for DS2 other than be here for him. I am so, so scared to push him because the quality and availability of counselling/support is so variable.
I think his friends have been the most help tbh.
That and physical work. If he works to the point of exhaustion he can sleep. It is the days off/weekends that are difficult for him.
Being at home is difficult.
Being away from home is difficult.
I don't know what to do for the best tbh.

I made a GP appointment for DS1 just before he died. I couldn't get him there, so I went on my own.
The receptionist physically stood across the doorway to try and stop me getting into the GP's room.
I did get in, but couldn't achieve anything because of confidentiality.
Anyway, this isn't my thread.
I just want to express my understanding and sympathy for the OP, because the help just isn't there and it is torture watching a young person suffering and not being able to intervene.

bugger whether it your thread endofthelinefinally you need a bit of help or vent through a subject cose to you go for it.its an open forum.and everyone needs support.especially when a topic opens things up for them.
sounds like you had some appalling treatment from the doctors.there is so much misunderstanding and mistreatment of mental health and how to support people.people at their most vulnerable and its shocking.
do you speak to him.can he share with you how he is feeling.
perhaps conversations of where hed like to be in the futures.as in what he wants right now.coming in a few weeks and what would his dreams be if he was happy,what would his future look like.it might help see what you can do now in the little moments and then open him up to how he could be if he could keep going.
do you mnage to talk about his brother.perhaps doing something the both of them or three of you would have wanted.to achieve something?raise money by doing an event or task.
its so hard.just keep tellin him your there.that your both in grief.and that you can get through this.there is right there in front of you what happens when mental illness takes over.you dont deserve that too.neither of you.
i am here if you ever need to chat.talk things through.a sounding board.or screaming ranting raging board.
i might not always say the right thing.but id always try to listen.

It sounds like she doesn't understand what it's like.

Her friend being admitted isn't relevant to her situation. It's got nothing to do with who assessed her. She's so much better off out of hospital.

Here all the NHS offers now is mindfulness. Anything else must be paid privately for.

Hospital can be counterproductive, especially for a young person. People tend to see a mental health ward like a physical health ward, in that you go there, get treated, recover and be discharged. But MH wards are really places where extremely high risk is managed and contained, and much of the recovery resources like therapies remain in the community only. It really is better for recovery to keep hospital as an absolute last resort.

Inpatient wards can be rough places. They cover a full range of mental health problems and violence, self-harm and drug use are not uncommon incidents, and this can be hugely disturbing for everyone on the ward. Staff do their best but it's a high risk patient group who are there for good reason.

Behaviours like self-harm in young people can almost be 'contagious' and it isn't unheard of for teenagers self-harming behaviours to worsen in hospital when they meet peers who have been engaging in this behaviour for some time.

The MH bed situation is truly dire, but even with unlimited beds admission should be kept as an absolute necessity.

endofthelinefinally
So sorry to hear about your eldest son.

I have worked in CAMHS for many years. CAMHS has a protocol jointly with the hospitals regarding under 18s who self harm. If every child who was seen in A&E was admitted there would be no beds left. In my area all children under 16 are kept in a children's ward overnight for a period of reflection and then are assessed on risk before being discharged home with a follow up appointment. 16 and 17 year olds can be sent home after being risk assessed if the of repeated self harm is deemed low.
In the case described by the OP the young person is already under CAMHS and protective factors will have been discussed prior to her discharge from hospital.

40 years ago not everyone who took a serious overdose had a mental health admission. My relative had a hospital admission for 5 days to a cardiac ward after a serious overdose. And he was discharged to family as that was deemed to be a better option for him.