To despair of DD’s School re Healthy Eating?

[Bunnylady53]

They are so hypocritical! We got a letter home today about improving healthy eating eg fruit for snack time, bringing in sugar free sweets for birthdays etc. Then what do they give DD & her classmates on their last day? A bag containing sweets! Also they give sweets out as a reward for good work & there’s always a sweet stall at the fairs. At the summer fair, they have a stall where you can win jamjars crammed with sweets. Even at film night, they have sweets. It’s like they think kids are incapable of doing anything without having to be fed! Oh & often there are fundraisers where cakes are sold. I’m not against children having stuff like this but not so often & they need to be offered alternatives way more

Yanbu always having sweets for a celebration is worse, than just having them occasionally as a normal part of your diet, in terms of creating an emotional eating link with them.

Also children have so many ‘special occasions’ when they’re young, lots of birthday parties, grandparents treating their grandchildren (which is also always defended on here), Easter, Halloween, Christmas... add in every school event and special occasions provide enough sweets etc for a child to eat them practically every day without a parent ever once buying them. It would be much better as a society if at least schools would model the idea that it’s possible to celebrate without (over) indulging on sweets.

Some sweets occasionally isn’t going to do any harm is it?
You should definitely follow bumpers suggestion.
Oh and join the pta - they are parent volunteers after all. Then you can affect what they do positively rather than just whinging at them.

You won't win this on mn.
Or anywhere else in the U.K.Look at the obesity and tooth decay.

I think you’d do better looking at the lunch menus on offer.

If they serve ale/biscuits/crumbles etc everyday, but insist on “healthy” packed lunches where no cakes/biscuits/flapjacks are allowed.
That’s the hypocrisy.

My DS was “trained” to point out the pudding of the day any time a teacher queried if he had a piece of cake or whatever. Eventually spoke to the school and told them to do one and not speak to him directly about the lunches I provided. If they took issue, they were to contact me directly. And the one time I got called up, I asked what was in the lunch menu that day. Asked if they’d spoken to all the children/parents that chose that pudding, and I’d speak to the, ice they’d done that. They didn’t ring again....

You don’t get obese on a few sweets occasionally. My dentist friend allows sweets fine as long as not eaten incessantly. Family picnicking next to us had a full on kfc coke chips etc as their picnic. That’s how you get fat

Uk has some of the healthiest teeth in the world

Not most beautiful because nhs doest do that as much as private

I never buy mine sweets at home and let them get their ‘quota’ from the ones they get via school and parties, so I can’t get too sweaty about sweets.

What does bother me at our school, and I put it in feedback which gets ignored whenever they ask for it, is the appalling food offered by their wrap-around care club and for school lunches. The breakfast club is all sugary cereals and toast with compulsory jam, lunch always comes with pudding (they’re given an ‘option’ of fruit, yoghurt or cake/biscuit/custard...which do you think most go for?) and the after school club serves a ‘substantial snack’ (their terminology) which involves hot dogs, chips, waffles and beans, fish fingers...it’s a full meal of beige carbs and processed meat, basically.

When DS1 was in Reception I was working very full time so he had all three meals at school. A fruit or vegetable didn’t pass his lips for an entire week and he got so constipated he ended up on an entire box of movicol. I ended up cutting my hours so I didn’t have to send him or his brother to after school club and the awful food at all, and I give them breakfast at home, but there is still no regulation or encouragement provided by either the care club or school to make healthier choices, or just give children no choices but healthy ones! DS1 gleefully told me that, despite having had breakfast at home, ‘they let me have FOUR crumpets at breakfast club!’ I mean, WTF? What responsible adult allows a six year old to do that when the obesity crisis is all over the news? And why can’t the sugary pudding option on the school menu be a once a week thing rather than every day?

I certainly don’t deny DD sweets. I just don’t want her eating them all the time

This is what the school are doing too! Discouraging having them all the time (e.g. in lunchbox) but not denying them completely (e.g. at school fete once a year, at end of term once a year, as a reward occasionally)

I read the letter again & lunchboxes weren’t mentioned. DD has school dinners anyway as she’s very fussy & I struggle to put together a reasonable & balanced packed lunch for her.
Mainly it was the irony of DD bringing home a letter to ask parents to help promote healthy eating & also bringing home a bag of sweets. Even if those sweets came out of the teacher’s own money, then that teacher wasn’t exactly promoting healthy eating. She could have got them all stationary or something. They really do seem to have sweets a lot in school. I’m not saying with the fundraising that sweets etc shouldn’t be sold but perhaps it could be cut down a bit eg the jars of sweets. DD won 3 one year & had piles of sweets. I certainly don’t want certain foods to be off limits. DM has an undiagnosed eating disorder & so I grew up really struggling with my body image & feeling guilty for eating particular things. I don’t want DD to go through all that. There are enough pressures on kids now.

Also, at things like the film night, the money is made by ticket sales & they don’t charge etc for a drink & sweets so why bother having them? You can get through a film without needing anything to eat! I think that’s another important point - people seem to think that kids need snacks all the time. One of my friend’s little boy doesn’t stop eating all day! Then she wonders why he can’t finish his meals.

OP Unclench.

The occasional sweet isn't an issue. Daily treats are. Does your dd get daily treats from school? I suspect the answer is no.

You are in control at school fairs etc, it's up to you to say no.

We had a jam jar tombola for our school fayre. Parents were asked to contribute a filled jar with either little toys (people did things like a little notebook and pen/or a little ball) or sweets. Next year, when the pta start collecting from parents the jars, why not fill quite a few with things other than sweets? Or join the pta and organise it yourself.
You seem to be complaining about what the pta are doing, and yet this is something that you can change, so do that rather than complain.

I don't ever think it's appropriate for schools to be giving children sweets. Neither of the schools my DC attend ever had.

@araiwa not accurate, there are still huge numbers of kids in all parts of UK with tooth decay, which affects those living in disadvantaged areas disproportionately, it’s the most common reason for child admissions to hospital (to have tooth extraction under general anaesthetic) - part of the reason for that is eating foods that cause decay i.e. those containing sugar!
OP yanbu, what goes on in school has a big effect on children’s attitudes & behaviours for life - so these kind of mixed messages are confusing for them. Also agree with PP re. not good to emotionally associate sweets with treats

OP I agree our schools are giving mixed messages.

Tooth decay is a big issue where we are. I know some children can be more prone however so many people are clueless.

I don't think it is the odd sweet which causes such problems with teeth and obesity - it is the constant snacking which seems to go on these days. If a child has 3 square meals a day, there is no need for them to have snacks as well!

By the way, at one of my schools we had a sweet tin each which we could fill every weekend and were allowed sweets after lunch every day!!

@Mummatron3000 that’s true of all countries though, particularly amongst areas of deprivation, even more so where no basic free dental treatment is provided

It is a public health issue hence why schools have been given the task of educating on this.

One thing that really got my toothbrush refuser to take it seriously was a visit by a dentist parent to the class.

I used to get all exercised over this but now I’m too weary to worry too much.

DS1 is a pickle when it comes to sweets and I have to watch that but DS2’s school bag contains several unopened packets of Haribo from various classmates birthdays which he has forgotten about.

That seems like alot of sweets to me. Whats wrong with popcorn on movie night?

Also agree with PP re. not good to emotionally associate sweets with treats
Having sweets as an occasional treat doesn't cause some sort of weird emotional relationship with them.

We were allowed sweets once a week on the way home from school and that was it. It was a weekly treat. All of us have grown up with a healthy attitude to food. We were taught that some things you have in moderation. None of us buy into the idea of 'good food and bad food', there's no 'naughty' foods, just different foods in moderation.

It's not rocket science: eat a healthy balanced diet and that means sweets are an occasional item, not a staple of daily eating.

The issue isn’t whether or not sweets are ok as an occasional treat. The issue is who gets to decide when it’s ok.

Schools are not allowing parents to make that decision. If you put sweets or other so-called "unhealthy" foods in a child's lunch box just once, as an occasional treat, you immediately get a red card.

What this is really about is government 'experts' and social policy makers extending their reach, because they believe child-rearing is too important to be left to parents.

And can we drop the old chestnut that parents aren’t entitled to a view unless they join the PTA/board of governors/whatever. You might as well say you can’t complain about bin collections if you aren’t prepared to be a local councillor.

Elphaba that sounds such a poor standard.

I watched a BBC News "look how crappy China still is behind the scenes" report a couple of years ago showing big state orphanages, run on a shoestring etc. I could not help be impressed by the lively looking kids shown eating a superb looking meal with plenty of veg in the bowl and think few (no?) kids here would be getting such a nutritious meal care of a UK institution.

I work in a school and those jars full of sweets are serious moneymakers. Its those kind of things that pay for your dear child ‘s coach for his/her school trip, swimming every week.

And sweets on the last day? For god sake, lighten up. Or be tyat mum that will get the 🙄 when you write a note to say “no sweets” please.