14 year old babysitting

[muddiecuddles]

Not sure if I am being overly anxious re this - my 14 year old niece took my 6 and 4 year old to the park for me at lunchtime, then asked if she could bring them back to her house to play with the dogs (sil and bil both out at work). I said yes absolutely, all walking, no major roads to cross etc. Then my other sil dropped her 10 month old over for a few hours for her to mind along with my two. She's very happy to do it but it seems a lot for a 14 year old to juggle by herself. If I'd known she was minding the baby I'd have said to drop my two home after the park.

So what is your aibu?

Do you think she'll just ignore your 2 now the baby is there then?

I think your 6 and 4 year old will be fine. You could call your niece and ask to speak to the children to check that they’re having a good time if you’re worried? Personally I think that 14 is very young to be looking after a baby, especially alongside 2 other children but your SIL obviously feels she’s responsible enough. I wouldn’t be worried about the older 2 though.

Yes too much for a 14 year old. My daughter is 14 and two kids would be plenty, add a baby and that’s too much. All it takes for the baby to get fussy and the kids to have a spat and all hell could break loose!
How many mums post on here saying they are finding it tough with one in this heat let alone three at just 14?

My Aibu is whether I'm being unreasonable to think that this is too much for a 14 year old

Not worried about my two getting attention just whether she'd cope if for example the 4 year old tripped over and needed attention and the baby was crawling all over the place not being supervised

I think the 14 year old will probably cope, but maybe I'd head over there after an hour or so with an ice lolly for everyone? That way she won't get the feeling you're checking up on her/feel she can't cope.

No-one can really tell you whether it's too much for a 14yr old, without knowing this particular 14yr old, or indeed the children/baby she's minding.

Sometimes 2 kids and a baby can be too much for one person but that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with that person's age.

Also, I'm assuming she has your phone number?

I think she's fine with your two but think dropping a 10 month old on her is a bit harsh and unfair

Yes I think that is too much for a 14 year old. I think the 4 and 6 year old is too though tbh.

Yes it is too much but the 4&6 year old are too imo

Thanks all - her mum is home now and they're giving my two dinner now. All fine Next time will make sure she's not double booking herself for her own sake.

No way in hell - that’s too many children. I wouldn’t let a 14 year old babysit for a 10 month on their own anyway but with the other 2 no way.

I agree re the baby btw - I don't let her babysit our baby of a similar age (but babysitting for her other nieces and nephews is none of my business!!)

Yes too much also a four year old is too much in addition to a six year old out of the house.

The 4 and 6 year old I only let her take to the playground in the local park which is basically at the end of our road, or to the cinema if they are dropped and collected. I've always thought this was fine

I wouldn't be too worried about the children though it is s lot for a 14 year old who isn't used to multitasking. I would be worried about the dogs as she may not be observant enough with 3 kids there.

Yanbu. I'd be worried too, especially with dogs as well - these ages can be fine if all is going well, but then if the baby is crawling off somewhere dangerous then the 4 and the 6 year old start squabbling, for example, that can be quite a lot to manage and she simply won't have had the experience.

I have 4 DCs of similar ages and am generally very relaxed but would be very unhappy if I knew a 14 year old had been left with 3 of them. It's not fair on any of them if anything goes wrong.

Too much. But then I wouldn’t leave a 4 and a 6 year old with a 14 year old either.

I shudder to remember the babysitting I was doing at her age and wonder how we all survived it! No way I'd let a 14 year old take that on for more than half an hour /emergency now.

I forgot about the dogs.... that’s even worse. I think if anyone had been bitten you would be liable. ( and a 10 month near dogs ? Craziness )

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.express.co.uk/news/uk/227553/Police-caution-mum-for-leaving-son-14-to-mind-three-year-old-brother/amp

I can remember this case in Thames Valley - the mother was cautioned for leaving a 3 year old with a 14 year old. The law is vague on the matter but NSPCC guidelines are under 16 year olds should not be caring for children younger than themselves.

It totally depends on the 14 yo. My DD1 could deal with that without blinking. She has regularly babysat 3 siblings in our street since she was 14. When a child (not in her charge) was knocked over outside the church hall she was the first person to react and help the child/get help. She's calm and collected and already has both "the look" and "the tone" mastered.

Her twin sister on the other hand I'd still prefer to have a babysitter for her at 16 because she's as scatterbrained as sin so not a chance would I let her.

The only thing I'd be bothered about in that situation would be the playing with the dogs part!

Crikey I feel really neglectful now... should I say something to my sil (who regularly leaves the baby with the 14 year old). Or stay out of it?