14 year old babysitting

[muddiecuddles]

Not sure if I am being overly anxious re this - my 14 year old niece took my 6 and 4 year old to the park for me at lunchtime, then asked if she could bring them back to her house to play with the dogs (sil and bil both out at work). I said yes absolutely, all walking, no major roads to cross etc. Then my other sil dropped her 10 month old over for a few hours for her to mind along with my two. She's very happy to do it but it seems a lot for a 14 year old to juggle by herself. If I'd known she was minding the baby I'd have said to drop my two home after the park.

I would, an under 2 year old and especially and under 1 , is too much responsibility for a 14 year old.

Stay out of it. If you think she’s too young to mind your baby then don’t let her mind your baby, but leave your SIL to make her own decisions

If you want to say to your niece that you’d rather she’d have brought yours home when she had another child or you don’t mind her cancelling if she’s double booked that’s fine, but you don’t get to choose your SIL’s decisions to think she’s an adequate babysitter

Really difficult when it's SiL not your sister. If it's your DBs wife can you gently say some thing to him? Or if it's DH sister, may be DH can bring it up with her.

A sensible 14 yr old I would let baby sit a 4 & 6 year old but tbh probably only really in the house, where the 4 yr old is concerned. I would never leave a 14 year old minding a 10m baby, let alone with 2 other children to watch. Today I watched a 10m old plus 2 older ones (my own & a nephew) and it required serious vigilance and experience to keep them all safe.... and I'm a 34 year old parent.

Thank you all so much for responding. I was second guessing myself as I tend to be overly anxious. I'll set limits more effectively in future and perhaps raise the baby issue with sil if it comes up.

At 11 I was taking my cousins new born out for a few hours at 13 i was taking 3 between 6months and 4 at the same time(different cousin) and at 14 when one cousins step mum had a stroke I had her two aged 1 and 3 and her step sisters 4 ages 2 4 and and a 4 month old set of twins. One of whom had meningitis a short while before. Had then over night. My mum was home in the evening but all 6 were my responsibility. It depends on the individual and how mature they are.

At 14 I was hired for the summer to babysit 3 kids under 5 while their mother worked. It was exhausting, but I took it seriously. 14 year olds are old enough to care for little kids, if they want to and take it seriously.

Am surprised at all the people here saying that they or their dds could manage 2 young kids, a baby and multiple dogs at 14. Sure, while things are going ok it would be fine, or if it was evening and kids were asleep - but if things go wrong it is unfair to put this burden on a child.

I also see that there is not one person saying they'd leave a 14 year old in charge of their own young children.

Yup too much I'd say. Yanbu

The fact that other people have babysat as a child and encountered no problems doesn’t make it appropriate. The issue is not how you manage when things are going fine but how you manage when things go wrong. And certainly an 11 year old or 13 year old is way too young ( unless you’re going to say you’d had special paediatric first aid training ). I’m not saying this as a random but as someone with professional child protection experience. From the OPs perspective if something had happened that had necessitated a hospital visit ( dog bite for example). I think a referral would have been made to SS and questions asked.

I don't expect my 14 year old DC to look after my other child as feel it is unfair- unless say for 20mins while I do to the shop (or send him) If something happened it would be unfair as the younger ones do not always listen and sometimes run off. Yes I feel this is too much.

To much with the 10 month old as well

However, I wouldn't allow anyway with kids that age playing with dogs supervised by a 14 year old. Ultimately no dog is 100% safe and predictable for kids

My other DC is ten and still would not expect the 14 year old to mind him for long! It isn't fair on the older one.