To feel overwhelmed by one year old?

[Sundancer77]

Love my Dd with all my heart obviously..but when does it start to get a little easier, if it does at all?
Probably just a bad day after no sleep, but it’s just constant 🙈 She doesn’t sleep easily so sleeps with me, even on my lap for naps through the day so I have no time whatsoever..is this normal and I just need to suck it up?
I feel like I don’t even have space to think 🤷‍♀️Dp and I rarely have chance to talk and as we have no family around, we haven’t been on our own or out etc yet.
I knew things would change but I thought they may ease a little?
Do you ever get time/space to yourself? If so..how?!

Mine were just the same at that age...they are 10 and 14 now! I just tried to go with it, put the radio on, get a wee basket with bits like a book or the tv remote and keep things simple. It does get easier. I kind of miss it now. It must be hard in the heat though.

YNBU, children are very draining! I remember when my DS was 1 and thinking the same thing. Never getting a minutes peace! It is very hard to do it without family, perhaps you could get a baby sitter for an evening and go out with DP? Or if your DD does go to sleep one evening then perhaps use the time to have dinner with DP or watch a movie, I found small things like that helped me feel a bit better about it all.
FWIW my DS is approaching 3 now and is just starting to get slightly easier, so it does happen!

It just feels so relentless at the moment..!

If you can get out it might help- put them in a buggy and go for a walk. When it cools down maybe.

DD is 15 months and despite having been through it twice before I feel the same.
Does she stay sleep if you leave her after bedtime? That's my only downtime.
My eldest DS can't understand why I forget things and I think my DH would like me to be more on top of things in the house but it's so full on

I'll say the unpopular thing - in your shoes I'd try to gently sleep train so that she sleeps ideally in a cot or at least out in a buggy. At one year old I'd suggest this needs action from you to make it happen.

Between the heat, teething and development spurts it seems to be a very needy age. We had a night without teething and the sudden freedom all evening and longer sleep (after a midnight feed) was disconcerting, but it reminded me that all this is just phases and all phases pass. If you don't desperately need to get things done try to just relax, read a book or play a game during naps. I try to devote some time each day to just gaze at DS, he's so cute when he's sleeping and there are these small changes every day, one day it'll pass and I don't want regrets. Hand over to your DH when you can and have a few hours break. It's utterly exhausting, but one day we'll miss being so needed and so cuddled.

Will she fall to sleep being walked in the pram? If so, take a short stroll with her at nap time, park sleeping toddler outside if possible or just inside front door if outside is not an option.

Then you have some free time. I'd have gone mad a long time ago if my children had been napping on me past the newborn stage, so you have my sympathy, sounds really hard!

I trained mine to nap outside in the pram from 4 months and after a little while they didn't need the walk to send them off. I just wrapped them up depending on the weather, popped them in the pram outside the back door and they dozed off.

I used to sleep train my first born, there was no sleeping in bed with me,and no nursing the baby on your lap for ages. If you keep doing these things a baby gets used to it all,and you never can get anything done in the day. Not that you have to be doing lots of things in the day,but you need a bit of time in between baby things.

My son always had an afternoon nap in his cot,for about two hours,or I spent a lot of time,walking around the village lanes with the pram,and he often slept then. I was lucky to have a child who slept well all the time, but I believe that my so called rituals with him did help.

I feel for you OP it must be tough. I find my 8 MO DD demanding enough at times but she will nap in her cot and sleeps there overnight although I do have to go in and resettle once or twice usually.

At 1 YO it’ll benefit both baby and you if you can start trying to help her settle on her own. Even just for naps to begin with. What happens if you put her down once she’s fallen asleep on you? Will she sleep when out in the pram? I sometimes take DD for a walk in the pram if I’m struggling to get her to nap then come in through the back gate and leave her snoozing outside in her pram while I sit with a cuppa, would only recommend if you have a secure back garden though and make sure you keep door open so you can keep a eye on her

Three words: Sarah Ockwell Smith

She's a bloody saint I tell you!

DS was the same. Wouldnt sleep anywhere but on or near me.
Here's what I did to finally get some time back:

White noise - worked great for his sleep and making him stay asleep

Floor bed - so if he rolled out of bed, he'd not have far to go

Video camera- to keep an eye on him.

I went from having no evenings to myself to finally having a few hours with me and OH. It is bliss. Works for his naps too.

If yours is a high needs baby like DS it might work for you too

Both of my terrible sleepers got better on their own around 2.5 - if you can wait that long!

That’s also around the time they start to get easier too ime. Maybe closer to 3.

Thanks all,

Over the last couple of weeks we seemed to be making some progress with my dp putting her in the cot in the evenings, monitor on and we’d be sat downstairs for 2-3 hours-was strange but heavenly! She woke a couple of times and he’d have to resettle, then during the night she’d wake and come to me, that was a nigh improvement.But the last couple of days she’s been waking up constantly and not going down for naps easily.
We’ve both just woken from a nap for a couple of hours, it’s so hot and I just feel out of it tbh, love my girl but really having a moment of missing my old life and old self 😏

*Big improvement

If you think 1 year olds are hard work then wait till they turn 2... Terrible twos is a real thing and I dont know if it can get any worse than that!!! :(

Great @Justme9

Do you normally like to be unsupportive @JustMe9 or is today special?

There are differences between all children, but not all sleep badly at age 2 and it's obvious you're just trying to be an irritant pretending that they do.

It'll get better.
It can be a massive shock to the system, the lack of sleep and running around all day. However, it does get better....and very soon you'll be missing baby being so small and cuddly. They grow up so fast, especially in the first few years. She'll be giving attitude soon. :)
Just try and sleep whenever you can and take plenty of vitamins. Vitamins help, they really do.
Soon, your baby will be 2 and they'll be at nursery and they'll be other kids clubs to look forward to and to tire them out.
Sometimes babies get fussy due to being too cold or hot. Teething or hungry...or sometimes, they just want a cuddle.
At her age, you're probably looking to give her fresh milk now, if still not breastfeeding. Have you changed up her milk?
I have two kids under 5. I love them to death but by God, have they've aged me. My skin is f*cked, my hair is falling out in clumps, I have permanant dark under eyes due to lack of sleep and I am still wearing my maternity leggings from 2 years ago. It's hard! BUT it gets better, especially when she'll soon be calling you mummy and giving you sloppy kisses.

I second it being a needy age. They’re not quite as portable as babies but still want to be held as much!
It will pass, OP. DS is nearly 21 months and has started to actually leave me alone to cook rather than grabbing my legs! He is getting better at entertaining himself for small periods of time.
However, the sleep isn’t much better. I can count on one hand the number of times he has slept through! I know I should say this but I’m looking forward to when he is like 3.5-4 upwards!

@Bagshot I part formula/part breastfeed so am halfway through the process of putting onto cows milk (part formula/part full fat cows milk in a bottle at the mo) by the weekend she’ll be fully on cows milk ( will still bf mainly through the night if needed) and next week will probably put milk in her sippy cup instead of bottle.
I look like total shite too 🙈I barely recognise myself anymore 😬

@Sundancer77
That could be it.
Formula milk is a lot more filling than fresh milk as it's thicker. Maybe she's a little hungrier. Either way, good luck.
Here's to looking like shite. 🤟

Everyone finds each stage different, the terrible 2s might be a breeze for you.
It will get easier, it’s bloody hot, your dd is just struggling to sleep like the rest of us.
Long term it will get easier too, they are much more independent at 2.

I've got four dc and I think that one is a really hard age.
They are still babies but with the attitude of a psychotic teenager with absolutely no fear. I've not really got any advice except it is really really hard and try and be kind to yourself. It WILL get easier.
Without sounding like a totally mumsnet nob any chance your dh/dp could take her so you can either rest or get away for a few hours?

My youngest is 3 and a half. He's still totally and utterly draining.

One is a very hard age. My ds was a poor sleeper from birth and we started to see an improvement around 2 - 2.5yrs old. He's almost 5 now and his sleep is still not perfect but compared to the 0-2 years.... I'll take it. When they start to have some words it gets a lot easier because its less guess work for you and a little less crying from them because they can explain. Hang in there op, I know it seems relentless but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you will get to it xx