AIBU to tell colleague that if you can't eat..

[Vilanelle]

without constantly scraping your plate, you should be forced to use a fucking plastic/wooden one.

That would drive me bonkers. I eat my lunch, alone, in silence when im at work and I much prefer it.
DP was scraping some leftover grains of rice into the bin last night and I nearly saw red over it!

Oh I did laugh when I read this as it is a bug bear of mine too, I really hate that painful noise. I actually think eating in public / around other people should be banned, everyone seems to be noisy eaters and I just want to rip their heads off !

My husband painfully squeaks every last morsel off his plate.

I lick mine (in private!) like a feral beast, BUT I DO IT SILENTLY.

I am seriously seeing red today (very bad day) and this isn't helping.

It's new too, he never used to do it and I am convinved he is doing it to piss me off.

People eating the pattern off their plate grips ma puddens.

I don't do unnecessary noise very well.

Reminds me of one Valentines meal. The (set menu) dessert was banoffee pie and it was a particularly good one. One guy was scraping and scraping. And scraping. And scraping. Until he looked up and realised the whole restaurant was staring at him in silence.

(I was surprised his partner hadn't stabbed him with a fork by this point)

grips ma puddens

The solution would be for banoffee pie etc eaters to be provided with plastic spatulas.

I hate it when people drag their fork along their teeth. Just why?

If he's doing it on purpose you have to do the random tuneless hum.

I've just eaten chilli and rice for my lunch, how on earth I could eat that without metal implements coming into contact with ceramic surfaces, I don't know.

I work with a bunch of scrapers. One woman usually has a glass lunch container and uses a spoon only... Clunk clank, screech scrape.

My Mum was a bit old school with manners when I was growing up, and always told me that it's rude to scrape your plate!

I hate it when my mum eats an orange though, it's so smelly and slurpy and I can't help thinking about her false teeth sloshing around it. I have to leave the room.

I get an almost full array of noises at work:

Clink Clink
Slurp
Munch munch
Lick fingers
Smack lips
Scrunch packet of crisps
Ripping supermarket snacks plastic lids open
10 minutes of scraping the bottom of the yoghurt pot

All from one person. The most judgemental, snobbish person you have ever met.

I guess I should be grateful she doesn't burp

My colleague has a yoghurt every day, and scrapes and scrapes round and round the pot until I'm sure she's digging into the plastic. I want to say 'You've finished it! It's all gone! There is NO more yoghurt!"

My otherwise lovely friend scrapes her plate like she’s getting every last atom of gold off it. I keep forgetting she does this, then we have another lovely, relaxed pub lunch, then... screech, scrape!

My office is the worst for this, it drives me insane. Everyone takes lunch at different times and the feeding scraping frenzy starts at 11 and goes through to 3pm 😣

We have a lovely cafe area in work, but hardly anyone uses it, instead they sit at their desks with stinking food, making a terrible racket.

I find it SO rude! When people are trying to work and they're there sucking noodles into their faces, scraping smelly curry/fish/chilli etc

Every single movement involves a clunk, a scrape and a bite off the cutlery 😭

Awful!!!

I can hear my neighbour smashing and scraping cutlery on ceramic when she is in the garden and I am indoors.

Add to this the crashing about unloading the dishwasher and I wonder how often they have to buy new plates.

My MIL married an animal (not FIL). We had Christmas dinner with them once and when this man finished his food, MIL brought him a teaspoon so he could spoon up as much gravy off his plate as he could, and he accompanied every spoonful with orgasmic moans. I told DH I just can't eat with him again if he's going to do that every time

People that chew with their mouths open ....

Brother in law does this relentlessly - it hacks me off so badly!!

DH does this with his cereal. Every last drop of milk must be consumed but only by scrapping his spoon into his bowl at 6am every weekday morning... our bedroom is above the dining room of course!

XH's BIL used to do this with trifle bowls at family dinners.

Scrape scrape scrape with a teaspoon getting a tiny fraction each time. And when he was finished doing that, he'd wipe the bowl round with his finger.

All of XH's family used to look indulgently at him while he did it. After gritting my teeth for years, I finally snapped and got testy with him when he did it- whereupon I was looked at as The Rude One.

Reason 542 that I'm glad I'm not married to XH any more