AIBU to tell colleague that if you can't eat..

[Vilanelle]

without constantly scraping your plate, you should be forced to use a fucking plastic/wooden one.

I was once talking to a colleague and (accidentally) belched loudly in her face

Thankfully we were mates.

We have plastic plates that we get out when MIL visits. She's constantly angry at her plates for some reason, bang, bang, scrape, scrape. It drove me mad until we got plastic plates. All others are put away when she visits so only plastic available.

If you want to consume the last bit of gravy or chilli etc the solution is some sort of bread. Or Yorkshire pudding, or veg.

You could try using humour, "If you scrape that plate any more you'll go through the table, ha ha," and see how they respond. Said with a smile it might work.

I said something similar to a colleague who stirred her coffee a zillion times and she saw the funny side.

Chewing with mouth open is a real bugbear. But I was watching RHONY recently (don't judge me!) and I noticed that Carol Radziwill does it all the time! And I thought she was the posh one (was married to a nephew of Jacqueline Kennedy and he was a Prince!)

@thecatsthecats

My husband painfully squeaks every last morsel off his plate.

If I didn't know better I'd swear we shared a husband. Mine does this and it makes me murderous.

OP, YANBU. It is a crime against humanity.

We have one in our office, noodles, ceramic bowl and a fork! We used to have a tooth sucker and a throat scratcher too shudder

People who can’t eat with their mouths closed should not eat with other people ever. At all. I don’t love the plate scraping either but the mouth noise is just so awful.

My DH manages to make scraping noises when he cuts food on his plate. Drives me absolutely nuts - if you have got through to the plate the fish finger is surely cut!

Also pings his spoon on the cereal bowl as he fishes for Cheerios.

I have issued being in the same room as him most of the time...

Oh my daughter chomps and chews incredibly loudly some almost nasal noise accompanied by dancing it drives me nuts 🤪

Or they could do what a family member of mine does - shovel everything onto their fork with their fingers (it was chilli and rice at the time) even though there was a knife, untouched, next to her plate 🤷‍♀️

Myself and colleagues have mentioned it to him a lot, in a playful way like "argh that went right through me" and laugh, he chuckles without making eye contact and continues.

Sometimes he will say sorry in a really deadpan way.

I think part of the problem is that he wears earphones during lunch so can not hear his own scraping.

I had visions earlier of grabbing his plate from in front of him and scraping it on to a plastic plate. Of course I wouldn't do this but it did help me cope.

We have a noisy crisp eater, who gleefully chomps her way, mouth open through an average of 6 packets a day.
I have to leave the room regularly otherwise I think I would beat her to death with a stapler

Why is he eating an actual meal at his desk?

Seriously - who does that?

Tell him to fuck off and eat somewhere else/anywhere else.

So glad nobody is allowed to eat at their desk where I work - I would go INSANE.

A guy sat behind me at the library today and the noises were truly horrific.... It was a like a Komodo dragon ripping apart its prey and slobbering every where! Fucking animal!.... it was sickening!

Yabu. It's only on mumsnet people are funny about other people's eating noises!

Myself and colleagues have mentioned it to him a lot, in a playful way like "argh that went right through me" and laugh, he chuckles without making eye contact and continues.

You’re being too British, I fear: straight face m, look directly at him and “Can you please stop making that racket? It’s incredibly distracting and annoying”.

Yabu. It's only on mumsnet people are funny about other people's eating noises

It really, really isn't

you are probably a loud eater and your colleagues are too polite to tell you.

My DH bites the spoon and scrapes his teeth down it whether he’s eating, so, cereal, pasta or whatever. It’s sooooo horrid

Yabu. It's only on mumsnet people are funny about other people's eating noises!

No it's not.

Yabu. It's only on mumsnet people are funny about other people's eating noises!

It's only on Mumsnet that people can't comprehend that other people have a different experience to them.

Nope, not just on MN!

DH ate an apple in bed the other night - god knows how we both survivedit should be illiegal

Unless im the one eating the apple of course

Noisy eaters give me the red rage. My OH chomps plain yoghurt so loudly I hear his teeth banging together. Each day my brain screams "shut the fuck UP" and how I've never lamped him with the chopping board is a miracle. Other than that, he's ok.