To leave an 8 and 12 year old while I pop to the shop?

[OoohOnly90CaloriesIllhave10]

I would be about 20-30 minutes.

I've just run out of washing powder and I know my 8 year old will whine about going and he constantly asks if he can just stay home with his brother (12, nearly 13).

My parents used to leave us kids. In fact we used to baby sit our baby brother while they went to the pub. But then, a lot of the stuff they did back then was questionable by today's standards.

AIBU to leave them while I popped out?

(Wtf it's not letting me do the bloody poll?!)

Yeah I went. I'd usually be stood here waiting for DS2 to put his pants on so this made life much easier.

You have to start eventually, or you'll end up having a child starting uni who has never been left alone ever!

Of course it’s OK. I don’t think you would be unreasonable to go and do some more serious shopping either, instead of just ‘popping’.

It definitely isn’t the same as leaving them to look after younger children to go to the pub in the evening!

If you can’t leave an 8 and 12 year old at home for 20 minutes, something has gone seriously wrong in your parenting

Or maybe, just maybe, one or both children have additional needs.

I can’t leave my 12 and (nearly) 8 year old alone. They both have ASD and would clash too much. I can, however, leave my 8yo with my 11yo, and my 11&12yo either together or alone.

I could probably get away with leaving my 5yo with my oldest two tbh, but I wouldn’t because she’s my shadow

Of course that's fine! Why ever not?

TBH I'd leave them at 10 and 7 for 15-20 minutes. The7 know how to call me on my mobile or get help from neighbours if needed.

I know a mum who wouldn't leave her 11 and 8 year old for a short while, she is an anxious and overbearing parent, which is rubbing off on her dc.

If I couldn't leave a 12 year old with no SEN I'd see it as a wake up call that they needed some serious life skills training to get them ready for adulthood

Or maybe, just maybe, one or both children have additional needs.

The youngest has emergency meds which both kids had to feel confident about giving before I left them.
The youngest still had a doubt before I left so I nearly didn't go. I want him to feel confident that he is safe.

I leave my 9 and just-turned 13 year old. I take the 9 year old if it’s going to be a longer trip because they fight if left to their own devices for too long.

I just make sure the back door is locked, the 13 year old has their phone nearby and that they can get out the front door of necessary.

Angrybird123 there've been books/ tracts/ essays on parenting written in English since the late 1600s, which is when parent had its first recorded useas a verb, and "illustrative" moral stories of spoiled/ overprotected children go back to the middle ages and further. Parents who had the luxury of not having to spend all their time worrying about feeding their children have thought about how best to parent for hundreds, if not thousands of years. Even Socrates had things to say about relationships between parents and children.

I would have had no problem either, if the 8yr old is sensible 30 mins is nothing .My eldest is just shy of 13 and often does not want to come if we pop out shopping for example. They have a phone , we have a brillant neighbour who said if they ever have emergency to go round to them .

Glad it went well and you've managed the shopping.

I'm about to head out to feed a friend's cat. DDs are 8&10 and I've slowly been adding the time to how long I can go out for. I'm up to about an hour but only if I'm in the same town and can get back if they call.

I set some rules. No using knives, no cooking or boiling water. Don't answer the door unless it's to 3 named people. No fighting or you'll have to come with me forever. They both practised calling my mobile (and have both called to ask me to come back at different times).

They have 2 escape points if there's a fire (neighbours I trust) or emergency, and have a plan for if I don't come home (watch a couple of episodes of a program 10-20 minute CBBC things - if my phone dies I'll be on the way home to them) and then call my friends. 999 if no-one answers or attends after another 2 programs as I'd have been out of contact for the best part of an hour by then.

My 8 year old is not sensible.

Really not.

This was the main reason why I've been questioning whether it's a good idea. Meds aside.

Child dependent

But my two - 100% yes

No. One Of mine had an accident last week, huge cut on leg.
How on earth would they have managed that?

They also do stupid things🙄

Iris1654 the older child is nearly 13. Why wouldn't they be able to deal with a cut leg?

I’m more impressed they are awake at that time! Mine seem to be able to sleep until midday in the holidays.

We have a very loud baby who makes loud baby noises when he wakes at 6am and we're in a flat (at the moment) so no one can escape it.

We're all up very early!

Yes. Mine are 10 and 9 and I nip to the corner shop occasionally. In the summer they are allowed to walk to the shop together also.

Out of interest - those who say they are happy to leave their 10 and 7 year old (or similar) are they boys or girls?

No way on gods green earth would I be able to leave my kids at that age.

But I know I was sensible at that age.

DH left our 7 and 5 year old boys for 10 minutes when he popped to the shop. They dobbed him in later

They are reasonably sensible although DS2 was a bit worried.

i have left my 7 year old for 20 minutes when he was poorly and I was doing the school run. I left my parents on skype for him and he just lay and watched TV.

I want to encourage them to be more independent. I used to be scared staying in the house by myself in the evening when I was 14/15. I don't want that for my boys.

My 12 and 8 year olds are boys. I've left any of them singly from age 7 (6 when we started building up to it by leaving them unnecessarily just going to chat outdoors within 2 minutes walking distance or walk to the postbox). From 6 they also played out and went to school without adult supervision.

From 5 they could all use the landline competently and knew which neighbors lived where and could be asked for help, what to do in a fire etc.

It's culturally normal where we live though and people look out for one another. Neighbors kids come to me if they've hurt themselves in the village playground as we're the nearest house. Neighbors expect the reciprocal arrangements of looking out for one another's kids/ pets/ in one case elderly husband with Alzheimers. Roads are very quiet etc. The emphasis in kindergarten (age 3-6) is on self care, self reliance, practical skills and independence skills not reading and writing etc etc.

School and kindergarten teachers also expect and approve of children over 6 spending short periods home alone, playing out etc.

The social worker attached to the after school club and youth club chastised a parent at a meeting I was at a few years ago for asking whether there were holiday clubs she could send her 12 year old to because she shouldn't need childcare by 12.

“No. One Of mine had an accident last week, huge cut on leg.
How on earth would they have managed that?”

More to the point- how did they manage the accident?

Bookworm

It required A&E.....no 13 year old should have to deal with that!

I would like to turn up at hospital saying I’d left them home alone to bleed! Because I went to Tesco, that’s not responsible parenting.

Yep. Without a doubt