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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave an 8 and 12 year old while I pop to the shop?

89 replies

OoohOnly90CaloriesIllhave10 · 25/07/2019 07:06

I would be about 20-30 minutes.

I've just run out of washing powder and I know my 8 year old will whine about going and he constantly asks if he can just stay home with his brother (12, nearly 13).

My parents used to leave us kids. In fact we used to baby sit our baby brother while they went to the pub. But then, a lot of the stuff they did back then was questionable by today's standards. Shock

AIBU to leave them while I popped out?

(Wtf it's not letting me do the bloody poll?!)

OP posts:
YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 25/07/2019 07:39

I think it’s fine as long as there’s no SEN and you can trust them not to fight while you’re out and to follow your rules.

littlemeitslyn · 25/07/2019 07:41

What does 'went mine' mean ?

bwydda · 25/07/2019 07:41

Mine are 8 and 10 and I'd happily leave them an hour.

AwfulMum123 · 25/07/2019 07:43

Of course it’s fine. Tell them you’re trusting them to behave sensibly and if they let you down you won’t leave them alone again - especially reinforce this to the 8 year old - which will mean lots of boring errand runs ALL summer ... A little trust goes a long way IMO.

supersop60 · 25/07/2019 07:43

littlemeitslyn - I think it should be 'sent' instead of 'went'.
OP - they'll be fine.

QuitMoaning · 25/07/2019 07:45

probstimeforanewname

“To parent” is a verb.
It is thought to come from the Latin word Parere which means bring forth.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 25/07/2019 07:45

I would have sent the 12yo to the shop.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 25/07/2019 07:46

But yes it's absolutely fine to leave them at home alone for a while at that age.

anothernotherone · 25/07/2019 07:46

Typo for sent mine perhaps? Reasonable suggestion if its a 5 or 6 minute walk, though it could be a 5 or 6 minute drive, meaning it could easily be 4 miles each way in a rural area... 12 year old could go on his bike - mine does that distance on his bike alone to friends' houses or our nearest little village shop (which in our case is almost 4 miles away) as long as it's daytime and dry weather.

Glurf · 25/07/2019 07:48

I wouldn't leave an 8 year old.
Totally fine to leave a 12 year old.

Penguincity · 25/07/2019 07:49

Absolutely, it's good for them to gain independence in a planned, safe way

anothernotherone · 25/07/2019 07:49

Parent can be a noun or a verb, like a lot of words (look, for example - I looked at her, but she gave me such a stern look in return that I looked away immediately...)

LadyBumclock · 25/07/2019 07:49

Yes mine were this age when I first started popping out to the local shop without them. As long as they know to phone you, what to do in an emergency etc.

Skinnychip · 25/07/2019 07:49

I have just started to leave my 9 and 12 year old together occassionally. They do sometimes fight, so it's the only time i encourage screens and then i know they will be oblivious to each other/the house phone/the doorbell!! I keep the 12 yo updated via whatsapp.

Yestermo · 25/07/2019 07:50

I'm leaving my 9 and 12 year old alone for 3 hours next week. They will have breakfast, play a game of monopoly, argue about who won and watch a film.

CatteStreet · 25/07/2019 07:50

Oh, good Lord, of course.

(My older two are two years apart and I have never left the older 'in charge' of the younger. I think they were 10 and very nearly 8 when I first left them for 45 min. I wouldn't in your case frame it as the 12yo being responsible for the 8yo)

MoistOwlette · 25/07/2019 07:51

Yep. I started leaving mine for a few minutes when needed at 8 and 10.

zzzzzzzx · 25/07/2019 07:51

I wouldn't hesitate. I leave my 8 year old for 15-20 minutes whilst I'm dropping off his 17 year old sister. He will be playing, watching tv, practicing piano or doing homework and I don't want to take him out unnecessarily. He does a lot of after school activities and I felt bad stopping him from doing what he was doing to take him out again so at some stage during this year I made sure we had a working mobile phone for him to use and let him stay at home.

CatteStreet · 25/07/2019 07:52

(And yes, sending them to the shop for you is another option, if in reasonable walking/safe (= off-road in the case of the 8yo) cycling distance)

GaraMedouar · 25/07/2019 07:52

OP - it’s fine.

CatteStreet · 25/07/2019 07:54

The use of 'parent' as a verb is very established - what a strange comment from a PP.

ZebrasAreBras · 25/07/2019 07:57

Yes it's fine.

I'd tell them not to answer the door at that age.

ginghamtablecloths · 25/07/2019 08:07

I think it'll be all right. Leave them strict instructions as to what to do/not do while your back is turned. Tell the older child that he is manning the fort for a short absence.

It is unlikely that they'll burn the house down if you're gone for a short time. There's a fashion for turning every little possibility into a major catastrophe these days which isn't helpful for natural worriers. Make sure your trip is short, just to be on the safe side.

IncrediblySadToo · 25/07/2019 08:08

Did you go?

Did you have an accident rendering you incapable of making sure someone knew they were home alone

Were they abducted by aliens?

Did they let a suspicious character in who burned the house down?

Or did they in fact barely notice you’d gone?!

Angrybird123 · 25/07/2019 08:16

Interesting on the 'parent' as a verb thing. It is well established but you go back a generation or two and it wasn't. You were a parent, you didn't 'do' parenting and read books on it and hand wring over getting it right or wrong and compare how you were doing it with others. And OP, I'd say its fine. I leave my 8 & 10 y/o but only for about ten mins at the moment.