To think you should be a bit more vigilant with small children?

[Cotswoldcapers]

Currently on holiday. Shared swimming pool, hot tub, etc. The pool is 6ft deep.
We are with our teens (16+) in the pool and hot tub. Nobody else there. Hot tub on raised decking and there is a prominent sign saying for 6+ only. Pool unsupervised but with large signs saying parents are expected to supervise children and non-swimmers.
We get in hot tub. Man then appears and gets in with small child. Child is clearly under 3, let alone 6. Child keeps switching off bubbles. Dad says nothing. My kids are a bit cross at this but say nothing.
After 10 minutes of no bubbles, we get out. Small child then gets out too. Dad stays in hot tub.
We are getting towels, etc. About 5 minutes later we hear dad shout ‘where are you, x?’ He is still in the hot tub. We look up to see small child starts walking round pool edge - no flotation vest, armbands, etc. Dad remains in hot tub but keeps shouting at small child ‘stay away from the edge, x’ ‘where are your armbands, x?’the child’s mum then appears and starts shouting the same sort of stuff at her child. Sits on a lounger and doesn’t move.
Child walks all the way round the very edge of the pool - god knows how child doesn’t fall in. Dad still doesn’t move from hot tub. Mum stays on her lounger.
Even my teens start getting concerned at this point and my eldest helped the child get her armbands. Dad still doesn’t move from hot tub or mum from the lounger. The child’s (teenage) brother then appears and takes child by the hand. We leave. We all say how appalled we are. I want to go back and say something to the parents. DH says it is not our business.
AIBU to think that this a young child deserves better protection and care than this? That around water you should be shouting instructions from a distance, but provide hands on care to a small child who clearly can’t swim.
(FWIW I also think I’m being unreasonable for not saying something to the parents. I wish I had.)

When you say mum was on a lounger what do you mean? Was she sitting up watching the child or laid down sunbathing or reading? How far was the lounger from the child? I could see letting a child wander around if I was actively watching them and was only a second or two away from them. I can't really pass comment until I know the exact situation tbh.

The hot tub bit is very UR however.

I think the child clearly needs strong supervision- however my 2 year old would be fine walking round the edge of a pool if I was sat on a lounger watching him closely and able to jump into the pool myself quickly to fish him out if needed. He is a good swimmer and if he fell in would be able to swim to the side and hold on.

YANBU to think a small child should be watched more closely, but YABU to think you have a right to tell someone else how to parent.
If you could see both parents and the child it can't have taken either of them more than a couple of seconds to get to the child.
Yes, would have been a nightmare if the child had fallen in the pool, but it sounds like parents were right there and could have avoided any serious incident.
Sounds more like you're annoyed that your time in the hot tub was spoiled. Which is fair. But that was the only time in this story you had a right to say something.

I’m away at the moment. Was sitting in the hotel garden. Little one no more than two came out. And wondered round the garden for over half an hour. All on her own. No fences to stop her from getting the to car park. There was a gate to the pool. But only needed a small push to get in.

Honestly she was out there for ages on her own ( I was watching what she was doing like a hawk just to Be sure.

I don’t speak the language but was just about to go and signal to someone about her when she went inside.

What’s wrong with people. I would never have left my sons side at that age.

Oh gosh, we weren’t too fussed about the hot tub bubbles. Just that the dad was disinterested in what his child was doing. She kept climbing in and out of the hot tub, switching the bubbles on and off.
Mum was lying on the lounger on her phone.
Our youngest fell in a pool when small. We were vigilant - took us about 20 seconds to jump in and fish him out - felt like forever. Years later the awful feeling of dread hasn’t left me. He was ok, thank god, but we are all too aware at how quickly things can go wrong.

Dont you watched for an hour before you decided to get help?

OP, how old was the sibling? Is there any chance they were actually the parent and the older two were the grandparents? Not that that would excuse their behaviour but would make more sense to me why they seemed to be more proactive.
Either way, it's a bit shitty. If the child fell, yes they could be rescued quickly but they would be terrified! At least my little one would be.

Sorry dont I misread. Still, you watched for half an hour?

I would be really shocked at that. We have a pool and a non-swimming 4yo. The pool has a safety cover and a fence, plus DS cannot open the gate. He knows he is only allowed through the gate if he is with an adult and wearing his arm bands. He is not allowed to stay in the pool area at all without arm bands. Why take the risk? A non-swimming child that falls in a pool will sink like a stone.

YANBU, just reading that made me feel on edge.

Yanbu! Also, I can't stand the attitude that you have no right to tell people how to parent.
I think you absolutely do have that right if it's affecting you. The father should've said something when the child kept turning off the hot tub bubbles. Also, you and your family weren't able to relax but were looking out for that child around the pool.
At a baby group yesterday, people turned up early for the next class with their toddlers. They let them run riot, which was not only annoying but also dangerous.
I've stopped going to one group because of parents who do nothing about their kids' awful behaviour.
I am not saying my son will be an angel but I will always correct his behaviour.
I hope that you can enjoy the rest of your holiday!

YANBU. My eldest once fell into a large pond when I was stood right beside him. He was out of the water within seconds but as you say it feels like a lifetime. I still get really anxious with my two around any deep water.

The thought of my toddler under water for twenty seconds without being able to swim makes me want to hurl, so I am very vigilant around water. However when she’s between 3-4 I wouldn’t expect her to just fall into a pool. It depends how far away they were, I suppose.

It looks like the child’s teen brother will be nanny while the parents shirk all responsibility.

I still can't belive how I witnessed 2 parents leave their very young children standing on their own at alton towers while they went on the smiler! 45 minute q for the ride, I sat with the children until a manager came past and explained to him what I saw, just unbelievable

Unfortunately every year kids die in unsupervised pools like the one you describe. I actually think kids under 8 should be banned from unsupervised pools unless it's a paddling pool - parents can't be trusted. I've seen far too many near misses and working for a child bereavement service we had multiple mums on our books who lost their child in a swimming "accident" that they admit was wholly preventable

It’s exactly this that stresses me out around pools. I don’t particularly want to play ‘is that playing or drowning?’when I’m trying to relax so usually have to set up camp at the adult pool. It does seem bonkers to me that some parents ‘clock out’ of parenting when they get on a plane and are quite happy to leave small children who can barely float let alone swim in massive pools!

when she’s between 3-4 I wouldn’t expect her to just fall into the pool HA! My German Shepherd dog has fallen into the pool by accident twice in the last week, luckily he can swim. What makes you think a 3-4 year old is immune to slipping, loosing her balance, being pushed by someone else, being inattentive?

It really only does take a few seconds - a glance down at a phone, for example. My son was 4 when it happened to us. DH turned his back to pick up a towel from a bag, DS got distracted and went in, fully clothed.
Admittedly, since then we’ve been hyper vigilant. Even now the kids are older we have a no mobile phone rule poolside because it only does take seconds, and drowning isn’t always noisy.

I think the child clearly needs strong supervision- however my 2 year old would be fine walking round the edge of a pool if I was sat on a lounger watching him closely and able to jump into the pool myself quickly to fish him out if needed. He is a good swimmer and if he fell in would be able to swim to the side and hold on.

Have you actually witnessed this. Because a 2 year old, is very unlikely to be a string swimmer especially if shocked and panicked by falling in the pool.

We had it at the public outdoor free paddling/wading pool. Two parents with books/clothes over their eyes on their back asleep in the shade. Their huge 10-ish year old boys jumping in the toddler pool, jumping ontop of little kids, throwing armfuls of water into peoples faces, charging through the water straight through little children, bellyflopping into the water right where the little kids were. It took strangers to tell them to stop, the parents didn't give a shit as long as they got their snooze in and ignored their own kids.

He is a good swimmer and if he fell in would be able to swim to the side and hold on

Yeah, that's what the parents on a 2 year said a couple of years ago before he drowned at the local pool. "Oh, but he was a good swimmer! We couldn't understand it!". THey fall in, choke on water in panic, and drown. Thinking your toddler would be ok is sheer lunacy.

I was on hols last week and a dad appeared at the pool with a tiny girl who was reluctant to get in. Dad got in the kiddie pool and spent a while trying to encourage her in but she just wanted to wander around the edge. I was reading/nosing, as you do, then noticed dad had his arms up on the side of the pool, head back in the sun and was asleep

Things can change very quickly and even a child pthat can swim can be vulnerable. Children under the

Posted too soon. Children around the age of 2 ate impulsive and so in my view parents shouldn't be leaving them on their own around a pool regardless. Yanbu.

Also the slipping in and bumping their heads off the side, too dangerous for wee ones not to be watched near a pool.