AIBU to think that a holiday with a toddler is not s holiday?

[shesellsseashell]

We've only been away to English seaside for a few days but I'm absolutely exhausted. Today he started the morning by trying to eat a large handful of sand, and hasn't sat down since. Non stop charging about, towards the sea, towards the rocks, chucking his ball in the sea for me to collect x 1000. Struggling to sleep away from
Home, taking ages to settle down and get to sleep. I'm utterly exhausted.

Is this what it is always like with a toddler? I thought things got easier once they started walking

I didn't bother with 'holidays' when DS was little (well, I couldn't afford them anyway.) Sometimes, if there was a camping weekend away with friends, I would either take him or insist his dad came too, but we didn't have anything like a holiday till he was about 6.

I do think, sometimes, that holidays for couples-with-kids can be pretty grim (thinking of several MN threads over the years) because the man thinks he's On Holiday and therefore the woman not only has to do all the childcare but be available for sex on tap as well...

Me and dh are desperate to go away....we really need a holiday. Ds3 is 10 months and we've decided it's not worth it. Not worth wasting the money when neither of us (according to dh but really he means me!) will be able to relax. The hell of the flight....just no. He's absolutely wild. I don't see him getting any easier as a toddler....but what I do see is my mum having him for a week while we go away! Joking of course....or am I

As long as you are realistic, don't try to recreate an adult holiday and chose your accommodation and holiday type based on your kids, holidays are still holidays. Best time of the year for me!

You just need to be prepared. I couldn't board a plane without my hand luggage, but even toddler can be fine on a flight, you know how to occupy your own kids.

YANBU, you don’t get to relax when you have a child with you. You can’t stay out late or drink either. I didn’t realise until after I had DC that I should have been treating myself to holidays while I had no kids. It’s not worth wasting money on holidays now that I’ll have to drag DC around with me, stay sober and be in my room from 8pm.

@Yogurtcoveredricecake that's my idea of a holiday with my little lady!

Can I just say, it sounds like your toddler had a great time!

I must be weird, we went to Portugal with the DCs when small youngest 12 months first time. We did go self catering, up early visited the markets for food, swimming in the pool, then lunch in the shade, then siesta time was the rule. They slept for a couple of hours we rested too. Then swimming again, out for the evening with a pushchair, then to bed.

One not so great holiday a five star hotel, adjoining rooms, the children were so tired in the evening, would not eat the food but fell asleep at the table. I had to keep yoghurts, fruit in the mini bar fridge in the room. So next time it was back to self catering.

We did go camping once with friends a disaster it rained for three days everything wet and muddy, we went home, never again..

DD has taken her dc away this week. Apparantly ds1 came running into her room this morning to say his brother (2) was missing, as the little one is an Houdini in training she went from asleep to full-blown panic. As she was charging round the caravan searching for him he crawled out from under his brother's bed grumpy and crying at being woken up!

Dd is also finding the beach a problem as when I asked her if she was having a good time her response was a terse, No, we are at the beach

We had a great holiday with DS but it's still nothing like the pre toddler holidays. We go out for one (fairly early) dinner per holiday and other than that just go for lunch and maybe early evening drinks. We also try to get at least half the week somewhere with 2 bedrooms so we all sleep better (we're on a tight budget but book well in advance and use air bnb a lot). We just potter around a bit and in Barcelona this year did fairly limited sightseeing with lots of stops for playgrounds. It can be fun but you just have to totally change the way you holiday!

The best time is when they leave home and you go on holiday without them 😊☀️

carla
I remember seeing a family with baby twins and toddler twins 18 months apart at Center Parcs! 😵
How would you even survive that!? (The parents of those children that is)

Op. No. No no no. I wouldn't dare. A trip down to our local beach used to have me frazzled when dd was a toddler.
It's still strictly day trips now she's 4.5 and I'm planning a proper holiday next year (even then it'll probably just be a caravan/Butlins type place)
My nerves just couldn't take it. She's a loon.

There is no such a thing as a holiday for the ones taking care of the kids.

Yanbu.

Dd is nearly 4 and I’ve never really enjoyed any of our holidays or found them in any way relaxing.

Really looking forward to whatever age she is when it will be fun.

Withnail. I know! They must be near the end of primary school by now

It's depends what you make it! If you fight against everything toddler's do and see everything as difficult and tiresome then it will be!

Personally I will be sad when holidays don't involve toddler's eating sand!

There is no such a thing as a holiday for the ones taking care of the kids.

Rubbish! Kids are great fun! There is nothing relaxing about my holidays, my autistic 4yo can't go into a beach without reins and needs 1:1 care constantly and my 3yo who also has special needs is 100% full on and complicated so I say this as someone with a very big job as a carer! Yet I love holidays with them, in between all the tricky bits are lovely moments! It's a wonderful thing and I wouldn't want to go on holiday without them!

It's definitely not relaxing, but it's lots of fun

I loved going on holiday when ours were younger. We took DS1 to Cyprus, and NZ, and have since been on holidays in NZ and to the Pacific Islands with both boys from an early age.

Lots of new things to see, new parks to play in, beaches to sit on and make sandcastles, real fruit icecream, walks to go on (with carrier backpacks for when small legs get tired), reefs to explore, different places to eat - definitely a holiday!

It was a break from work stress, a break from having to do any cooking or clearing up, a break from time stress and lots of fun. Once the boys were asleep in the evenings, we relaxed with wine, card games, TV, chatting, planning the next day.

I love my holidays with the children. We are all together, no rushing around getting all the jobs done. We don't do much though, just beach/pool type holiday abroad or holiday cottage in UK with day trips. It's not as relaxing as pre kids, but we take it turns to have a rest/read.

Going to try and get them to have a siesta this year so we can stay up a bit later. My kids are active but not 100 miles an hour types so flights have been manageable so far. We have only been on short flights since having the second though!

I love spending time with my son, we do a lot of stuff together during holidays but it is the relentless activity that kills me. I normally return from holidays far more tired than when we started it.

Our kids are 3 and nearly 2. We are spending our holidays in the UK for the moment. We hope to go abroad next year but will not be venturing further than Spain. Ds is fearless and runs off everywhere, he also finds it hilarious when I run after him, this then seems to give his sister the confidence to go and do the same. A day at the beach recently meant dh and I spent large parts of the day running in opposite directions after each child, not relaxing in the slightest. If it was up to me we wouldn't bother going abroad till the kids are 6,7 but dh is super keen so I might relent. Yanbu!

It was horrific when mine were toddlers. Fantastic now they're older, don't miss the toddler years at all.

It depends- i work in a stressful job, holidays with a toddler and a primary aged kid are both of mine are very active, we just tire them out - walking, swimming, cycling/balance bike.
no backstabbing, no snotty emails etc - bliss!

Oh dear God - holidays with toddlers - still have nightmares!! Hang in there - when they get to about 8yrs old ish it gets a lot easier - especially if they're competent swimmers. It's only now that ours are 11&12 that we get any sort of relaxation & that's thanks in part to whether of not the hotel has decent wifi!!!!