AIBU to find it impossible to give up smoking?

[Charlieandthechocolatecake]

Yes, this is kind of a TAAT.

I've smoked for over 15 years now. I'm 30.

The only times I've given up is when I found out I was pregnant with my 2 DS's until the day the day (literally) I stopped breastfeeding.

I breastfed for 2 years with each. I had absolutely no desire to smoke once I knew I was pregnant purely because of the effect it could have on my son's. This continued until literally the day I stopped breastfeeding them.

So in that 15 years I've had roughly 5 and a half years of no smoking.

I also quit when I found out my aunt (who was like a mum to me) had terminal lung cancer. The same day I found out, I quit. No desire to smoke at all.

Until I found out my nan (who brought me up) also had lung cancer. My aunt's diagnosis gave me an incentive but my poor nanny's diagnosis just made me start again (the day I found out). They were diagnosed within 6 months of eachother and passed away within 2 weeks of eachother at Christmas 2017.

I want to quit, I really do. It's expensive and I'll probably go the same way but I don't know how unless I keep getting pregnant which is not realistic at all.

Vapes do nothing, I've spent £100's trying. The same goes for patches, chewing gum etc.

I'm just frustrated that I can give up with a seconds notice yet start again at a seconds notice.

Where am I going wrong?

I suppose my AIBU is 'can I give up without any incentive that doesn't involve a major life event?'

This probably makes no sense but I'd like to know if it's possible and how.

Have you tried a good quality vape system rather than just the cheap pen ones you get in supermarkets and garages?

I take it you've tried Allen Carrs book?
That worked for me.

I gave up when I was pregnant after reading Allan Carr’s book - it made me see smoking in a different light. Also really didn’t want to be a smoker once I’d had kids. I haven’t had a cigarette for 18 years. Used to smoke 20+ a day.

Good luck - this is a huge thing you can do for your health and your family

You definitely haven't got the right vape or right juice strength.
I was a 60 a day smoker and they were the only thing that worked ever. I couldn't stop though until I found a flavour the same that I smoked and high strength, and a quality battery not a pencil one, then gradually reduced

Watching someone die from lung cancer is horrid. I wonder if you could draw from the same motivation that made you stop when pregnant to protect your kids from that future heart ache? My mum died at 60 from smoking related cancer (98% of people with it were smokers so it’s def caused by that!)

catgirl1976 I started on the cheaper versions and worked my way up. My last one cost me £80 or so and I still smoked as much as I did without it.

I want to be healthy. I remember my nanny smoking in her bedroom with me next to her. It was a fond memory as she always denied it later on. I miss her so much.

I think part of my issue is that I miss them both. I was so used to them being here. My nanny was 76 and my aunt was only 49.

I got champix via my GP - and attended a support weekly meeting with a nurse. It worked for me - it literally took away the desire, and then makes them taste vile. I know it’s hard, keep trying.
I have friends who have had success with hypnotherapy. Others with Carr book.

I also used the non smoking app and when you see the cigarettes not smoked / money saved / how much better it is for your heart and lungs that is very motivating.

Good luck op

I’m the same. I’ve tried literally everything incouding hypnosis and champix so am watching with interest

What strength vape juice were you using? Maybe you need a higher nicotine strength to start with? Then you can gradually reduce down.

@mamapants and @Notsureabouthis

I'm an avid reader. I love books but I've never been a fan of non-fiction. Do you think this would help. I've got to the point where I'm scared I'm not going to wake up.

Smoking is highly addictive, it’s hard to give up!

Maybe think how awful it was getting your aunts and grandmas diagnosis. Do you want your children to go through that with you?

Vape with 12mg nicotine. I never touched a cigarette since. iStick Pico is great. Steer clear of fruity vape juice. I use Zeus Juice Phoenix Tears it’s minty with a touch of lime.

@BlueSkiesLies this is the thing, I thought that by giving up when I was pregnant and breastfeeding I was doing all I could. And that was enough incentive.

I only smoke in the garden when the boys are asleep or at school/nursery. It's the summer holidays now which makes it a bit more difficult but I already know I'll make up for my lost time smoking on my breaks at work.

I feel as though nothing can stop me. Unless I fall pregnant again which is near impossible with the implant.

I quit 2 years ago on DD1’s birthday - the date made it meaningful enough to give me extra incentive to stop. I used all the nicotine replacement therapies available - patches, gum, spray, you name it. I’m still using the spray.

Good luck OP. It isn’t easy but it’s worth it. YOU’RE worth it.

I too stopped when I got pregnant, started again the day I stopped BF. I’d quit various times before for different lengths of time. Previously the longest I’d quit for was 3 years using Champix. I always end up starting again. I’m not even sure it’s addiction, because of the lengths of time I’ve not smoked for. I think it’s just a crutch that I convince myself helps me to cope with situations I don’t like.

I had hypnosis last Friday, dd is 6 months now and I want to stop before she knows. The hypnosis went into the reasons I smoke, so I’m hoping I won’t feel I need to do it to cope anymore.

Should add, it’s day 5 and I actually feel fine. No cravings, just an odd feeling like I’ve forgotten something every now and then.

I haven't smoked since 2012. When I had my first personal training session and I thought I was going to die due to not being able to breath. I moved over to a Vape and stuck with that until I found out I was pregnant and instantly stopped using it. I breastfed for 14 months and the week after our last feed I charged up the old vape. I am so disappointed as I know I don't need it but I enjoy it. It's a rubbish excuse but it's my only vice and it's a great excuse to leave the house or go outside.

I have no advice other than I can somewhat relate to your problem and I hope you manage to find a solution that works for you.

I think part of it is my son's knowing I don't smoke...they always say 'whats that horrible smell?' or 'whats burning mummy!?' when were our and about.

I have just bought Alan Carrs book. I hope it helps. My eldest has just this weekend gone turned 7 and it gives me anxiety that one day soon he'll know of his mummy's disgusting habit.

Another thing that doesn't help is that I'm extremely critical (in my head alone) of those that smoke in the street/outside restaurants/in their homes/next to their children.

I'm a bloody hypocrite.

No point vaping if you’re smoking at the same time. We wanted a fab (expensive) holiday so went onto vaping. Silly DH still vapes but I completely gave up after about 4 months vaping.
I have recently been diagnosed with Coronary Artery Disease and they say the smoking was the biggest contributor.

Hypnotherapy - easiest thing I've ever done!

Yes Allan Carr is brilliant. Please give it a shot. You are young enough to recover from this but if you keep smoking you will do permanent damage 😘

Tried everything over about 40 years to no effect. I got another chest infection. Still craving a fag. Cough cough cough. Lit one, took one drag. Cough cough cough. Suddenly felt - knew - if I took another I'd drop dead on the spot. Binned it. Haven't smoked since and feel quite sick if I see people smoking on tv or film. Weird and I can't explain it. 12 years on.

Along with an aid (like a vape) I think you just need to give yourself a hard deadline in the future and stick to it. Either cut down a little each month until the date arrives, or throw caution to the wind and go cold turkey on that date.

My OH did this, and was a smoker for longer than you. He has an addictive personality as well and doesn't do change well so I am extremely impressed that he stuck to his guns and has not continued to smoke.

He still craves a cigarette, and that will never go away for him and nothing will fill that void, but he places something else as more important than giving in. For us, it was starting a family. For you, it should be focused on your kids (second hand smoke on your clothes etc) and wanting to put yourself in the best health you can so you don't leave this earth too early and leave them alone.

I gave up after 18 years or so on the first of feb this year. It was HARD. Things I did-

1. There is a stop smoking sub here, I read every single thread (some of them twice)
2. I took 8 days of champix (should have been a 3 month course but I stopped after a week as I didn’t like them - I do think they took the edge off the first week though)
3. I recognized that I was trying to break a nicotine addiction, not just ‘giving up smoking’ and I was kind to myself.
4. I booked the first 3 days off work and slept a lot!
5. Took the DC to the cinema on day 3,
6. Spent the first week of fag money on art supplies and did crafts with my 6yr old (she loved it and it kept me occupied)
7. Saved the next 50days worth of money and had a tattoo that I’d always wanted but couldn’t afford.
8. Downloaded a stop smoking app and obsessed almost every hour over watching the ticket on the lung function and hours since last cigarette change.
9. Completely changed my routine where I would normally smoke, drove a different way to work, took lunch and ate at my desk, parked in a different spot and left work via a different exit.

10. Told everyone I knew so that they wouldn’t offer me one and I couldn’t slip up I front of them. 11. My mantra has been N.O.P.E Not One Puff Ever - I know that even one cig will drag me back down very quickly.

I never thought I would give up, and like you had only ever been able to stop for pregnancies.
I would recommend going to the gp for smoking cessation advice as a first step.