AIBU to find it impossible to give up smoking?

[Charlieandthechocolatecake]

Yes, this is kind of a TAAT.

I've smoked for over 15 years now. I'm 30.

The only times I've given up is when I found out I was pregnant with my 2 DS's until the day the day (literally) I stopped breastfeeding.

I breastfed for 2 years with each. I had absolutely no desire to smoke once I knew I was pregnant purely because of the effect it could have on my son's. This continued until literally the day I stopped breastfeeding them.

So in that 15 years I've had roughly 5 and a half years of no smoking.

I also quit when I found out my aunt (who was like a mum to me) had terminal lung cancer. The same day I found out, I quit. No desire to smoke at all.

Until I found out my nan (who brought me up) also had lung cancer. My aunt's diagnosis gave me an incentive but my poor nanny's diagnosis just made me start again (the day I found out). They were diagnosed within 6 months of eachother and passed away within 2 weeks of eachother at Christmas 2017.

I want to quit, I really do. It's expensive and I'll probably go the same way but I don't know how unless I keep getting pregnant which is not realistic at all.

Vapes do nothing, I've spent £100's trying. The same goes for patches, chewing gum etc.

I'm just frustrated that I can give up with a seconds notice yet start again at a seconds notice.

Where am I going wrong?

I suppose my AIBU is 'can I give up without any incentive that doesn't involve a major life event?'

This probably makes no sense but I'd like to know if it's possible and how.

Allan Carr is great.

I had forgotten about the NHS Stop Smoking app, it was really good too.

Yes charlie I'd definitely recommend it. I'm not a non fiction reader either but it's not a book you read for enjoyment but I found it really changes the way you think about smoking so you no longer feel as though you are depriving yourself of something. Made all the difference for me.

I was a professional giver up of smoking. Go through all the pain. Then start again a few months later. I eventually stopped when I was 47. Always say I will start again when I’m 70.

Only 10 years to go.

Another vote here for Allen Carr. I smoked for 30 years. I didn't use patches or vape or anything else.
I haven't smoked for over 10 years

You should honestly try IQOS, you can request a free trial. Almost all people that try for a week quit smoking and use iqos instead. It's much safer than smoking & cheaper, but you get the same effect.
uk.iqos.com

Another huge fan for Allen Carr - and I was a heavy smoker for over 40 years and tried everything else so many times. Know several people that I suggested it to since that report it has worked for them too.

@Charlieandthechocolatecake let us know how you get on! 🤞😊

I used vapes to enable me to quit. I began by not taking cigarettes out with me only my vape whether it was just shopping or a full day out. It wasn't long before I quit entirely. I have been quit 4-5 months now. I still have my vape but no nicotine.

You will only give up when you are truly ready to give up. I had been smoking 16 years before i finally had enough and no longer enjoyed it. I hated the smell, the taste and how much it was costing me! Vapes do not work, nor do patches/chewing gums etc and i think they are pointless anyway, you're still putting nicotine into your body! Go to the doctor and ask to be put on Champix, they are tablets and believe me they work amazingly! I gave up on them after 16 years of smoking, so did my mother after 25 years of smoking and my aunt after 20 years of smoking. I haven't had a fag since September 2017 and i would never go back!

I have up after yes another horrible chest infection . It was SO bad I realised I had to stop . I now use e cigarettes and prefer them to cigarettes actually . I get the mouth , inhalation feel and the hand habit

It can be done but I think you have to hate hate smoking to stop

I gave up 4 years ago, I stuck to the patches and the mints. If you stick to it, it works. You need will power more than any aid. That's what you need to remember.

It sounds like you have no issue giving up - the issue is not going back to it.

I yo-yo'd for years, giving up was easy but I'd always find a reason to go back to it.

I had to shift mentally in my mind and tell myself I was an ex smoker. That I hated the smell, action, cost and health implications of smoking.

I changed all my habits, too. I got up earlier, changed my routine around, so I wasn't automatically 'missing' my cigarette break at 11am for example - and in the evenings to distract myself I learnt how to cook and bake. I got really into nutrition and lost a significant amount of weight - all kick-started by deciding I was now a healthy ex smoker.

It's been 12 years and I've never looked back!

I would say though if your reasons for smoking are emotional, then get as much support as possible. Lots of great advice on the thread.

Can anyone explain why Alan Carr’s book is so successful? What does he actually write about? How does it work?

YANBU it's like heroin.
I tried to give up about 100 times and failed then one day decided just to go cold turkey. I made it but it was absolute hell.
It helps to have no substitutes, no vapping nothing. Just go stone cold and stay away from other smokers.
I haven't smoked for 20 years now but I know if I had just one that would be it.

Allen Carr book is good, but what worked for me was hypnosis. I smoked for 20 years and just...stopped. It's still hard, still get cravings sometimes, but it's never even crossed my mind to go and get some cigarettes. It's like a switch has gone off in my brain. I'm convinced it was the hypnosis that did it. You do have to really really want to quit though.

nosauce it helps because it makes you realise that you aren't losing something by quitting smoking, you aren't giving something up that benefits you in anyway. It's very repetitive and brainwashy but it works for a huge amount of people. It changes your perspective from seeing it as something difficult that requires willpower.

Yet another vote for Allan Carr, I’m happy to post you my copy!
You’ve done the hard part of deciding to stop. The AC book is about accepting that you aren’t actually missing out on anything by stopping. It’s the only book which has changed my life.

My mum gave up a week after my dad died (unexpectedly). She'd been smoking for 50+ years and spoke about giving up all the time. I bought her a vape (I vape too) and she hasn't looked back. In fact she vapes so little. The 10 bottles of juice I got her in February and she's only just down to the last two.

I don't know if it was the increase in cigarettes she smoked in the week after my dads death or if it triggered something in here to want to (at least) try to live longer.

I think you do really have to set your mind to it and just do it.

When I first gave up some 6 years ago, I did used to smoke when on holiday abroad. Something about a beer in the sun and a cigarette! Stopped before we boarded the plane home and when I vaped I found it stronger than cigarettes.

Haven't done that for the past 4 years.

You can do this!

What works for me Op (6 years off them) is that every time I wanted one I thought to myself that just one cigarette and I would be a smoker again.

I know myself that if I ever have even one puff of a cigarette then I will be addicted again and so I never let myself have one.

Yet another vote for Allen Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking.

I'm an avid fiction reader too and never read any non-fiction, but so many people recommended this to me that I decided to give it a go and it's just so straightforward and sensible, it completely changes your mindset and makes stopping (you'll eventually agree that you're not 'giving anything up') smoking easy - honestly!

My DDs were 4 & 6 and had started to ask "What's that smell?" when I'd had a cigarette (obviously I never smoked around them). One evening, I was having a cigarette on the patio outside, an hour after they'd gone to bed, when there was a tapping on the glass and my 6 year old said "Is there a fire?" and I had to lie and tell her our neighbours we're having a BBQ...

Then, 6 years ago I was diagnosed with Pulmonary Emboli (blood clots in my lungs). It was such an unlikely thing in an otherwise fit and healthy young woman, that it took 3 months (& 12 visits to my - admittedly shitty - GP and eventually turning up to A&E saying "I feel like I'm about to die") to be diagnosed, by which stage I was SO breathless I could only walk up 2 stairs at a time and the mere thought of smoking was abhorrent. However, once I was recovered and out of hospital, I was desperate to have a cigarette, but everyone kept saying to me "You've done 10 days, just keep going!"

Obviously, I went and bought a packet of fags, but also bought the Allen Carr book and finished the book before the cigarettes and the rest of the packet went in the bin!

I've lent the book to several people since (in fact, I eventually donated it to my GP Surgery for them to lend out to people) so hopefully it's helped lots of people to stop!

Good luck OP, I really believe you can do this!

To everyone saying Allan Carr can you tell me the name of the book please...

I somehow don't think your all talking about the comedian? 🤔

It's Allen Carr's Easy Way to stop smoking. With an E in Allen unlike the comedian.

So did you still feel addicted after 9 months of pregnancy and 2 years of bf? Interested as I gave up smoking the day I found out I was pregnant, couldnt do it before and now I'm hoping it sticks!

I was hoping the craving would go away after being pregnant?

I just started again after 17 years of not smoking! That was two months ago and I'm as addicted as I was before. So cross with myself

I'm going to look for the Allen Carr book, thank you for the recommendations