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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say "No" to unsupervised camping trip for 13 year old?

38 replies

NameChangerAmI · 23/07/2019 14:40

13 year old DC has asked permission to go camping with his friends, in a farmer's field. It seems the plan is to set up camp without permission from the farmer, under the cover of darkness.

Other parents have said yes. AIBU to say no? I have said no, but DC is making me feel like the worst parent in the world, and the ONLY one who has said no (thought I doubt I am actually the only one.)

WWYD?

OP posts:
Zippyx · 23/07/2019 14:42

I would say no and provide DS with a suitable excuse that isn't "my mum said no."

YANBU.

ColaFreezePop · 23/07/2019 14:43

Without permission from the farmer?

Are they crazy?

LauraMipsum · 23/07/2019 14:43

I would say yes to a 13 year old going camping, but not in a farmer's field without permission.

Can you encourage them to go to an actual campsite? There are plenty of sites which aren't all manicured and caravans and are much more 'wild' feeling.

lmusic87 · 23/07/2019 14:43

I wouldn't like this, but it is sad that I feel this way because back in the day kids did that all the time.

Celebelly · 23/07/2019 14:44

YANBU. It's a shitty thing to do if they don't have the farmer's permission to camp on his land. They have no idea if the land is being used for crops, if their being there will disturb the soil, if rubbish gets left. What if the farmer sees them and calls police? Etc.

Surprised the other parents don't seem bothered - although have you actually spoken to them? They might not have the full story.

notatwork · 23/07/2019 14:45

I'd be finding them some common land that they are actually allowed to camp on and letting him go.

Ijustwanttoretire · 23/07/2019 14:46

LOL I remember it well, the 'but you're the only ones saying no!' yeah right.

Bezalelle · 23/07/2019 14:50

They'll get theirselves shot, so they will.

Nextphonewontbesamsung · 23/07/2019 14:51

Yanbu! Of course it's not alright. A group of 13 year old boys unsupervised is not alright for camping on a proper site either, imo.

PrayingandHoping · 23/07/2019 14:59

Outrageous!!! Do not let them go! Farmers aren't stupid.... if they are found they will be in a load of trouble!

Sicleae · 23/07/2019 15:00

Yanbu, I'd tell the farmer of the plans too if you know where they're planning to do it and can work out who owns it.
I'd be furious if I found a bunch of teens camping on my fields and found out the parents had approved it, as other posters have said, they won't know what the fields are being used for, I'd really doubt they'd leave no trace and I'd be worried about open fires.

Hearthside · 23/07/2019 15:01

Yanbu op .I live in the countryside and most farmers round here would be most unimpressed with people camping on their field without permission. Bezalelle quite possibly , crime is quite high in the countryside so highly likely a farmer may well come out with a gun if he thinks they have intruders. They may have planted crops etc .The parents who agreed if they agreed are mad if they did .

KendalMint · 23/07/2019 15:02

YANBU. What if the farmer has put his bull in that field? Under 'cover of darkness' they will never know until things go pear shaped.

Even cows can be dangerous so their entire plan is utter madness.

AryaStarkWolf · 23/07/2019 15:04

I would contact some of the other parents to see how true it is that they all said Yes besides you...........

YANBU

SilentAlarm · 23/07/2019 15:09

When I was a teenager camp outs were basically so we could get drunk without our parents knowing, so I would say YANBU to say no.

Original poster
NameChangerAmI · 23/07/2019 15:16

I'm not in contact with the other parents, unfortunately, as I don't know his friends or their parents.

We have said DS can sleep in one of our fields with his mates, but apparently he doesn't want to be hanging around here as it's not cool enough and he would be embarrassed. Those weren't his words, but I can read between the lines!

There aren't any bulls around here, but I get the point completely. You just can't predict what would happen - another group of youths could turn up and cause a fight, the farmer could turn up and get nasty or call the police, crops ruined. And whoever mentioned fires - I thought that too, especially in this heat.

Thanks everyone. It helps to know that I'm not just being a mean kill joy of a mum, but am just being a decent parent!

OP posts:
Chunkers · 23/07/2019 15:18

KendalMint I think you meant ‘Udder Madness’?

overnightangel · 23/07/2019 15:21

“m not in contact with the other parents, unfortunately, as I don't know his friends or their parents“

So you have no proof the other parents have agreed, in other words.
Sounds like your son is feeding you a load of BS so he can go and all the other kids are probably using the same line to their parents

TwistyTop · 23/07/2019 15:22

This is definitely not ok. Why does it need to be on a farmer's land? They will probably get caught and get into serious shit, and even the farmer doesn't catch them, imagine the damage that they could do (even if they are "well behaved" they could well still do unintentional damage).

Are you sure that the other parents know they will be trespassing on a farmer's land?

BertrandRussell · 23/07/2019 15:23

No. Because of the no permission. Could you talk to the farmer?

MrsBlondie · 23/07/2019 15:24

No way, as a mum of a 13 year old boy too.

Can you not find the parents on FB and message? We have a FB message group even though I don't actually know any of them personally!

BertrandRussell · 23/07/2019 15:24

They won’t be able to go an a campsite without an adult at that age.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/07/2019 15:47

Should you allow your 13 year olds to go camping unsupervised on a farm without the farmers permission. In the middle of God knows where.
Aside from Dumbo can elephants fly.

Are you absolutly certain that all the other parents have said "yes".
I mean we've all tried that one. " Oh but so and so's mum is letting her go., because. If they have said "yes". to it
They must need their bumps feeling.

munemema · 23/07/2019 15:51

I think it's highly unlikely that the other parents have all agreed and that the offer of camping on your land will be gratefully received once they all have to admit that none of them are allowed to go.

RingtheBells · 23/07/2019 15:54

DS used to camp in random fields but he was about 16 not 13. No way at 13

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