AIBU to think she’s rude

[Imawomanontheedge]

Went out for a family meal about 10 of us.
DH niece sat opposite myself and DD . Niece turns to her own DH and asks “ Do I really have to be nice as I’ve had to be nice all day at work? “ WTF

Well without context it could of been a joke?

Weebitawks
No it wasn’t a joke it was said in all seriousness. I don’t think she thought we’d heard what she’d said .

How old was the niece?
Do you not get on ?

Well why would she not have been nice?
Do you have issues?

That’s very odd. If it was just an aside to her husband I would be inclined to think it was meant in jest, even if the tone seemed serious. Was she then nice, or rude? How did he respond?

I'd say it was banter between a couple.

When out with the family, after going the toilet etc between courses, we often say things like 'round two'.

'Be nice' between us is a bit of banter.

It's the kind of thing I'd say, intending it to be quiet but not realising the whole group can hear.

Family events are generally full of people being nice to each other for the sake of it.

I'd say it was banter between a couple.

Of course it was. How on earth is a private joke rude? Listening in on people and posting it on the internet is rude.

It was private joke you over heard.

Was she actually rude in any way?

This is weird. It’s obviously a tongue-in-cheek sarcastic comment.

Was she actually rude to anyone?

It sounds as if she had a long day in work and felt a bit wrung out, tired and grumpy. She made a flippant sarcastic comment to her husband that she intended to be private.

I'm sure if she really disliked you all then she would go no contact and decline invites to family meals.

Yes, YABU. You overheard a private conversation between a couple and have no idea of the context those couple of sentences were meant in.

Could it be more about being chatty and lively and engaged, rather than just sitting quietly, staring into space and decompressing from being permanently "on" at work.

You didn't understand the context to that comment, no need to think she's being rude because of it. Don't blame her for saying that comment when in the company of someone rather sensitive.

Defo need more details!

If I was sure that she meant it, I'd have shown her my well rehearsed death stare. .

YABU

AllFourOfThem
She was actually overly nice towards me a trait which she has told us is the way she deals with people who she doesn’t like.

As for listening to their conversation I wasn’t to the conversation I over heard what she said since she was only across the table from me.

mehhhh
I’m not an over sensitive person but she has said that when she doesn’t like someone she overly nice to them and she has even said other people in her office has noticed it too. That night she was sickly nice .

I don’t understand. The choice is a) her pretending to be nice or b) expressing how she really feels ie she doesn’t like you.
Do you actually think b) would be better..

Her husband replied “it’s only a couple of hours with them”

Nothingcomesforfree
I know she doesn’t like me it’s very obvious from her body language and the way she acts round me . Rather have her expressing she doesn’t like me tbh .

She sounds delightful! I'd forget about it and back off from having anything to do with her. Given her feelings I doubt she'll mind.

I think you're rude tbh, it sounds like you have a problem with her beyond that evening.

I'm sure you know from your own life that we're not always going to get on with families or in-laws, but it sounds like she was knackered and making an effort. Going to any kind of family occasion after work (even if you truly love everyone) can be quite full on, so I think she did pretty well tbh. Haven't you ever had to pretend to be in the party mood?

I'd be overly nice right back.