Can’t stop worrying about DD weight

[Napqueen1234]

Advice please. DD is and always has been 91st centile +. Now 2 and easily 37lb+. Super active, healthy home cooked food, treats v occasional but not often at all. Doesn’t have pudding at nursery has fruit instead. There’s not an awful lot I can do to help decrease her weight. Trouble is she’s gone from cute chubby baby to gorgeous but quite chubby toddler and I worry I’m setting her up for health issues. Anyone in a similar position that resolved itself? When I say active she walk/runs everywhere park at least daily + other activities, in nursery which is v active full time. I just notice she is considerably bigger than other children her age and it causes me no end of worry.

Oh my goodness I could have written this. Mine is 2 years 5 months but other than that exactly the same! Lots of running around, very active, healthy home cooked food and limited sugary treats, only drinks water- but still a chubby little girl! HV isn’t too concerned - at her 2 year check she said while she’s heavy she doesn’t look overweight. But I am worried about setting her up for life etc too. What I have done:

• really critical look at her portion sizes
• got rest of family on board (PiLs who do regular child care used to rely on snacks to get her out of tantrums/far too much fruit -“but fruit is healthy!” etc- so I had a word about portions and they’re on board
• trying not to worry too much as she is tall (around 80th) and my DHs family are all tall so I suspect she’ll have a similar build to them.

It’s hard as I was a larger child (for the 90s). I’m small now but I don’t want her to go through what I did at school!

My own mother fed me massive portion sizes (still does!) so I do tend to give too large portions unless I actively think and measure out etc so I am just religious about that now, good for me too trying to lose baby weight tbh!

I worked out my DS’s BMI when he had just turned 2 and he was around 90th percentile which put him just into the overweight category. Looking back at photos he was chunky. I started watching portion sizes, asked nursery not to give him seconds, cut down on snacks etc. However between 2 and 3 he just grew so much and became so much more active that he naturally slimmed out. I worked out his BMI every so often and he gradually dropped through the percentiles until now at nearly 3.5 he’s stayed around the 50th percentile for a good while.

So yeah, keep an eye on it but you may find she naturally slims out as she grows.

Our son was born on the 98th percentile for weight and 98th for height. He continued to follow the same percentile until around a year where he has dropped to the 50th percentile. I was concerned due to teething, being poorly his appetite had decreased, spoke to drs too. He is now eating much better ( would manage half a piece of toast for brekkie) but is an active little boy and has a very tall and skinny dad who I expect he will be like.

You sound like you are doing everything correctly, some kids do just have bigger frames and as pp have said she may well change as she gets older. They go through so many phases. Enjoy your chubby little one for who she is!

My Ds has ALWAYS been 100 centile for height, and about 98 for weight. He is 14 now and about 5'9'' tall, and size 10 feet. He has always been big built. I used to worry, but some kids are naturally stocky.

@songforsal 100th centile isn't really a thing - it would mean they were the tallest child in the country (also that height puts your DS at 91st which is still pretty tall).

OP - if they're following the same percentile then it shouldn't be an issue but maybe re-evaluate when she's about 3.5-4. By that age she will likely have naturally thinned out.

I have the opposite issue. DS has always been between 91st and 98th for height, but only 50th for weight. It used to really worry me but the HV explained that they don't worry unless they jump about percentiles and he's just following his own curve. Plus there's clearly no issues with him getting enough nutrition given the rate he's growing upwards. Tempting to try and fatten him up though...

I have 2 grandsons 2 months apart. I saw them both this weekend, they're about a cm different in height but the elder one is a lot lighter than the younger. I did a rough check on their shoulders and the younger one was a lot broader. Both of them have their ribs visible so neither is overweight they just have different builds. The problem is that children's weight charts don't take build into consideration.

My two were both absolute chubbsters up until 4 when they started shooting up and slimming out. No change in diet or activeness. She is still so young, stop worrying

My now 2.5 year old was there, but is now at a healthy weight.
we did
-portion control. he gets as many veggies as he wants, but everything else he gets a portion (child sized!). there are guides on the internet on what a child sized portion is, and how many they should be getting

• no juice etc
• milk is food, not a drink. he hets a portion for lunch and dinner
• treats are home made ice lollys or jelly (fruit has a lot of sugar - he gets it, but in moderation)
• no more buggy. he walks or gets carried (so i realise when its too long!)
• a lot of outdoor exercise in the weekend. several hours every day playground, park etc

Have you seen the NHS BMI calculator?
www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-weight/bmi-calculator/

It’s a really good tool because it differentiates between adults and children, as well as taking into account exact age and sex. If your child comes out as obese on this calculator (which, I completely understand is an awful thing to see) she should see a GP for a medical opinion. Children in this weight category sometime soon have a medical reason behind their weight gain(which, I completely understand, is a scary thing to hear). Not all children will have a medical reason behind their weight gain, but when they do, it’s best to diagnose and treat them early.

It is also important to be aware of her height, not only weight have to be considered with height, but also height over the 97th centile is another trigger for a doctor’s visit - again, this is a statistical screening tool, not a diagnosis.

I could have written this 7/8 years ago - I really worried about DD’s weight. MIL told me that was how people in her family were and she would grow out of it but MIL also serves MASSIVE portions of delicious food and FIL disapproves of leftovers so I was a bit cynical. Anyway - she was right. At some point between 3 and 8 she just (in the words of our lovely CM) sort of stretched. She is a healthy BMI now (at 2 she was obese on the NHS BMI calculator and that made me so unhappy because she had a ridiculously healthy diet and I had a bookmarked page online about exactly how big portions for a 2 year old should be). That said she will always be the high side of a healthy BMI I think, she looks very solid, while DD2 has legs like twigs.

Thank you so much for all your info and advice and stories. I will keen an eye on portions, consider how much fruit she’s having and consider lower sugar options and have a chat to the HV. Will try to remember to update what they say! Thanks again really appreciate it. Hope I’m you in 8 years @Longtalljosie !

First off your doing amazing with your baby sounds like you are doing well with good healthy food, my little girl is a bad eater she will be 2 in November and I just keep trying things. My little girl is tall but was born at 4lb 7oz. I would say just continue what you are doing if you are worried a food diary is such a good idea and activities. And speak to health visitor when you see them.

But remember children are so different so many factors. Just keep doing what you are doing and don't fret too much x

My boy was very chubby as a toddler and as a child and i mean very chubby he ate healthily though very rarely ate chocolate or cakes crisps. When he was 12 he was very short and over weight he was very active loved football and swimming so i couldn't quite figure out why he was so big but suddenly he shot up it seemed over night and he is now almost 16 very slim and is 6 foot 2

My daughter was 98th centile height and 8lb 8 at birth. A little chunky as a child, not overweight though. Very active, dancing, sport, at about 11 very lean and athletic, and at 21 is now a size 6-8, eats well and very healthily (never any problems with veg - her favourite food is asparagus and has been since childhood!) I really wouldn't worry at this stage.

Could it be an hereditary thing? (Sorry not being rude) ds 5 is 16th centile but I'm tall and was skinny as a child,dh slim too.Just wondered if any other children in your family were larger than average

@ChihuahuaMummy1 not at all we have all been average sized kids! My MIL is VERY obese but only since adulthood (I think one of my fears if she is headed for this but it’s completely lifestyle related so I can’t see how it would but worries me!). Me and DH were v average children although he was a chubby older child and teen (due to his mum and poor diet) since leaving home is a healthy sized adult

I really wouldn’t worry too much. I have twin boys who are 3.5, very active, healthy diet, although they are good eaters, and in the last year they have got much leaner. However, I will say that they are still bigger than their peers. They are tall and sturdier, if that makes sense. They aren’t overweight - health professionals have confirmed that - but they have a sturdier build than others. I spent a lot of time when they were younger worrying that they were too big. Now I have a seven month old girl who is on the 91st centipede, exclusively breastfed, probably not quite as chunky as her brothers were but still bigger than her peers. This time I feel much more comfortable about it because I know it’s just the way she is. She’s likely to slim out in a couple of years, although might have a sturdier build just like her brothers do. People come in different shapes and sizes. Keep offering healthy foods, keep her active, and teach her how amazing her body it is for all the great things it can do, not for how it looks.

My toddlers were chunky but now they're beanpoles... Is she eating enough vegetables? If yes ... plus everything else you've said just keep a relaxed eye on her weight and see your GP if you're concerned...

They slimmed down age about 7...

@Napqueen you're doing everything right dont feel bad

Keep an eye on portion sizes. Smaller plates and bowls are helpful if this is an issue.

She's reaching the age where young children do start stretching out from the cute chubby baby/ toddler look and getting leaner for that lean twiggy look around 4-5 when they start school.

A child can grow upwards yet remain the same weight for a surprisingly long time, so keep an eye on her height growing.

I completely understand your concern - it's hard to know whether they are just chubby toddlers and will grow out of it or actually "fat". I have a similar problem with my son (almost 2), who is in the normal range (weight-height ratio), but only just, which was a shock to me, because I think he looks quite average. He also loves eating and, unfortunately, doesn't know when he's full (or at least won't stop eating when full).

Apart from the tips you've already been given: You should certainly measure her height as well, the weight alone means nothing! If she doesn't stand still, measure her lying down - you can place her with her head against a wall/door/anything, stretch out her leg, make a mark on the floor where her heel is and then measure.

Usually children know when they are full and will stop eating, so if you have a healthy child and she got food, when she was hungry and has never been forced or pressured into eating more, you don't need to be too concerned about portion sizes (at least when it's healthy food), as she'll only eat as much as she needs.

Just a quick update- managed to get DDs height today at around 87/88cm so 50th centile. Used nhs bmi calculator and she’s coming out at over 99th centile height to weight so ‘very overweight’. Spent a bit of time crying now pulling myself together and had a talk with DH. He’s very much ‘she doesn’t look fat, she eats so well and is active’ etc but I feel he’s in denial a bit. Have decided to swap some of her fruit snacks for veg (eg post nursery grapes for cherry tomatoes etc.) and really watch her portion sizes. Anything else you would recommend? I feel so upset I feel I’ve failed my poor little girl already

You can get some good visuals on portion size for her age from various internet resources. I got a book from my HV as my youngest was an absolute behemoth at 2. She was huge and I couldn't work out why - wasn't over fed, healthy diet, very active. No idea to this day why she was so chunky. All I can say is that now at 3.5 she has lengethened and de-chunked and is now very lean. Interestingly she's noticeably quite muscular though so I wonder if her shape just is what it is and she's always going to be a bit of a sturdy bird. I think all you can do is make sure they eat well, watch portions and encourage loads of activity.