to be annoyed with my mum for trying to get someone to give me a job that she must know I could not do ?

[nutcracker]

I probably am being a bit unreasonable, as I am sure she is only trying to help but even so.

This bloke that she knows is a salesman and he has said that I can do some cold calling for him from home. I'd get paid £5 for every appointment I secured and then £25 for every sale that he got from it.

This is absolutly the wrong job for me. I get stressed and nervy ringing unknown people for anything, nevermind people who I would be supposed to sell something to, i'd absolutly hate it. I am such a shy and nevry person lately, i'd end up in tears by the end of the first day, and I'd have thought my mum knew me well enough to know this.

I think I am kind of irked that she thinks I am not capable of getting a job myself too. I am trying so hard to find something, and getting so many knock backs from jobs I know I could do that it is sending my self confidence even lower.

Yes I need the money, but there is just no way I can do it.

I think YABU, sorry. Sounds to me like she was trying to help you out, and perhaps show you that she thinks you are capable of a lot more than you give yourself credit for.

If he's going to pay your phone bill as well I'd say you have nothing to lose by trying but if he's not going to pay your phone bill you could end up paying a fortune and earning nothing... IYKWIM..

YANBU. I feel the same about telephone calls - ironically I'd be better face to face. My mum used to do this type of thing - thankfully she realises I'm a grown-up now I have dcs. I hate having to dwell on the things I can't do and would much rather think about my capabilities - I really feel for you. And even the toughest people must find cold call sales a demoralising job a lot of the time.

Btw what type of job are you after?

Yes but this might be a fear you could do with challenging. this might be an opportunity for you to grow as a person. Maybe you should try it.

That said I would rather clean toilets than cold call. Not because I am scared of it but because I fundamentally disagree with the concept of hassling people into buying stuff they don't want or need.

sometimes well meaning people say or do the wrong thing. it doesnt mean your mum meant any harm...she may even have thought she could help you with your confidence being that the job was over the phone.

dont be too hard on her. why dont you try it for a set time? you never know, it might be a turning point for you.

Maybe your mum knows you find this difficult and thought she could help you overcome your difficulties by facing this challenge head on.

However, I don't recommend it - sounds as though the income would not be secure, so you'd be better off with a reguar income from a different job if you can bear to persevere a bit longer with the job-hunting.

I also wouldn't do cold-calling on principle, but it's a personal thing.

YANBU.

It is not up to someone else to find you a job, no matter what it is.

oh nutty, is it really about right and wrong or being unreasonable?

I think she is trying to help you, admittedly in a rather insensitive, but utterly recognisable motherly way (stick you out there and let you face your fears...)

But you are feeling vunerable

I think if at all possible you need to explain to hewr how this has made you feel.

If you are feeling at a low ebb I think I'd be inclined to do stuff you are good at.

Aw, she is sweet, though. Just tell her thanks, mum, but it's not for me.

I don't agree with cold calling either, and neither does my mum, she hates it.

I know that it would not give me one ounce of confidence at all, it would just turn me into a nervous wreck.

I am looking for healthcare/childcare/school type jobs at the mo.

I have applied for college one day a week, but at the mo wether I can do it depends very much on money, as I need a job.

Oh and I know that for my own sanity, I need a job outside of the house meeting new people, not stuck in on my own, listening to people tell me they aren't interested in what I am selling.

Oh I will thank her, as I know her heart is in the right place, and she is genuinally trying to help.

Tbh it sounds like you ust need a job, any job to get you started.
Once you have a job you can start looking for another.
Weren't you working in B&Q a while back?

If for example she had rung me up and said 'oh XXXX said you could help out at the playgroup 2 mornings a week if you like', then i'd have said yeah no problem, but this just isn't me.

Wilkinsons

oh yes, that's right... any chance you could go back there or was it shifts when dp was still living with you?

I did evenings when xp was still here so I couldn't do that. I could go back there in the day yeah but tbh I think that would send me over the edge.

I really struggle at the mo to not sink into depression and although I am in no position to be being picky about jobs, I know that doing a job I know i'd hate would be the last straw.

I know milions of people do jobs that they hate, and do them because they have to, but I just can't do something that I know will have my crying before work each morning and plunging me into depression.

has she said you'll take the job?

or is it a job offer?

if the latter-well just say no, you don't want it.

I have always picked up jobs through family, friends, etc. The thing is, a lot of jobs are never advertised, they are through word of mouth. The fact that she knows him and is reccomending you will prob be a huge plus for him. I doubt he's doing her a favour.

I think it is an offer, either way I won't be accepting it. I'd rather stick pins in my eyse daily tbh.

has she said you'll take the job?

or is it a job offer?

if the latter-well just say no, you don't want it.

I have always picked up jobs through family, friends, etc. The thing is, a lot of jobs are never advertised, they are through word of mouth. The fact that she knows him and is reccomending you will prob be a huge plus for him. I doubt he's doing her a favour.

sorry double post

just don't take it. its fine not to take a job.

do you really need to work atm? these jobs aren't going to get you off benefits, are they? can you take a bit longer and do a course aimed at women returners-I think the jobcentre offers them. and do you have a lone parent advisor?

yes, there is no point making yoiurself miserable.
Have you though about putting an ad in the paper to clean other people's houses or do the ironing?
That way you can fit the hours around the kids.
My sister did cleaning for a bit to tide her over and it was great for school pick ups etc

I have done cold calling - it is utterly utterly depressing and horrible if you are not that kind of depression so defo don't go down that route.

Your mum is just trying to help. Dn't be too hard on her.

Have you looked into joining an agency who will be able to find you something to keep you going until you find what you are looking for?

Yep I do need to work, can't afford not to anymore. The jobs won't get me totally of benefits no, as i'd still get help with my rent, but i'd be off income support and I would be better off.

I will admitt I do feel very under pressure to get something, as ds starts school in a few weeks and the people I hardley even know are constantly asking me what I will be doing now that I will have no kids at home.

I did think of signing up with an agency but as alot of the jobs were temp ones, it would mean alot of faffing about with benefits.

Also with the ironing/cleaning, i'd have to declare what I earnt and the income wouldn't be reliable enough.