AIBU to use compensation claim on my hobby

[TescoValueUserName]

I was a SAHM, left an abusive relationship and now am on benefits till i can find a job that works around my children and degree. I have a hobby and there's a once in a lifetime trip overseas next year for it which i wasn't going to be able to go on after leaving my ex as I couldn't afford it.

I've had an accident and I've just found out that the compensation that I will get will more than cover the cost of the trip.

I know I'll probably get vilified for being on benefits and also claiming compensation, but AIBU to use it for this? It won't be all of the compensation, plus I have other savings and no debt.

Do it!

The money could well go on sensible things, it will get subsumed into your family budget and barely noticed / remembered in a few years.

OR

You could properly treat yourself to a soul nourishing, personally enriching and fun time away that you would not have been able to afford or justify otherwise.

I think you would regret not going.

You’re on benefits but have £4K savings? Lucky you. No real rush to find a job eh?

Bookworm, I don't know if you read above where the savings came from but they were saved while I was working and then squirrelled away while I was in an abusive relationship to give me the chance to escape one day. I had more but had to use it to furnish my new house, I've save loads as I've bought pretty much everything either second hand or very cheaply. I now live very frugally to try and not have to touch it.

I would absolutely love to get a job, not only for the financial security but for emotional and mental health reasons too. I HATE being on benefits, I want to work but it's hard when you haven't worked for 6 years through being a SAHM, no one wants to employ you, plus being in a relationship where you are made to feel daily that you're not good enough kind of screws with your confidence. I am doing a degree to improve my prospects so that i can get a decent job where I can properly support myself and my children and not just a low paid one where i will still need to rely on financial support.

I'm trying not to live on that money i have saved, I've only been on benefits a few months as before that I did use it to live on my savings but realised I couldn't do that forever.

I wouldn't have ever dreamed of using savings for this trip but it did cross my mind today to use some of this compensation for it.

As many PP said get a job, pay for childcare like we all do.
How long have you done your mystery hobby? Is it a competitive sport?

Ignore those trying to kick you while you’re down. Our family pays higher rate tax and I wouldn’t begrudge someone whose been hurt (I assume, sorry if that’s not why you’re being compensated) spending the compensation the way they see fit. Just because you’re claiming benefits you’re legally entitled to after having a hard blow in life, and trying to find work, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have any autonomy over how you spend your money.

We are very comfortable now but if DH or I became disabled or something else befell is I hate to think that the consensus would be that we would never be entitled to any joy in life, or that once we’d spent down to the max savings allowed and switched to claiming benefits, all of a sudden how we spend those savings which we’d earned from honest work were fair game for comment from others.

That said I’m a total bloody miser when it comes to money and would deffo squirrel it away if it were me!

I am looking. There's no childcare available for my school age child though, after school club and childminders are all full with a waiting list of a few years so I'm looking for something within school hours. I've applied for things and not got an interview. As far as DWP is concerned I actually don't have to start looking for work for another 3 months as they give you 6 months where you don't need to work or look for work if you have young children and have left someone through domestic violence. I am though as i really do want to work, it's just hard finding something suitable, who then want to even interview you.

I've done it for about a year. It's got me through some pretty dark times since I started. I haven't put what it is as it's pretty outing, and the info I have given would pinpoint me to my hometown too if anyone knew anything about it. I'm happy to tell anyone if they really want to know and PM me though!

Laser eye surgery which my ex paid for before we split.

Yes he was an abusive arsehole but I have no choice but to allow him access to the children, that has come from social services. Since I left he has been on his best behaviour and there's no way anyone would stop him from seeing them. If I try it would be me that gets in trouble for it.

It's amicable to a degree, basically as long as I don't rock the boat it's ok. I do that to keep things a lot easier on the children.

He's controlling but had no issue with me doing this hobby. He was controlling in many other ways through, including financial. He could be very generous, like paying for my eye surgery but also gave me no access to my own money. I had to ask him for every penny, he stopped letting me go shopping on my own because he wanted to control what was spent.

I would do it - an international competition doesn't come long every day and you'd still have a few thousand left of the compensation. If you've got adequate childcare, do it.