AIBU to use compensation claim on my hobby

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I was a SAHM, left an abusive relationship and now am on benefits till i can find a job that works around my children and degree. I have a hobby and there's a once in a lifetime trip overseas next year for it which i wasn't going to be able to go on after leaving my ex as I couldn't afford it.

I've had an accident and I've just found out that the compensation that I will get will more than cover the cost of the trip.

I know I'll probably get vilified for being on benefits and also claiming compensation, but AIBU to use it for this? It won't be all of the compensation, plus I have other savings and no debt.

Tax payers aren't filling up my savings account, it was left over from when I was working before having children and what I managed to squirrel away as my escape fund during my relationship. I've used quite a bit to furnish a house as I left my old house with nothing, this is what is left over now as I bought everything second hand. I've only been on benefits for a few months, before that I lived on the savings as I really didn't want to claim but then realised it wouldn't work long term. I really do want to find work but I'm struggling to find anything that works around children. Once my youngest is in school I'll be taking anything I can get.

Icecream, I'm 2/3 of the way through a degree that I started a few years ago, my long term plan is that I will use that degree to get a long term career, I am looking for work but i need it to work around that too as I don't want to give up the chance of a well paid career for a far lower paid job now.

There is help with childcare costs, no reason to need the children at school to be able to work. Millions have pre school aged children and work.

Morally I couldn’t do it. Benefits should be seen as a last resort. If someone else was having it feed and clothe my children I couldn’t use money to have a holiday. I’d be using it instead to not claim.

@PooWillyBumBum What a nice and refreshing POV regarding benefits! I was on benefits for a while as I was a single parent and finding work and childcare was practically impossible and I barely had enough to live on let alone have any savings. But so many people have a view that people choose to be on benefits and that people choose to be single parents etc so it's nice to hear that not everyone has the same view. Working does not only have financial benefits but also gives you more purpose and confidence in life so I don't believe anyone would not work if there wasn't a good reason

OP if it's possible I would think about finishing your degree first as I had help paying childcare and found it gave me a lot more confidence and job opportunities as well as making friends which I hadn't had since having my DC. My DC was in school at that time though so it does make a big difference.

You carry on the way you are OP. The benefit system is there to support you at a time like this. Ignore these people. Have a holiday. Keep looking after your kids. And explain yourself to nobody!

Everyone else who’s jealous may I invite you to go through what OP did and then see how you feel 🙄

Life is short OP, just do it. And what a great example to set for your children, they get to see their mum achieve something she has strived for.
These moments in life are for grabbing. I don't think you'd regret going but if you don't go? I think you'd look back with regrets.

The attitude of "you deserve it, go on, the benefit system is there for this, treat yourself" is why we have such a huge debt problem.
You have more important things to pay for. That money is finite. You don't have a job to top it up so that's all the savings you will have. You might get a job next month or you might not get a job until you finish your degree. You will need that money.

Source of money (ie, benefits and compo) aside, I think spending c. 25% of your life savings on a holiday for just you when you’re an unemployed single mum is ridiculous.

You’ll never win with benefit bashers. They feel like like they’re missing out on something. Spend the money as you see fit and disengage.

Injury lawyers are bloody optimistic scammers. Do not commit to anything until you have your money! Also I'm fairly sure that would put your over the savings threshold so might affect your benefit. Hope you get to go though!

@PooWillyBumBum Yes, I don’t know that but neither do you. What I do know is that the OP has benefits, compensation AND savings. That’s not right to me.

Compensation is disregarded for 12 months. Savings under 6k then if I’ve read this right. Savings under 6k not counted in working age benefits. That’s the rules.

Hotchocolate, I'm not sure if you saw my reply to you above but I can promise that tax payers aren't filling up my savings account! I do completely get that people will be pissed off with my situation though.

I did read you have savings but it would still be a very large chunk - however I'm not really morally against it, just think it would be better going to increase your family's security.

The government is actively encouraging people on benefits to save www.gov.uk/get-help-savings-low-income

The compensation will be declared to DWP for you, it’s then disregarded for 12 mths, if after the 12 mths you have less than 6k in savings you’re benefits will remain, following questions and proof of what you’ve spent it on (not 💯 on what’s “allowed”) but it says luxuries are classed as deprivation of assets, if this is the case you’ll be assessed as still having the money you’ve spent.

If after the 12mths you have more than 6k your benefits will be reduced accordingly

I’ve had someone have a 10k holiday considered acceptable. Guess it depends on who looks into it. 🤷‍♀️

Source of money (ie, benefits and compo) aside, I think spending c. 25% of your life savings on a holiday for just you when you’re an unemployed single mum is ridiculous.

^ this

You may need it in the near (or distant) future for your kids - what then? I'd be much too worried to spend that proportion of money in your situation, though of course a holiday would be nice - not at all sensible though it seems!

I’ve known someone penalised for a 4K kitchen :/ suppose it really does depend on the assessor. I personally wouldn’t risk it if I couldn’t afford the loss. It seems very unfair though, it’s compensation for pain at the end of the day, should be allowed a holiday 🤷‍♀️

Yes I do agree, if I did it and then needed it I would kick myself. I guess I'm just feeling shitty about the stuff I can't do after leaving my relationship. I could have gone then and it feels like leaving has just made my life so much harder while he was the one that caused it and is sitting at home laughing.

I think it is more rational to spend it on childcare and look for work. With other subsidies for childcare and depending on the age of the child, your £7K could stretch to cover up to 6 months of nursery fees.

I personally would use a little money for a really nice day out treat for myself but couldn’t justify 1.5K in this situation, especially if your hobby team wouldn’t be affected by your absence. I sympathize but truly would look at that 3K as an unexpected piece of luck for an emergency.

Sorry it's a YABU from me. Without a job, and the criteria you have given yourself for a job,you have no idea when you will be in work again.

Being a single parent as well, there is no way I could justify a holiday knowing my savings will potentially run out in the near future.

Thanks everyone, been good to see both sides and not just me having a toddler tantrum and shouting but I want to go and it's not fair! To be honest if it came to it I'm not sure I would want to leave my children for that long anyway.

I've got a few possibilities for work, none of which pay well but I can do it round everything else so that's a good thing. I found the perfect job and didn't even get an interview, I was gutted!

I think there are a lot of unknown variables here. Do you need to supplement your benefit income with your savings to get through the month, or are you able to house/clothe/feed your family without dipping into savings on a regular basis?

If your budget balances without needing savings then it’s less of a risk to spend some. If not, then you may need to work out how many months you can stay afloat for in both scenarios (going vs not) to see if it’s viable.

Does the hobby require additional funds if you enter, like costumes or makeup or accessories? (I used to sing with Sweet Adelines and the costs of the little things like regulation lipstick surprised me! I don’t know how much a competition gi or weapons for martial arts costs but I’m sure it’s not cheap!).

If it’s a group activity, would the group consider some fundraising activities to help subsidise members to go, or is there an assistance fund you could apply to for help with the costs? If the DWP decide to cut your benefit income based on compensation / savings, then it would help if you haven’t had to find the total cost yourself.

I wouldn’t underestimate the benefit to your mental health with going on this trip if at all possible. Group activities and the strengthening of friendships, feelings of achievement with competition (no matter where you come!), working with the group towards the goal (and knowing you will be able to take part, hugely demoralising to be working towards a big thing like this that you know you can’t be part of) - plus the mental break of not being a sahp for a few days. There’s also the positive message it sends to your children that you can absolutely be your own person as well as their mother.

I’m a higher rate taxpayer and I would be glad to know my taxes are helping support you and your children to escape an abusive situation and stay together as a family unit while you study to make all your lives better. I wouldn’t begrudge you that assistance at all - and if you get this compensation, then good for you. As long as DWP don’t leave you in the lurch because of it, I’d take the opportunity and go.