To ask DD to put some washing on the line

[buttonmoonb4tea]

Just that. She's 11 nearly 12. Starts secondary school in September. Trying to give her small tasks to do. I've asked her to put some washing on the line. She refused then said if she has to she's not coming swimming later. I asked her roughly 5 times then lost my shit. She's doing it now but AIBIU. Is this too much to ask of her ?

Absolutely not too much to ask, and she can take it in when it’s dry too!

Er no it’s not too much. It’s hardly sending her down a bloody mine is it.
I’d expect her to be able to strip her bed, get a load in the machine and out on the line with a bit of gentle encouragement at her age.
10yo DSD was telling me proudly yesterday how she managed to hoover her full bedroom, and get right to the back of the bed!

Absolutely not. My 8 year old hangs up the washing outside for me sometimes!

Yanbu. It irritates me to see perfectly able children expecting to be waited on hand and foot.

No, nothing like too much. It's a five minute job demanding no skill or strength. Entry level stuff.

Thank you. In fairness she does strip and change her bedding, hoovers and empties the dishwasher and restocks. All with complaints and snarling mind!

Perfectly reasonable request, provided she knows how to do it properly (and you do not criticise her afterwards, if it is not done as you would like).

DS12 and DD9 regularly do it. YANBU.

DD puts the washing on the drier for me and when it's dry she puts away what she can reach. She's 2. I bloody hope she'll be putting it on the line by the time she's 11!

I have done everything for her. In the last couple of years have asked her to hoover and change bedding and sort the dishwasher out. She complains every time or does it at such a slow pace that it's easier to do myself. I'm knackered, work almost full time and have a 4yr old DC. I need a bit of help round the house as it's only me and them (lone parent). I can see the teen years are going to be a nightmare.

All with complaints and snarling mind!

Well she needs to cut that out - and you need to tackle this. These are life skills, not medieval torture!

She's going to be pretty angry for the rest of her life if she doesn't sort out her attitude to basic tasks.

YANBU, she’s just being a typically lazy child .

No reason so long as chores are handed out evenly.

Giving boys and girls different kinds of chores to do is IMHO just wrong. Entirlyvfair if there is a DS who is not required to do chores. Just sayin'

There is a DS who is 4 but is happy to tidy up after himself, try and make his bed, sweep the floor making more of a mess. She's just lazy and always has been. I stumped at how to get her to do more without losing my shit. She literally just ignores me or gives me cheek.

Get the 4 year old to help? Wouldn't she be ashamed seeing her younger sibling doing things that she doesn't? Honestly, a four year old can certainly get the bedding off the bed and into the laundry bin, even if they don't have the arm span to get a cover back on, and I don't see why they couldn't help you with the dishwasher.

Oh, cross post.

Eh, sounds like teenagerdom!

She's going to be pretty angry for the rest of her life if she doesn't sort out her attitude to basic tasks.

I said she doesn't realise how lucky she is. Honestly it's the first day of the holidays and I could cry. Doesn't help that my period has started.

Yanbu, it’s hardly an arduous task. I’d be sanctioning that attitude as well tbh!

Is she home alone during the day while on hols? Maybe just leave a list of a few jobs that she needs to have done before you get home. And for that she gets to sleep in and not be reminded but the jobs need to be done.

I'm trying to imagine how it would have gone down if I'd had the nerve to say that to my mother when asked to do a simple chore. Not to be a grumpy old lady, but is this really how kids speak to their parents these days??

Oh the complaint I g and the repeated asking! Argh. It’s so bloody draining.

Annabellebronstein not all kids I'm sure. She's always been quite forthright with her opinions but it's just plain rude now. I have to nip it in the bud now.

Whoever suggested a list of jobs, I'm going to do that and yes she will be reprimanded for her cheek. No mobile for a week I think 🤔

Ohyesiam bloody draining it is.

Fine she doesnt get to go swimming but the wife will be disabled and every screen in the house will be gone. She can read if she likes but she needs to get it in her mind that she doesn't get her own way if she isn't willing to contribute.

Every action has a consistent consequence. You must be consistent.