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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pleased children are no longer out from dawn until dusk unsupervised

190 replies

rosediamond · 21/07/2019 09:58

I know some people claim they had a brilliant childhood roaming free but I think for the majority of children growing up prior to the late 90s (maybe?) they were pretty dark times.

I’m pleased that children playing without supervision is rare now.

OP posts:
Samcro · 21/07/2019 11:25

i grew up in the late 60's/70's and it wasn't dark times.
never did the out all day stuff, but life was so much simpler then.
when you got home you were safe from the bullies, now they can be in your house via the internet.
the world has changed, but that doesn't mean the past was bad.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 21/07/2019 11:25

Kid in the 70s and no, it was not particularly dangerous to play out at all .
I know there were those whom did not have such a safe and happy time though sadly , but on the whole, it was safer than now and that's a fact

notangelinajolie · 21/07/2019 11:29

It was pretty much the norm for us girls in the 80s/90s to be flashed at/wanked at/felt up by opportunists

I am sorry you had a terrible childhood but I cannot accept that this was the norm. Really?

MiniMum97 · 21/07/2019 11:29

No I think we do our kids a real disservice by not allowing them to develop the skills they learn from being out their own in particular risk taking, problem solving and social skills.

Mrsjayy · 21/07/2019 11:29

What happened to you was horrible op I don't think anybody on thread diminished your experience. What you are saying is today kids are safer and I don't think that is true

verystressedmum · 21/07/2019 11:30

My dc have always played out and the youngest who is 12 is still out walking around with his friends.

I had a great childhood out all the time (same as my kids). Nothing happened to me nor did it happen to anyone I knew and I grew up in London.

zippey · 21/07/2019 11:32

I think the OP is referring to the release of IT 2 which is about a town where children go missing because of a scary clown.

I remember them being good times. There are different dangers now. Children interact via social media and gaming now, so risks of obesity, grooming and bullying are even more amplified. Parents might have let thier children be unsupervised outdoors, but they are left unsupervised indoors now.

I feel sorry for for our kids. The more things change the more they stay the same.

HopelessLayout · 21/07/2019 11:32

We went home when the street lights came on! Great times—best days of my life.

dreamyspires · 21/07/2019 11:33

SilverySurfer I agree with everything you say. I had a similar childhood. What fun innocent times they were. I loved my childhood. Little money, very few clothes and possessions but we were all so happy. I remember those long summer holidays, friends would come knocking on the door asking if we were “playing out”. Only ever came in to eat, i remember how we all hated getting called in just before dark by our mums. We were all quite skinny as kids too, there wasn’t the variety in the shops but we were probably all healthier for it. No fast foods in those days.....

Definitely not dark times.

RosesAndRaindrops · 21/07/2019 11:34

Dark times Grin

Biscuit
Purplecatshopaholic · 21/07/2019 11:35

Dark times? Blimey, someone’s a drama llama aren’t they! Better outside playing than surgically attached to social media I say...

Mrsjayy · 21/07/2019 11:38

Yeah i agree it is a different unsupervised. We let them have phones and tablets and try and trust them , we check up on them they change passwords have secret accounts let them talk to strangers through headphones etc etc unless we wrap kids up in bubble wrap and sit them in a corner there is always going to be risk !

HulksPurplePanties · 21/07/2019 11:38

The only kid I know that drowned was caught in an undercurrent. Her parents, as well as a trained life guard, were sitting on the beach watching. Once the current caught her, she was gone. It was very sad and the beach was closed for a long time, even though the undercurrent was a bit of fluke.

I will admit my friends and I did play Lord of the Flies. Our cries of "Sucks to your Ass-mar" could people be heard for miles.

Charliecatpaws · 21/07/2019 11:45

I grew up in the 70s, there was a park at the end of our street, always full of kids, never a shortage of someone to play with, Life was great. My children played there in the early 00’s when they were very young, at the time I lived next to it so was able to keep an eye on them from the house. Funnily enough whenever I visit my dad these days it’s always empty, such a shame when I remember the good times had by me and my children

TeamUnicorn · 21/07/2019 11:46

We have a DVD of the old public information films. My kids love watching them. I am pretty sure it is Dark Waters that dh skips over because it is so awful, and he remembers that one many years later.

BazaarMum · 21/07/2019 11:47

notangelinajolie I didn’t have a terrible childhood, I had quite a middle class upbringing! In a leafy ‘naice’ area. But I would struggle to find a single girl from that time who wasn’t flashed at, wanked at or felt up (i.e. assaulted) by older boys or creepy men, when out and about. Someone else mentioned the same up thread.

It was totally minimised though. So maybe a lot of people just put that down as an occupational hazard of a free range childhood?

Anyonebut · 21/07/2019 11:48

"But based on my experiences they won’t be roaming the streets until they are old enough to be very streetwise."

Genuine question, how will they be very streetwise if they have always been supervised up to that point? From my pov, you get streetwise by being out and about.

I would love for my kids to be able to roam around, but given where I live they would be the only ones, and probably the police would bring them back!

makingmammaries · 21/07/2019 11:49

I didn’t see any dark times being out dawn to dusk in the 1970s. I think childhood nowadays is worse overall: the moment my kids decide to go off on their own, I’m worrying, and that can’t be good for them.

OtraCosaMariposa · 21/07/2019 11:49

I was born early 70s and it certainly wasn't "dark times". i was in the same school year at senior school as a boy whose sister had been involved in a very high profile child abduction and murder case - and it stuck out because it was SO unusual.

I just don't buy into the "paedophile around every corner" thinking, most people, the overwhelming majority, are good and honest and decent. Most children are abused/murdered/bullied by people they know, not random strangers.

My 10 year old went out yesterday to the local pool with two friends at 1pm, then spent the rest of the afternoon out and about with them on his bike. Returned hungry, tired and happy at 6pm. Nothing risky about it.

Mrsjayy · 21/07/2019 11:50

Dark waters is horrifying actually showing horror films to children was the norm in 1970s Britain Shock

BrokenWing · 21/07/2019 11:50

I think it is quite sad that some parents feel the need to cosset their children and don't allow them to grow and develop independence.

My ds is out from dawn (not quite as they don't get up that early!) to dusk along with all his friends during the summer holidays.

Of course accidents or sometimes worse happen, but serious ones are very rare. They are no more at risk than I am driving up a motorway every day with some bad or dangerous drivers/weather etc or all the other risks we take every day. You cannot wrap them up in cotton wool or they will grow up dependant, anxious, depressed and socially inept.

It was pretty much the norm for us girls in the 80s/90s to be flashed at/wanked at/felt up by opportunists

Not as children out playing. When older/young adults 16+ yes, but are you planning on keeping them in until they are 25? Also the world has changed for the better in this regard and that behaviour is no longer tolerated.

It sounds like you had some awful experiences OP, but that is not the norm for most children.

MoominMantra · 21/07/2019 11:52

I'm not sure about dark times. I'm 39 and I do remember a lot of my friends having stories about being flashed at I'm public.

MoominMantra · 21/07/2019 11:52

In public *

Sn0tnose · 21/07/2019 11:55

No dark times here, it was idyllic. The older ones looked out for the younger ones. There was no bullying or leaving anyone out. We learned independence and common sense and how to make friends. Nobody ever complained about being bored.

I compare my childhood to the childhoods I see now, where children can’t play with their friends unless their parents have arranged a ‘play date’ for two hours at a mutually convenient time and I know who had the better childhood.

MoominMantra · 21/07/2019 11:56

'I think it is quite sad that some parents feel the need to cosset their children and don't allow them to grow and develop independence.'

I do agree with this.

I have a 15 year old dd whose group of 4 friends aren't allowed to do anything because their parents are so ridiculously over protective. This obviously impacts my dd who I think is independent enough to do things alone. She just went on a school trip to Italy where the other girls were crying because they were homesick and my dd found it all quite tiresome. Their parents were also constantly ringing them.

How are these girls ever going to cope with adulthood?