Work colleagues.talking about the Christmas party already.

[whatisforteamum]

I've posted before about staff dos and how I never go to them.Views were divided.Last night I was asked by a my new boss if I will go this yr.It is July ffs!!
I said I doubt it.I have never really gone to them all my working life.My boss knows I have social anxiety which makes socialising hard.
I pointed out that after spending all December on 12/13 hour days with the same people I don't see the point in spending more time getting pissed with them.
I do have a family I could see when these colleagues are single and decades younger.They said it was.a.chance to bond.We all chat all day everyday while we work.
I came home feeling fed up that I'm made to feel odd for not going.One other colleague also a parent admitted she didn't see the point after a meal of.All night drinking.

I don't like parties, especially work ones so I don't go. But everywhere I have worked expects staff to pay to attend, so I wasn't the only one not to go

There's nothing wrong with advanced planning. We've already got a date in the calendar for our work Christmas lunch.

If you don't want to go that's fine, but nobody else is being unreasonable here.

Ours is free.Lots of drinks will be flowing.I don't know why the ones that love it don't just go and enjoy it and let the quieter ones or people with families do their own thing at an already hectic time of year.

Just don't go then.

I love the Christmas party and we book in August to secure a table as close to Christmas as possible. If you leave it much later then all of the good places will book up and it would need to be held in very early December, which just isn't the same.

I used to work for an employer who paid £30 per staff member (it was 20 years ago, so that was fairly generous then) towards the Christmas party. The people who refused to go then complained that they were being discriminated against because everyone else was getting £30 that they couldn't access, they wanted £30 cash to compensate for not going to the party. The party that they were invited to and refused to attend I'm not surprised that employers don't pay for Christmas parties when they are faced with situations like that. Needles to say, the solution was that they stopped paying for anyone.

If your work is having a Christmas do, someone has to organise it and popular venues can book up early.
Not everyone has the same opinion as you. Some people may be looking forward to it and it’s natural to chat about it at the planning stage (even if it is July).
Just say no. Colleagues will soon get the message and learn to avoid the topic with you.

I find it massively rude for colleagues to not attend at least part of the work Christmas party (ie. Just the meal if not keen on a big night out) unless they have an immovable significant commitment. It gives the impression that you dislike your work colleagues/employer SO much that you can't even be bothered to spend 3 hours of your own time with them.

Yes MY OWN TIME, I have been to enough of them in my lifetime. It’s the same cliques all getting pissed 🙄 just going to the meal? It’s usually vile. The weather is awful and I have to get ready at work....no thanks. I’ll go home and drink baileys with my husband.

Likethebattle yes yes yes😊I work in hospitality and have seen enough food from mid Nov- Dec to last a lifetime.A hot bath and a good night's sleep is preferable.

We had to say whether we wanted to go to ours in February!!! I said no because I didn
't know what my husbands shifts would be.

So I'm not allowed on it now lol.

Don't care though. The one and only one I had been to in my current workplace was free food and drink, plus a boss who doesn't drink, but took embarrassing pictures of people dancing, being a bit tipsy - without their knowledge then proceeded to email them to the individuals. Prick.

Put me off going last years, and I'm glad the decision has been made for me this year.

It's quite a gossipy environment I work in too and although I quite like most people, I just can't be arsed with the gossip.

Jesus Christ what an awful boss.Sounds dreadful😩

I'm not going to ours this year. Every year I dread it and hate it.

This year I'm just not fucking going, and work can slag me off all they like.

Ugh. It's July.

If this topic of conversation has become a 'thing' in your workplace I'd thoroughly recommend noise-cancelling earphones. (And they'll come in all the handier when the Godawful eardrum-assault of Elton, Mud and Slade starts in earnest ...)

My user name speaks for itself.
Christmas parties horrify me.

Yep, people have already been talking about it in my office too (school admin team). I have been to a couple of the Xmas dinners but didn’t last year and just said I had plans with family. I will be doing the same this year! I get on just fine with my colleagues but I spend 37 hours with them every week and that’s plenty; I want to spend my free time with friends and family especially around Christmas.

I’ll do my individual team lunch as I can tolerate that. I don’t like standing around watching folk get drunk and act like arseholes which always happens at my work nights.

I don’t go to any work social events. Plus I always think “well I won’t be here by December anyway”

Most of my colleagues have been normal ish people, fine to chat to nicely at work but they aren’t my friends. Thankfully I don’t work at the moment!

If you want to go - great. There’s nothing wrong in going or not going to three things.

If it upsets you so much to discuss then I think you just need a rehearsed response to trot out each time. That way you don't have to justify yourself (not that you should have to).
I used to enjoy the Christmas do, at different times in my life for different reasons. But we had a mixed age team and tried to make it appealing to all so a nice meal early on, those who wished could leave after that and the hotel had a nightclub so those still standing could party on. There were also a couple of people who never came and that was fine too.

Grinchly😀 yes my kids used to call me the grinch!!.This has cheered me up that I am not a.freak to not want to go.I think perhaps I am not alone in dreading the whole thing and the gossip after of who did what to who😣

We planned ours 2 months ago 🤷🏼‍♀️🙄🙄 ridiculous i know

Ours is in the daytime, so we have to go unless you book leave. I’ve only been to mine 6 times in 15 years 😁.

We’ve been planning our office party for months, which I always go to even though it’s in the evening. We just have dinner.

Couldn’t imagine anything worse than a forced smile party with a massively noisy disco and a beige buffet in a local pub (what my last employer did for the last 4 years) prior to that, they didn’t organise anything in time one year so said they would do a summer party - then no one wanted to give up their weekend off to go or were due to be working on the chosen weekend (only ran on 1/2 staff but same amount of work - care agency) so couldn’t go and it got called off. Thankfully attendance wasn’t compulsory and I managed to avoid it all but 1 year. Now I don’t work so don’t have to find excuses not to attend one!!

Often if people are asking if people will come they want to get an idea of who is going so they can arrange something that those people will like

There are certain people I've worked with who will say they'll go if it's a meal out but not for a night drinking, or won't go if it's a show because they don't like musicals

So they will try and match the outing to those going

It's the right time of year to book, so that's normal.

Businesses would get even more heavily criticised if they didn't throw a Christmas party. Most of the managers would probably have a 100 things they'd rather do than go, but no choice.

YABU to be rude about it. Make up an excuse once the date has been finalised, or find an excuse to decline now and be done with it.
Why being so unpleasant and rude towards your colleagues? At least half will feel obliged to go but will try to be pleasant about it, others will enjoy their friends company.