I panicked an blamed the baby...anyone else have embarrassing public stories?

[Dailytalker]

Out shopping with DH and our beautiful baby girl (5months). I’m pushing the buggy in my own little world browsing at the clothes in the sale when suddenly I feel a slight ‘ache’ in the tummy.

I did not see anyone close by so therefore I let off a silent trump. Well...a few seconds later I realised it smelt quiet bad and there was a group of women coming closer an closer to us. I wanted to fan it away but I knew that would be too obvious.

I therefore panicked an shouted to DH across the shop I need to “change the baby’s bottom” and made a swift exit.

I did look back an see the ladies waving their hands above their nose.

Super embarrassed. I wish I could’ve held it in but my stomach just wasn’t letting me.

Anyone else ever done something similar in public? It might make me feel slightly less embarrassed.

These things happen and hopefully you'll never see those women again. I'd definitely blame the baby.

YANBU. Enjoy it whilst it lasts, you can't blame her for ever!

It's not healthy to hold them in, and it's not like you dropped one near them on purpose.

You should perfect the art of 'crop dusting' - walking along and letting the gas out slowly.

I had a really upset stomach in some public toilets a few weeks ago. A girl came in with her mum and said how disgusting the toilets smelled I had to wait until they were gone before I dared to come out.

My almost 3yo will shout at the top of his voice "mummy, you did a fart!!!" If he hears me so I can't blame him anymore!

I once knocked a lot of wine off the shelf in Aldi and blamed my two year old.
I bought her chocolate by way of an apology.

I worked in a care home and was turning a resident with another carer and I let out a silent but deadly fart so bad the other carer said “oof she shat herself (resident)” she was very unprofessional tbh think nanny omg but stupid, rude and lazy!

Although I farted and never corrected her....🙈

@Nameisthegame your colleague sounds awful. Wrong profession I would say

I once farted outside ASDA in the early days with DH. It was really vile and silent. As the smell hit a woman drove past on a mobility scooter and DH said ‘oh jeez that woman stinks!’ I never let on it was me

Sorry op but .

@watsmyname the dumbest human I ever met not sure what use she would have anywhere working really...I I think she let her brain go to mush she didn’t know Paris was in France.

Just boarded for a 4 hour flight coming back to uk, recognised I had a building and troublesome “gas” problem, so nipped to the front loo before the aircraft doors closed, to try and release....before it became painful after gaining altitude.

Managed a massive release of the most awful gas imaginable, feeling really pleased to have averted a crisis, I opened the WC door, and there was the Captain, smiling broadly right in my face - he was waiting to go in next!

My face still burning in shame....

Farted in a lift that was hot and packed with people. The fart was vile. The look on everyone's face as it slowly crept over them.

I cleared a tram once, many years ago. I used to get hideous wind with every period - truly fruity.

Isn't that what a baby is for?

I did it on a plane, didn't expect the whiff that followed, luckily I had a baby to hand to do the nappy sniff!😂

You cleared a tram, because your fart was that bad.
I'd be proud of that, if it was .

Isn't that what a baby is for?

The trouble with babies is that they learn to speak soon enough. Get a dog and you’ve got someone to blame for the next fourteen years.

One sunny day I pulled up outside the house and sat there for a while before letting the longest, loudest, wettest sounding fart out- it bubbled up and out of the waistband of my trousers. I sat there for a few seconds, with the window opened, enveloped in the stench. Then my neighbour popped up at the window, with a wide grin. I hadn’t heard her approaching on the gravel, so I can only assume she’d been around for the release and that’s what had amused her. Her grin vanished sharpish when she got within smelling distance though.

I always fart, act disgusted and ask DD and DH if they did it. They both blame eachother. When I know it was me... i dont think anyone ever suspects it. Truly vile cabbage smelling ones.

My dad kept farting and blaming it on the dog. Really nasty, eggy ones.
I took it all day. Until the "that dog dont half like to fart" comments got old

See, Dad, when he farts, I know its him because he smells like brussel sprouts. But since I picked you up, you've been blaming the dog for your eggy arse...even the dog is ashamed.

Hasnt done it since!

Oh I blamed ds (3) the other day. His big brother was all urghhhhh mummy he needs a nappy change!

I go awww x have you had a poo? Him ‘yeah and a big stinky fart like what mummy does!’

We were coming out of the school gates. Parents and teachers started sniggering

I Bet the Queen, and other Royals,do not fart,they go all around the world,and to all these different functions all the time, and no media has ever posted about a royal fart that was heard.. ! They never seem to sneeze,or have an itch somewhere either. ha ha.

1forall. If I remember correctly Billy Connolly was in the queue behind the queen to have their farts removed.

(Showing my age with that one)

This is the exact purpose of the queens corgis

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂