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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at ungrateful so and friends

34 replies

2under3helpme · 20/07/2019 20:07

So, my partner went out last night with his friends from where used to live and I said it was fine for them to stay as long as he didn’t drink too much as I had work the next day and he was watching them. So he went out and 3am I have heard nothing so ring him and get short snappy answers about him being out (oh is a person who cannot function on no sleep And struggles at the best of time) so 4.30 rolls around they’re still not home so I call again (not staying up just have a breastfeeding girl one year old who’s still up every other hour in the night. They roll around at 5am which I was annoyed at as they’re were sleeping in our living room and I told everyone beforehand the kids get up between 6 and 7 and I had work the next day. So I get up at 6.30 with the kids and met with annoyance at SO and his friends that I’ve brought the kids downstairs at that time to give them breakfast and end up getting them dressed and taking them out to Tesco at 8am. End up making everyone a bacon sandwich which barely receives a thank you from anyone. Gone to work on barely any sleep at all (mixture of breastfeeding a and them all making noise) and when I’ve come home my partner has gone to bed straight away and I’m left to make the kids tea and put them to bed. I feel so drained. I never sleep anyway and the housework and children is my responsibility but it’s be nice for a bit of gratitude every once in a while

OP posts:
Loopytiles · 20/07/2019 20:09

That’s shit. Say no to friends staying over in future.

Why is housework and parenting your responsibility?

Passthecherrycoke · 20/07/2019 20:09

That sounds crap. Get everything done as quickly as possible, get to bed and try and start tomorrow as a new day. It’s just one of Those crappy days Flowers

Loopytiles · 20/07/2019 20:09

And why didn’t you wake up your partner to do the parenting / tea?

mbosnz · 20/07/2019 20:13

Make sure you don't give anyone the comfort of a bacon buttie next time. Instead, set the kids to banging saucepans with wooden spoons. And make sure your expression says it all.

Original poster
2under3helpme · 20/07/2019 20:13

@loopytiles I woke him to look after my youngest when putting my eldest to bed and he said he’d get up but then went back to sleep and I just felt too emotional to bother anymore tonight, would just end up with a eye roll and comment about me overreacting

OP posts:
MrsSiriusBlack1 · 20/07/2019 20:13

Well he sounds fabulous. Tell him and his rude friends no more sleepovers, what an arse

Likethebattle · 20/07/2019 20:32

Next time if he isn’t back by a decent hour bolt the door and tell him to do one.

Loopytiles · 20/07/2019 20:36

So you didn’t wake him again because he’d react negatively. He sounds better and better.

daisypond · 20/07/2019 20:38

He was crap. Why on earth did you make them bacon butties? You had enough going on as it was.

thetimekeeper · 20/07/2019 20:45

What do you get out of this set up?

pictish · 20/07/2019 20:49

How did you end up making everyone a bacon roll? Did they ask you to?

user1480880826 · 20/07/2019 20:56

So you go to work AND the housework and kids are your responsibility? What purpose does your partner serve in this relationship?

Beautiful3 · 20/07/2019 21:01

I wouldn't have made them breakfast! No more friends staying over in the living room it's not practical . Tell them to get a hotel room.

Firsttimemama2017 · 20/07/2019 21:20

I would never have agreed to friends staying over in the living room with small kids in the house--not practical at all! If he wants a piss up with his mates they need to book an air bnb not come back to the family home! Hope you get some sleep and feel better tomorrow x

BlueSkiesLies · 20/07/2019 21:22

Why the fuck did you make a bacon sarnie for everyone? Have you got mug written on your head?!

Dawninglory · 20/07/2019 21:32

Agree with other posters Op, he should stay else where if he wants to stay out until the early hrs. Personally I would not agree to him staying out so late, with such young children, and you having to work, he's taking the piss.

Greyhound22 · 20/07/2019 21:35

Why on earth would you have pissed up people coming back to a house in the early hours of the morning with young children in the house?!

I'd be furious.

GreenTulips · 20/07/2019 21:38

Why is she yours and not his baby to look after

LagunaBubbles · 20/07/2019 21:39

And you made bacon sandwiches exactly why?

LegionOfDoom · 20/07/2019 21:50

I’d be pissed but if it was a one off, I’d let it go.

Why are the housework and children only your responsibility? You work as well and even if you didn’t, it still shouldn’t all be down to you.

Original poster
2under3helpme · 21/07/2019 08:51

Just to clarify. This isn’t a regular occurance. My oh’s friends drove over 80 miles to come and see him as we moved hence they staying round purse and from what I was told they were going’s for a couple of drinks at the local pub for a catch up. I know all of these guys and my eldest calls them all uncle incase it came across as just letting drunk people sleep on My floor which I’d never allow which is why I was so annoyed.

I tried to confront my oh as to why I was upset and he just looked at me deadpan and said things like ‘what can I do to help’ the exact phrase that I told his as an example in a previous argument that he adopts to annoy me. And just telling me to go to bed. It’s just the fact that I Haley made out to be completely unreasonable and I get confused as to whether I am being

OP posts:
NoLeopard · 21/07/2019 09:13

You have seriously got to stop doing all the housework and childcare. He ASKS what he can do to help? Fuck that. He should KNOW. But I think he's getting mixed messages. How can he know you are fuming (with reason) if you then make everybody bacon sandwiches before you go to work? I would have got the children ready as normal and then left.

AllFourOfThem · 21/07/2019 09:16

As a one off this wouldn’t annoy me but it sounds like you have many more issues in your relationship that you need to stop continuing.

Pinktinker · 21/07/2019 09:19

It makes me sad how low some people’s self esteem must be to put up with shit like this. You actually got up to make them breakfast as well?! Ridiculous, I’d have kicked them all out as soon as they started making noise and I’d be fuming with DH if he rolled in so late knowing I had work early the next morning.

Cornishmum00 · 21/07/2019 09:31

I could excuse this if it was a 1 off but it sounds like you need more support from him in general