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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at ungrateful so and friends

34 replies

2under3helpme · 20/07/2019 20:07

So, my partner went out last night with his friends from where used to live and I said it was fine for them to stay as long as he didn’t drink too much as I had work the next day and he was watching them. So he went out and 3am I have heard nothing so ring him and get short snappy answers about him being out (oh is a person who cannot function on no sleep And struggles at the best of time) so 4.30 rolls around they’re still not home so I call again (not staying up just have a breastfeeding girl one year old who’s still up every other hour in the night. They roll around at 5am which I was annoyed at as they’re were sleeping in our living room and I told everyone beforehand the kids get up between 6 and 7 and I had work the next day. So I get up at 6.30 with the kids and met with annoyance at SO and his friends that I’ve brought the kids downstairs at that time to give them breakfast and end up getting them dressed and taking them out to Tesco at 8am. End up making everyone a bacon sandwich which barely receives a thank you from anyone. Gone to work on barely any sleep at all (mixture of breastfeeding a and them all making noise) and when I’ve come home my partner has gone to bed straight away and I’m left to make the kids tea and put them to bed. I feel so drained. I never sleep anyway and the housework and children is my responsibility but it’s be nice for a bit of gratitude every once in a while

OP posts:
Juells · 21/07/2019 09:37

Haven't got past 'made them bacon sandwiches' WTF?!?!?!? Why would you do that for such a shower? Back to read the rest of the thread now...

Juells · 21/07/2019 09:41

Worse and worse.

cheeseorchickentwisties · 21/07/2019 09:47

He sounds shit and not like someone I'd bother being in a relationship with. I'm not sure why you think the kids and house are your responsibility.

plasterboots · 21/07/2019 10:03

OP time for a complete change of lifestyle ... from today, right now, he takes his share of childcare and housework.

No arguments, no going back ... it happens now!

F2Feee · 21/07/2019 10:12

More fool you. What a mug.
Making them breakfast and then complaining.

LannieDuck · 21/07/2019 10:19

So I get up at 6.30 with the kids and met with annoyance at SO and his friends that I’ve brought the kids downstairs at that time to give them breakfast and end up getting them dressed and taking them out to Tesco at 8am.

Why? You'd warned them the kids would be up at 6-7am. They knew it and chose to stay out late anyway. I would have let the kids crack on with their normal (and perfectly reasonable) morning routine.

End up making everyone a bacon sandwich which barely receives a thank you from anyone.

Why? Why, why, why?

the housework and children is my responsibility

Why?

Do you and your partner both work FT? - why isn't he doing half of the housework?
Are the kids his? - why isn't he doing half of the childcare?

bwydda · 21/07/2019 11:29

Are the children his? Is the house yours only? Why on earth did you make them breakfast? Yanbu to be annoyed , but there are other issues here- the housework and children all on you for a start AngryHmm

nicenewdusters · 21/07/2019 13:25

If you lay down and do an impression of a doormat he'll walk all over you. That's what people do.

Why is he in charge of how your lives run? Just having a womb doesn't mean you're pre programmed to do all the childcare, housework and paid work as well.

He needs a huge kick up the arse. Don't ask or negotiate, act as you mean to go on.

As for the bacon sandwiches, it seems ridiculous to say but think what that really says about how you see yourself in your set up. He's behaved selfishly and immaturely, you're really cross (rightly so) but your actions are almost subservient. Why did you feel the need to come across as a kind person doing a nice thing ?

Butters83 · 23/07/2019 16:36

TBH its only fair now that you get to go out for a night out and also then lay around hungover all day while he looks after HIS children and makes you breakfast.....

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