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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that it’s disgraceful not to sort out your child’s tongue tie?

53 replies

Cherrysoup · 19/07/2019 16:04

I just can’t understand why somebody would leave it? How did the child suck on a bottle or breastfeed? Surely it’s standard to fix it? The (now adult, early 20s) can’t stick out his tongue/lick an ice cream and how, if you have tongue tie, do you use your tongue to help you swallow food?

OP posts:
Pharlapwasthebest · 19/07/2019 16:39

My brother had it, he was fine until he moved to France in his late 30’s and couldn’t roll his rrrr’s, so he had it done then.

Original poster
Cherrysoup · 19/07/2019 16:42

I stand absolutely corrected, I thought it was absolutely essential to correct it. Apologies to pp I have offended. It just struck me as odd. Clearly he can eat! Sorry, I didn’t want to offend anyone, it looked like it meant he wouldn’t be able to enjoy ice cream hand yes to the oral sex comment, but hat did cross my mind!)

Many apologies!

OP posts:
bonzo77 · 19/07/2019 16:43

I (dentist) once referred a man in his mid 20’s for tongue tie division. It was making is oral hygiene impossible and he was at risk of loosing his lower from teeth. Oral surgery did the division then referred him to SALT. When I next saw him 6 months later he was like a different person. He’d put on about 2stone in weight (going from rather thin to average) and was in a relationship for the first time and training for the first time since leaving school. Not every tongue tie needs dividing, but some do and even if a baby can survive, it may well be at a sub-optimal level.

TwattingDog · 19/07/2019 16:44

There is a lot of research about the links of tongue ties to prevalence of migraine, mouth breathing (leading to poor dental health), TMJ and other quite major life-affecting issues as a person grows up.

I think the focus of latching, weight gain etc in babies is rather misleading as it's not actually as minor as people are suggesting here. Even those with a tongue tie may have no idea of comorbidities.

Mouthfulofquiz · 19/07/2019 16:45

My eldest had a bad tongue tie which I had snipped at 7 days old. I’m very glad I did it as it was all over and done with in half an hour and he fed like a dream after that. A close family member is a max facs surgeon and he said it was best to get it sorted, earlier the better.

Summersunshine2 · 19/07/2019 16:48

Yep sorted my DS out ASAP. A bit happier after as could keep his dummy in and hasn't stopped eating since! Interesting the comment about how it could effect adults.

AbbyHammond · 19/07/2019 16:51

3 of my children had tongue ties, two were corrected and one wasn't. The one that still has a tongue tie could breast and bottle feed and is totally healthy.

Bambamber · 19/07/2019 16:53

My large local hospital won't even entertain cutting tongue ties. It's not see as a necessity apart from in extreme cases in which the child would be referred elsewhere

dontfollowmeimlosttoo · 19/07/2019 16:54

Only needs cutting if it's causing a problem. Too many independent practitioners making money these days from posterior tongue ties

cabingirl · 19/07/2019 16:55

There is a difference though between a visible tongue frenulum and a tongue tie which is going to cause a problem.

(I know that's not the case in the OP's friend as she has said movement is restricted - but I'm concerned how common it is now to simply snip anyway regardless of a potential issue)

When I give birth in the USA - I was given a huge hard sell to have my DD's frenulum snipped the day after she was born. With huge dire warnings about how it would affect her feeding, her speech development, etc etc.

My Mum and I both looked at her frenulum and it seemed just like ours - and no one in our family has a problem sticking their tongue out etc. In other words, a visible frenulum doesn't necessarily mean a tongue tie.

DD had no problems nursing - no problems with speech development and no problems sticking her tongue out all the way. She's nine now and I've asked her to test sticking her tongue out at various times over the years to see if there is any restriction of movement.

But the doctor in the hospital as insistent that it was essential and I had to be quite firm to refuse it. I didn't want my gorgeous one-day-old baby to have something on her body cut if it wasn't necessary.

Floatyboat · 19/07/2019 16:56

You do realise tongue tie is a social construct op? Hmm

Soubriquet · 19/07/2019 16:57

My dd is 6 and has tongue tie

She was diagnosed when she was born yet there was no one at the hospital who was willing to snip it

I tried to breastfeed but it was so bloody painful I ended up giving her bottles.

At the 8 week check, they spotted it again and said as she has established feeding, they will leave it until she is eating solids.

She was finally referred to a paediatrician when she was 1, but because she had weaned ok, they were reluctant to do anything unless it affected her speech.

It hasn’t so nothing will be done

She can eat ice cream, eat other foods and drink normally

She can’t however stick her tongue fully out but apart from that you would never know

Myshoesarenew · 19/07/2019 16:57

Both my babies had their TT divided but only because it was interfering with breastfeeding and because I wanted to feed them. Some might view that as selfish (I don’t - for me breast is optimal). Fortunately it made the difference between being able to feed them and not, but I wouldn’t have done it if only for cosmetic reasons. As it happens, DC2 has a tongue tie now because his has reattached and by then it wasn’t causing such an issue.

stayathomegardener · 19/07/2019 17:26

Dd 20 has a tongue tie, totally unnoticed by midwifes couldn't breastfeed, I drove her three hours to a specialist unit in Oxford to be told she had a tongue tie.

Used to ulcer between her gappy teeth when she was in primary and still we were advised not to get it done.
She seems relatively unscathed now. We really tried to get it resolved to no avail, things were different then.

stayathomegardener · 19/07/2019 17:30

Hmmmm Dd also has migraines so maybe less unscathed than I thought reading previous posts.

Tigger001 · 19/07/2019 17:50

My relative is 36 and has a tongue tie and believe it or not she has eaten ice cream, had a bottle as a baby and is a fully functioning adult.

She can't however pull tongues at people that would accuse her parents of being disgraceful 😂😂😂

EmpressLesbianInChair · 19/07/2019 17:58

I had speech therapy when I was small, had trouble speaking clearly for years then my tongue tie was finally diagnosed by an elocution teacher when I was 11. I had it snipped under GA & then had lessons to learn to speak properly.

Eating & drinking were never a problem, but being snipped as a baby would have saved me fuckloads of hassle.

BjornAgain81 · 19/07/2019 18:05

I had mine done in my 20s. Wasn't even aware until my dentist pointed it out.

Topseyt · 19/07/2019 18:07

Tongue tie was never mentioned when I had my babies. That was in 1995, 1998 and 2002.

I would not even know if mine have them or not.

If it isn't causing problems then leave it. It's fine. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Unnecessary surgery should be avoided.

WanderingAimlessly · 19/07/2019 18:08

Me, my DS and my DN all have tongue ties and no problems eating, drinking, nursing (as babies), speaking, singing, or for those of us old enough with snogging or oral sex.

I’m glad that you think that my mum, me and my SIL are all appalling and neglectful parents. Cheers for that.

Our local (large teaching) hospital doesn’t cut them anyway unless there are problems feeding. We all have mild cases and can stick them out a reasonable way so aren’t considered eligible.

bumblingbovine49 · 19/07/2019 18:17

Well I tried to get ds's tongue tie fixed but couldn't find any doctor that would refer me. I'm suppose I could have insisted and paid privately but I believed three doctors who told me it was not necessary.

I also did not know he had a tongue tie until he was over 10 months old. Every midwife I had asked to check ( I suspected one) to said he didn't have one.

He did but it was not particularly bad. Breastfeeding was difficult and painful for a long long time but we persevered until he was 2 years old and he thrived

londonloves · 19/07/2019 20:24

@Floatyboat please can you explain what you mean? It sounds rather dismissive to people who have really struggled to breastfeed due to tongue tie.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 19/07/2019 20:45

I have one at 29, was never diagnosed as a baby.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 19/07/2019 20:50

I discovered I had a tongue tie at 40+ when a dentist pointed it out.

BF with no issues apparently. Eat ice cream, no issues speaking or in anyway hinders my life.

Greywalls12 · 19/07/2019 22:07

I have a tongue tie, it affects my speech - i can't speak fast, it just ends in a blur of words. It's also physically painful to try and stick my tongue out.
DS 3 months has a tongue tie, which I'm awaiting a max fax appt for, i want it cut to prevent problems in the future. He does feed and is gaining weight well, but he can be quite fussy feeding, which may or may not be related to the TT.
If it was a simple snip to get my TT done now i would do it, but you have to have GA and stiches which i don't want.