Am I asking my 4 year old to do too much?

[MonstranceClock]

My 4 year old has chores that she does, a majority of them she likes doing, but some of them she doesn't.
My friends think I am unfair, they don't ask their children to do anything. It might be important that I am not English, so could be cultural. We certainly had to do a lot more when growing up.

Her chores:
Things she likes doing:
Setting the table
Shelling peas
Chopping veg
Putting washing in the washing machine (I do the powder and softener, she just likes sorting the clothes)
She loves wiping things down with a cloth. (Notably my freshly painted white wall with a cloth she'd just used to wipe tomato sauce off the table)
Feeding her cat and fish

Things she doesn't like doing:
Tidying her room
Putting her shoes away in her shelf
Washing her toothpaste off the side of the sink

For me, I would be happy for her not to do any of things that she actually does like doing, I don't think they are important for her to do but she does ask to do them. However, the things she dont like doing, I think is important for her to do. I think 4 is old enough to tidy your own things away. She is nearly 5, so not a young 4 and is at school, so I feel she probably does tidying at school too.

Is this too much? Do your children do similar?

I don’t think that’s unreasonable at all - I have similar routines with my four year old. She loves to organise things and she loves to help pack bags and make salads; I usually insist she tidies up her toys before she gets out another game so that she understands that we need space and a bit of order to function!
I don’t insist if she’s really tired or has friends over.

It doesn't sound that unreasonable. You're hardly stuffing her up a chimney.

My DS1 is 2.5 and he has ‘jobs’ I like him to do, and he enjoys doing them too most of the time. I have definite jobs and then things he likes to help with but I don’t force the issue.

Things he has to do:
Put his shoes away
Empty his plate into the bin and then put plate/bowl/cutlery in the sink
Help tidy his toys away
Attempt to take off own coat & shoes

Things he likes doing:
Putting clothes in the washing machine/emptying the washing machine
Emptying the bottom drawer of the dishwasher
Peeling his own fruit/opening packets/babybel etc
Any other jobs around the house I’m doing that he fancies helping with 😂

I think is does them good to take responsibility for things and to learn that running a house means everyone pitching in. Also where I have two boys I don’t want them growing up thinking households jobs are woman’s work.

Nothing in your list sounds extreme!

My 5 year old does a similar amount of jobs. He tidies up, helps set and clear the table and loves to chop veg and help with cooking within reason. It’s his job to water the garden with the hose and we pay him 10c a go for this.

It doesn't sound that unreasonable. You're hardly stuffing her up a chimney

That sounds perfectly fine to me, I think some chores are great for children of all ages.

Tidying, shoes and rinsing off the toothpaste are all very reasonable. The toothpaste and shoes should take a second to do if she's reminded to do them at the right time, is the issue that they're left and maybe she needs reminders? Can you help her make tidying her room fun or more manageable?

I think there's nothing wrong with children learning to do basic chores from a young age. I wish my parents did it with me

I think that sounds fine, and not too much. Like everyone elses DC, my DS (3) also doesn't like doing the things I'd like him to do.
Tidying his toys
Putting his shoes in the basket

But loves helping with all the things where he's actually a bit of a hindrance like
cooking (cracking eggs, mixing etc)
hanging laundry on the drier
He also likes to help my dad garden but he's actually quite helpful at that (digging and using the hose, all great fun to a 3 yr old)

I probably wouldn't call them chores tbh just because it creates this idea that they're onerous, draining things someone shouldn't want to do (and doesn't sound like most of them are a chore to do for her if she enjoys doing them and asks to do them!), but it all sounds thoroughly unremarkable.

Going against the grain...I dont think a 4 year old should have chores as such. If they like helping with things great but as for things they have to do...too young imo

Chopping veg 😳 rest are fine though, we do similar

I think if she enjoys doing those things then great and like you said the few things she dislikes are still important and just need to be done.

What's wrong with chopping veg if DC like doing it? Lots of nurseries get pre-schoolers to chop their own snacks at snack time as an educational activity.
And forest schools tend to use real (ie sharp) tools for activities.

No, it's not too much.
I can't remember what exactly my daughter had to do when she was 4, but she certainly had to help at home and put away her own toys.

My son is 23 months and he's required to help with tidying up since he's capable to (around 12 months) and he has to put his own shoes away since several months.

Oh, I forgot: My son does much more than what I wrote above, I was just referring to the things your daughter HAS to do.

Nothing wrong with it at all and she seems to enjoy the majority of it anyway

I had my 4 yo DN peel garlic for me. Apparently that was akin to child abuse according to my brother (her uncle) because he hasn’t figured out how to peel it without digging his nails in

That's a relief! My friends dont let their children do anything. And it means when they come here they leave my house in a real state.

That's all fine. My DD has just turned 5 and she does almost all of that. She doesn't chop veg but that's because her 2yo brother would try to grab the knife off her. She does peel carrots, crack eggs, put her plate and cutlery away, put clothes in the washbasket, wipe up her own spills etc. The younger they start the better.

My 2.5 year old is similar to most other posters.

He has to take off shoes/jacket & tidy up his toys at the end of the day.
We've also recently started him taking his plates through to the kitchen once he's done.
He also 'helps' with as many tasks as I can adapt for him: sweeping the floor, cleaning up spills, hoovering etc... He doesn't have to do these things but I think it's good for him to grow up with everyone helping out.

Glad to finally see someone who teaches their child some skills and responsibility, beyond fed up with all the MNers who still tidy up after adult kids.
Well done OP ⭐️

All seems fine.

DD2 is 4 and she is expected to:

Set the table
Clear her plate, cup and cutlery after a meal
Sweep up under her chair
Make her bed in the morning (pull up duvet, put pillow and toys on top) and open her curtains
Strip her bed (she and her sister help each other) and put the sheets in the machine
Put clothes in wash basket and put shoes away
Hang up her towel after her bath
Tidy the playroom

She also helps with food prep, and sometimes feeds the cat dry food, sorts washing, dusts or waters the garden

Quick question - What kind of implement are these children using to 'chop' veg and peel fruit. Do you mean a vegetable peeler? To be able to chop a vegetable (I am thinking carrots for instance) wouldn't you need a sharpish knife.

I'm just curious by the way. I think it does no harm for children to help out along the way.

My daughter uses a knife.

DD has similar jobs and she's not 4 yet.

She cuts soft veg with a dinner knife and cuts herbs with scissors.

Puts washing in the machine and also the detergent. I measure it out and she puts it in.

She chooses her outfits, puts dirty clothes in the washing basket and she puts her over night nappy in the bathroom bin.

Puts her dirty dishes in the sink and she doesn't wash those up but she does wash her paint brushes and playdough tools.

She helps with cooking - stirring, decorating cakes, pizza toppings, putting chicken nuggets on the tray.

I'm working on putting toys away but as some go in the box others come out.

I've let her get involved with things as she's asked because I thought I may as well make the most of her wanting to help. I got a massive bollocking from the health visitor about the washing powder but DD knows not to go in the kitchen without me and I explain when things arent safe for her and that she's doing very grown up things but it's good to look after the house.