Am I asking my 4 year old to do too much?

[MonstranceClock]

My 4 year old has chores that she does, a majority of them she likes doing, but some of them she doesn't.
My friends think I am unfair, they don't ask their children to do anything. It might be important that I am not English, so could be cultural. We certainly had to do a lot more when growing up.

Her chores:
Things she likes doing:
Setting the table
Shelling peas
Chopping veg
Putting washing in the washing machine (I do the powder and softener, she just likes sorting the clothes)
She loves wiping things down with a cloth. (Notably my freshly painted white wall with a cloth she'd just used to wipe tomato sauce off the table)
Feeding her cat and fish

Things she doesn't like doing:
Tidying her room
Putting her shoes away in her shelf
Washing her toothpaste off the side of the sink

For me, I would be happy for her not to do any of things that she actually does like doing, I don't think they are important for her to do but she does ask to do them. However, the things she dont like doing, I think is important for her to do. I think 4 is old enough to tidy your own things away. She is nearly 5, so not a young 4 and is at school, so I feel she probably does tidying at school too.

Is this too much? Do your children do similar?

I have special child-sized sharp knives and also an anti-cut glove - a kind of fine mail that means the blade glances off.

But kids can use knives perfectly well - they do at preschool as well. Just supervise and tea g them good technique

@FrogsAreMean My daughter started using proper sharp knives for cutting vegetables at age 4. Before that she used butter knives.
My son gets to use a butter knife (children's cutlery) as well, he got it when he was around 19 months old.

I think that all sounds fine. But then some of my friends think I’m really mean for making my dc (aged 13 and 10) strip and remake their beds, so maybe I’m not the one to ask...

My four year old has to put shoes away, hang up coat, make bed, put toys away, bring plate and cup to the sink.

She likes to help chop grapes, make a sandwich, grate cheese, crack eggs when baking, measure things. She also enjoys watering plants in the garden and picking veg.

All these things happen naturally and are not labelled "chores". It's just life.

Chopping veg rings alarms to be honest everything else is fine aslong as she enjoys them I guess but little fingers chopping veg no no x

Get a kids cutter knife. Cuts veg not skin. Best invention if your child wants to help in the kitchen.

This is what it looks like

Your the mum, your friends have no say.
As long as all your children are treated equally.
If my mil taught my husband to
Tidy up after himself I would be a happier woman! ( still very happy but he literally strips off his clothes and they stay where they fall until rescue them!! Haven’t partied a sock in weeks 😂😂

I had an absolute screaming temper tantrum aged 17m where I complained at length about not being allowed to hoover.

(I bring it up whenever my mum brags about how advanced my speech was - give me my cheery, no fuss, ordinarily developing nephew any day.)

Kids generally LIKE playing house and doing things.

I think that sounds perfectly reasonable. As a Reception Teacher, I wish more parents were like you.

Children need to know that there isn't someone trailing after them, clearing up their mess. The other activities sound like they're enhancing her fine and gross motor skills, so I say "crack on"!

Mine were definitely stuffed up chimneys at this age.

Wow, I wish I could get DS (18) to do as much

My 4 and a half yo enjoys wiping down surfaces, vacuuming, folding her laundry and putting it back in the right drawers, laying the table, chopping veg (under close supervision) and feeding the cat. I will be adding more jobs as she gets older and more capable, her father and I split all housework type jobs 50/50, so she understands teamwork.

DS is 7 and has always had the same sort of jobs since he was little,

putting dirty clothes into the wash basket
making his bed
cleaning his toys away
his room spotless (for about 2 hours on a saturday)
putting his clean clothes away

He also can do the washing up, puts the washing machine on, hoovering and cook simple dishes for dinner. He is not required to do these, doesn't always do them, its up to him, as he gets older they might become more of a requirement. But that will also depend on whether I start working or not, very simply, those jobs he does, I don't do for my partner either (apart from making the bed in the morning.)

The jobs he likes doing, are the ones he sees both myself and my partner doing. So there might be something in that

Thanks all for the answers to my questions.