Family think I'm bad for leaving child at school 10mins before door opens

[pointbla]

I take my year 4 child early 10 mins before the school doors open and leave him there. I have another child to take to another school. He's 9 , I see no problem with it , other children are there too. Also, I don't regularly do that just occasionally.
My family seem to think this is very bad and I am putting my child at risk as the kids mess about. AIBU?

I wouldn't allow my kids to play in the street either, they're not feral!

Dear God. No wonder child obesity is at such a high level with attitudes like this.

Since when has playing in the street changed from you know...just kids playing in the street, to being 'feral'?

It would be a safeguarding issue for us in year 4. Year 6 can arrive and depart alone but for insurance purposes we need to have it in writing that you are happy with that.

Thanks for the replies guys... I have such horrible mum guilt!!

You have nothing to feel guilty about you're not doing anything wrong. Encouraging independence is so important in raising well rounded children.

I wouldn't allow my kids to play in the street either, they're not feral!

I wasn't aware that children needed to be feral to play in the street. There's really no need to be melodramatic not all children are lucky enough to have gardens or parks nearby.

9yo would not be going to the corner shop, spinning around on bikes unsupervised etc. None of the 9yo's I know do. Maybe back in the early 80s but times have moved on since then. I would have to guess that you are well over 50 for those kind of views and that you don't currently have a child in the age bracket being discussed.

What nonsense. Depending on where you live that perfectly normal. It is where I live.

Our primary had older kids playing there from 8.15 unsupervised till 8.30 it wasn't a problem. Shock horror they actually play in school grounds when its closed too!

9yr olds are perfectly capable of playing unsupervised for 10 minutes.

Where I live its normal to be walking to school yourself by then and going to the local shop, to park with friends.

I find it strange that 9yr olds are not allowed out in thier own to play with friends even on thier own street! (Location permitting obviously) my youngest is now at high school but he and his friends were out on bikes, making dens, at park together for hours by 10ys old just like I was at his age.
Don't be so bloody smug and agist.

It sounds more than fine to me, OP, if it's within the timings you are given for dropping the kids off. At our school the 20 minutes of supervision really helps with traffic, as kids aren't all arriving at once.

Dear God. No wonder child obesity is at such a high level with attitudes like this.

huh!?!

how do you jump from obesity to not playing in the street?

Or are you trying to imply that my kids MUST obviously spend every single free minute of their time eating snacks in front of screen sobbing on the sofa? Because it's one or the other?

I don't get the playground supervision thing.

At our school the playground is never supervised before and after school, and kids play there at those times. The gates are never locked so kids play in there during the summer holidays and stuff too. From what I read on here about many schools in England, I am so grateful for the Scottish school culture in a lot of ways.

It's ten minutes! Basically enough time to chuck your bag down, have a five minute chat/play, then get in line. I get to work ten minutes before I start to get myself ready for 9am. What's the difference? He's not hanging about for hours on end.

Of course it’s fine. My own and many other 8 years walk to and from school themselves.

It's fine until something happens. Then what?

Is it your responsibility that harm came to your child (or that they did something to harm someone else) because technically the school don't have responsibility until after a certain time, or is it the schools responsibility because the child is on school grounds and there are school staff present but no parents?

Either way, it's the school that would have to deal with the consequences of you leaving your child unattended on their premises if someone got hurt or had an accident, so it's completely selfish of you to put this on the school for your own convenience.

If you want your child to remain your responsibility, then don't leave them at school until school says it's ok for you to do so. If you want your child to be schools responsibility for that time, then use breakfast club.

Given that at age 7 (I'm now 54 so maybe things are different today?) I walked over two miles to school, sensibly crosses roads and negotiated a field with cows in, I struggle to understand what often seems to be over protectiveness - let the child develop and grow, understand boundaries, develop relationships and all those life skills that are so important. Those ten minutes with just friends around are valuable - let them be enjoyed

Children who play outside are feral?!!

Christ alive.

I often used to walk over two miles to school alone at that age, and used to let my kids do the same from the age of 10.YANBU.

Children who play outside are feral?!!

no one said playing outside, it was about playing in the street....

Kids need lots of exercise and being able to play out in the street with friends really helps with that.

More and more it seems to have been swapped for a few structured activities, which quite honestly isn't enough.

Fair enough if they live in an area with high crime/anti social behaviour or any other actual reason to keep them in.

But insinuating that MNetters who let their kids play out have 'feral' kids is ridiculous.

It says far more about that parent and their attitude than anyone else.

I think you are very unfair - leaving kids in the foyer unsupervised - fire alarm ? Damage ? In my local school you would be reported to SS as a CP issue (I know this as one of our neighbour dropped hers off 10 minutes early and got a warning letter) would you leave a 9 year old at home alone? Well exactly - it would come under neglect for the school. Not on

So what? Street, patch of grass, does it matter? Is my son scootering up and down the street outside my front door feral then?

What a nonsense.

You didn't answer the question about staff supervision, OP - are there any staff on duty in the playground when you drop him off?

Posters are willingly completely missing the point.

It's not about the child's independence, it's about who is responsible for the child when he's on school property out of hours!

would you leave a 9 year old at home alone?
Er yes for thirty minutes or so, that’s not neglect.

'Outside' generally means the street though doesn't it?

Otherwise they'd state 'garden' 'park' etc

Is my son scootering up and down the street outside my front door feral then?
you can't find a better place for your child than the street where other people are trying to walk?

And don’t get me started on the parents who are always late to pick up! I want to get home to my own chikdren

'Outside' generally means the street though doesn't it?

not really, if it's the street you say "the street".
There are a lot of places "outside" which is not the street -depends on your area obviously.

In our school you can drop children off at 8.45, teachers will be in the playground and the whistle goes at 8.55. As my youngest is in reception the etiquette seems to be to stay with them until 8.55, but come year 1 i will be dropping them off at 8.45 and going to work. I work flexibly so need to make up the time somewhere.

So assuming what you describe is a similar arrangement to this, YANBU, if you are dropping children off prior to teachers being present (and thus presumably against school protocol) YABU.

The OP hasn’t answered who she believes is actually responsible for her child.

I actually think the risk is tiny. Most of the time a 9 year old can play without injuring themselves or something spontaneous happening to them. But it does happen, and in this situation, I expect the OP would NOT be okay with a teacher sitting on their computer and asserting (correctly) that the child isn’t their responsibility before school starts. Because the teacher has a duty of care, and the OP is taking advantage of that and she knows it.