Family think I'm bad for leaving child at school 10mins before door opens

[pointbla]

I take my year 4 child early 10 mins before the school doors open and leave him there. I have another child to take to another school. He's 9 , I see no problem with it , other children are there too. Also, I don't regularly do that just occasionally.
My family seem to think this is very bad and I am putting my child at risk as the kids mess about. AIBU?

It is a real dilemma for many schools.

Where I work, no parents come onto the playgrounds. Children are dropped off at, or walk to, the school gates.

The school gate is manned, and the playgrounds actively supervised, from 15 minutes before school starts.

However, as parents were dropping children in the street outside the school and driving off earlier than this, we took the decision to open the gates 15 minutes earlier, as the children are safer inside the school grounds than crowded around the gates on a street busy with further cars dropping off.

We state clearly that we have no responsibility for children before the time when the playgrounds are supervised - but of course, when a child trips over, bangs heads with another child, falls off playground equipment etc etc (normal playground accidents) those of us whose classrooms overlook the playground DO rush out to help, or respond to knocks on the doors - because we do care about the children in our care, whether or not we are 'technically' responsible for them.

My DC's primary, which had a breakfast club on site, had a much simpler solution - any child on the playground (or obviously dropped off next to the school and left) alone earlier than the time playground supervision by teaching staff was due to begin was immediately taken into the breakfast club, and parents charged the daily flat fee for breakfast club accordingly. Worked really well, and the responsibility for children was absolutely clear.

So it isn't staff responsible, it's the school community

And how would that work out, if it came to any legal proceedings following an accident? Who would a litigious parent go after? Not the "school community," for sure.

Just to clarify - breakfast club at the DC's primary was an 'on demand' service - anyone could book their child in for an odd morning here and there, or every morning.

The same happened for children picked up late at the end of the day - taken to after school club and charged for. On the one exceptional day when I was caught up behind a traffic accident and was late, it was brilliant to know that my child was safe, supervised and no inconvenience to anyone.

cantkeepawayforever My own school does something similar, with regard to the after-school club. We would often have up to 10 kids waiting in the office area after school for those "it's only 10 minutes" late pick-ups. Since they've been billed for after-school care, it's amazing how sharper people have got with their time-keeping.

I think what you are doing is fine.

OP

Is your family who are questioning it your own dps. If they are so concerned perhaps they could practically help by taking him to school instead or butt out😊

It is up to a parent whether their child is mature enough to walk to school alone. If the one reason you choose to leave them at school rather than letting them walk is that you know they are safer under the care of peoplewho haven’t said they are happy to be responsible, but are obligated to do so, you’re cheeky. End of story.

Well, no - we don't have any idea if the school in question is walking distance from the OP's home, or a walk along very busy roads, or whatever. There are completely different considerations when it comes to walking to school.
And do you really think all children who walk to school arrive there exactly 10 seconds before the doors open?

Anyway, very glad my children's school doesn't have a problem with this, and in fact encourages an appropriate level of responsibility and independence for its pupils.

AppropriateAdult

Nothing stopping the OP from telling us why she prefers her DS to wait at school. I can’t think of any reason other than “safer”. 🤷🏻‍♀️

But for the litigious types, if a child has an accident outside the school gates, it's "just one of those things." If the same child has a similar accident inside the school gates, regardless of whether it's before or after the bell, the school becomes the cash cow who can be sued for compensation.
You can say, "Oh, but I wouldn't do that." But there are plenty of people who would.

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess

And that’s before you consider the possibility of a member of staff involved making a catastrophic error that led to the death of a child. What if they fail to spot symptoms of a serious condition? What if they don’t check the child is allergic to nuts/dairy and give him a piece of chocolate to calm him down?

And so on.

You can argue the child should never have been there, but you can guarantee there would be legal repercussions if a mistake was made.

I would check the school's policy if I were you OP, if its allowed then YANBU, if it's not, then leave him outside the gates with instructions not to go onto the school grounds until its allowed.

DD's school has no real policy on children arriving early, they can arrive whenever (DD would often arrive up to 20 minutes early in her first term, depending on how many interesting things distracted her on the way to school or not) but with the understanding that there is no supervision before school starts, though on very cold days they are allowed to go inside to wait but I don't think there's supervision then either, teachers are either busy preparing or not there yet (DD's teacher this year wouldn't arrive until bang on time, the children would be waiting in the classroom already)

DD's teacher this year wouldn't arrive until bang on time, the children would be waiting in the classroom already

That sounds really unwise on the part of the school. They're leaving themselves open to all sorts of risks, allowing unsupervised children in the classrooms.

That sounds really unwise on the part of the school. They're leaving themselves open to all sorts of risks, allowing unsupervised children in the classrooms

They don't do supervision at all times here, it's a different culture

Today 11:43
@ OhDearGodLookAtThisMess

But for the litigious types, if a child has an accident outside the school gates, it's "just one of those things." If the same child has a similar accident inside the school gates, regardless of whether it's before or after the bell, the school becomes the cash cow who can be sued for compensation.
You can say, "Oh, but I wouldn't do that." But there are plenty of people who would.

Indeed.
This academic year we've had a parent threaten legal action for an accident caused by their own child doing something that has been made clear is forbidden. Our insurers decided to offer an out of court settlement because had they gone to court and won, the costs would have been crazy. That's without the negative publicity for the school.
We no longer allow children in school until the doors open, since that is when our insurance starts, and, sine the playground and classes can only be accessed from inside the school, it means that children are often hanging around outside school, ceom when they are dropped off until the doors open. Parents are advised on the weekly newsletter that children will not be allowed into the building, but still choose to leave their children unaccompanied. Sadly, our insurance premium is likely to increase significantly due to the payout and ultimately, that will affect all the children as the budget will be even less able to cover the cost of resources etc.

Depends on the school policy. Your child might be fine to be left at that age for 10 min but the school may state they must be supervised by a parent/carer until they are transferred over to the teacher at the door up to a certain year group. Might be best to check.

My son was walking to school with his friends by 9 years old. They always got there early and played in the playground. I don’t see a problem with it at all.

At 5 yrs I was walking to school, crossing two major roads. By 8 I was walking a mile to a bus stop, travelling 5 miles and then getting off and walking to get to school by 8.00am. I loved it. Always the first there, played for an hour and in the afternoon did the same going home and played until my parents got home. I never came to any harm, By 12 I was travelling to Scotland on the train by myself so why can't little darlings do the same today.

Don’t feel bad OP. I work at breakfast club and there are a whole load of kids who don’t attend for breakfast but are out on the playground way before the doors open, without their parents.

Lots of the kids at my school also catch the bus home - even the early years children. You’re not a terrible mother for leaving your 9yr old at school. They probably enjoy the freedom! It will most likely build a good trust between the two of you as well

Are family members willing to help out? If not tell them to butt out - why so many people have to have an opinion on what’s right of wrong for your child I’ve no idea. Doors may not open but there will be people / teachers around. If you feel ok about it do it. If you don’t then rethink the situation!

Is it separate infant and junior schools? It must be a problem for lots of parents in that case. I bet the school is quite aware and would flag it up if it was an issue.

Fine unless you’re assuming another parent will help him if he has an accident/ needs the loo. We have a parent who does this and twice the child has come over to the parents with a cut knee from a fall. I’m happy to help as long as I know I’m responsible single for that child iyswim

herculepoirot2 I agree - I am a primary school teacher and walked past a Year 4 child who had been dropped off early before breakfast club. They were waiting outside the school by themselves by the open gate to the teachers' carpark. I went in to ask a member of SLT what I should do as I was not happy to leave them there, mostly (if I'm honest) because if they had ended up being hit by a car and it had been shown that I had walked past them knowing that they were there, I would feel terrible and probably be in a lot of trouble. She advised that the child was safer indoors, so they sat in my classroom for the 15mins until breakfast club started. I'm not allowed to leave a child alone in a classroom, so I didn't get my coffee etc. that morning because I was supervising someone else's child. I think it's very cheeky - the parents had assumed that the teachers would be there anyway and would keep 'an eye' on their child and I felt that they put me in a position where I had no choice.

My dc's school don't allow this. We were in a similar situation and we had to use breakfast club for dc2 at £2.50 a day.

I'm very surprised the school allows this. These children are not supervised by school staff but they are on school grounds and should anything happen, however unlikely that may be, they will be liable.

I don't think I'd have done this with my children without a teacher in attendance. Understand completely how difficult it is to juggle multiple school runs, so no judgment on the OP, I just think the school needs to in charge as they would be required to be throughout the day.

That is cheeky hen. How much earlier than start of school?

Did the parent get spoken to about this.

Sounds like a lot more than 10 mins

My dc were 9 at the beginning of Y5 and walked a mile and a half to school, and home again. At that time of the morning there are loads of other kids and parents around and a few minutes in the playground unsupervised by school staff is absolutely fine.

Honestly, we mollycoddle the shit out of children in this country.