Family think I'm bad for leaving child at school 10mins before door opens

[pointbla]

I take my year 4 child early 10 mins before the school doors open and leave him there. I have another child to take to another school. He's 9 , I see no problem with it , other children are there too. Also, I don't regularly do that just occasionally.
My family seem to think this is very bad and I am putting my child at risk as the kids mess about. AIBU?

*sorry, should have added, it can also be about prior problems.

If someone complains that their child is being bullied on school property and there was no teacher around to supervise things, then what?

Even the most nutcase policies sometimes have a story behind.

AudacityOfHope

It’s a school facility. You can keep making up the idea that it belongs to the students to use as they wish, but it doesn’t.

For similar reasons, I leave my ten year old unsupervised before school. I drop her in the village, she walks to the school gate and then waits with others until it opens. It's only different from the OP in that the school gate is not opened. DD is still unsupervised - only she's unsupervised on the pavement. If anything went wrong, she'd have to go into school to get help. It's not much different from us leaving the house together, her for school and me for work. It's just what we have to do.

because it's not about child's independence, it's about insurance.

I highly doubt that's the case surely its safer to have the children spread out on the playground that to potentially have all those children in a breakfast club which is normally in the school hall and would need more staff to supervise due to ratios?

I'm not making anything up with any kind of agenda, all I did was give an example of one of the ways in which school approaches can differ

AudacityOfHope

And I don’t have any issue with that. But if the OP’s DC’s school took that approach, I doubt she would be posting.

But the school haven't objected. It's her family.

I haven't yet RTFT (about half way!) but the thing that strikes me is that people are saying "I let my 9yo go to the shops/park etc by himself." You are allowed to do that, as a parent. It is your call to make. Fact is, schools are bound by different rules. As soon as you leave your child at school then you make the school responsible for them and we cannot make the same decisions that you would as a parents. I cannot leave a class of Y6 children alone in the playground. At home my 10yo DD goes to the playground by herself. I allow her to watch PG films and the odd 12. At school, I cannot do that either. We do not let children hang around on our playground before a certain time because we do not have the staff to supervise and if they are on school property, they effectively become our responsibility. If there is an accident, who will the blame lie with? We have also had incidences where parents have got involved in arguments between children and approached a child themselves to 'have a word'. If that child is left in tears, but does not have their own parent there, who is responsible for picking up the pieces?

It is not pearl clutching, it is saying that if you leave your child on school property the staff are responsible for them and will have to stop what they are doing to sort out any issues that arise, not fair if they have gone in early to ensure time to prepare for their day of teaching.

Our school runs a breakfast club. We charge now for any child who appears before 8.40 and whose parent leaves them, even if it's just a few minutes. This has meant that kids are properly supervised and staff can do what they need to do without interruption. We did it because the interruptions were frequent and becoming a nuisance. You may not think it's a pain. The staff who actually have to deal with 20 kids left alone may disagree.

AudacityOfHope

We have no idea if the school has a policy on this or not, but I suspect if the school had given permission, the OP would just have said to her family, “No, it’s fine - the school supervises them and will step in if needed.” No issue.

She didn’t say that, so I can only assume they don’t.

AbbyHammond I suppose that's the school's way of saying that the children can come in but the school is not responsible, as per my school, because they know the realities of life! In our school though, as I said, they do wait in their line rather than play.

Hercule "The OP isn’t leaving her son unsupervised. She is leaving him under the care of people who haven’t been asked, and relying on them to keep him safe. Yes, I think she’s being cheeky."

So in your understanding it would be better for him to wander up and down the street outside rather than play on the playground, just to ensure that he isn't accidentally supervised?

I'm also slightly agog at parents who find it a big issue to be a responsible adult if something is amiss when they are standing there anyway. I wouldn't actively supervise other kids in the playground if I was there as well, but would I mind intervening if there was a problem? No of course not, and I'm hardly mother teresa. It just takes a village, and keeping a quarter of an eye out for other kids is the least I can do for other parents who have to rush to work. In 7 years of school runs the most I've ever had to intervene is to re-tie a shoelace! Who'd have thought it, the potential for accidents in the 10 minutes before the bell rings is really quite tiny...

Not everyone in the UK understands "year 4", not a system I have used, I don't have a clue what it means. Only a system in England, not other parts of UK.

to potentially have all those children in a breakfast club which is normally in the school hall and would need more staff to supervise due to ratios?

again, depends.

In my kids schools, breakfast and after school are run by private companies, nothing to do with school staffing ratio.

Speakout I think the rule is add 5y.

*The 10 year old has a phone and can contact me if any problem and theres always someone in the school office.

I used to walk to school with friends from the age of 5. It's good to get kids used to being independent through short safe periods on their own.*

So effectively you are asking the school to keep an eye out before school opens. "There is always someone in the office". You do expect them to help. Of course they will if a child needs help, but if it was me, I would be giving up my prep time to sort out the issue - time I've gone into school early for, and put my own children into before school care for. Your 10 year old has a phone but he's not going to ask you to get off the train and come back for a grazed knee, is he? It will be staff that sort it.

Yes, children need independence. That's for you as a parent to figure out though. You've made them schools responsibility instead. He may well be off to secondary school soon. Fine. But the fact is that while the kids are still at primary different rules apply - different adult to child ratios, different rules about playground supervision.

What would happen if another parent approached him to discuss something he'd said to their kid and he found it threatening? (We've had this happen). Who would you expect to intervene? What happened if there was an accident? Leave them in the playground and you make school responsible. It doesn't work to then say "The teachers are not responsible" because as an adult, if something happens, they automatically are.

so I can only assume they don’t.

That's all it is though an assumption. Just as I and others are assuming that the school clearly don't have an issue with this otherwise there would be no reason for posting as the OP would have a clear answer.

Lots of parents do this at my DCs school, some in my DS’s class (year 4) walk out of school to the car alone too. It’s perfectly acceptable as long as the child is happy with it. There’s nothing that could happen in a school playground really.

So in your understanding it would be better for him to wander up and down the street outside rather than play on the playground, just to ensure that he isn't accidentally supervised?

It’s irrelevant what I think would be better or worse. 😂 She is being cheeky. Just because it’s more convenient/safer for her to be cheeky, doesn’t make it the right thing. She needs to arrange for someone to watch him, or put him in breakfast club, or do whatever she needs to do as a parent to make sure her child is adequately supervised (whatever that means to her) without making teachers and office staff do it be default.

frgosoup - or to ask another parent, to keep an eye out? I agree, it takes a village etc, but in our school most parents would help by bringing a child into school for the teachers to deal with.....
That way your child isn't wandering the street, but also isn't the automatic responsibility of people who haven't agreed and may need that time to do something important for their whole class.

again, depends.

In my kids schools, breakfast and after school are run by private companies, nothing to do with school staffing ratio.

Which is similar to many schools but surely even private companies wouldn't have an extra 2-3 or maybe more staff on standby on the off chance they were needed for children being left in the playground for 10 minutes before the school day started.

But you can't honesty believe that people put their children into breakfast club just to cover the last ten minutes before the bell rings. I know we've all got a point of view here, but in reality nobody would do that for the sake of the, what, 7-8 minutes before it's time to line up.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone

Well, she can always come back and correct me. Fine by me.

AudacityOfHope

I don’t care what they do, providing they don’t leave me to watch their kids. As a parent I have my own child. As a teacher I have work to do.

But nobody is asking you to watch their 9 year old! They are capable of sensible standing in a playground for mere minutes.

I'm also slightly agog at parents who find it a big issue to be a responsible adult if something is amiss when they are standing there anyway.

But what if I don’t want to stand there anyway? What if I have places to be and decide to leave my child, too? What if we all did that?

That is the issue here. You can’t assume someone else is going to step in and do your job for you.