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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for ways to stop me spending

45 replies

WhenZogateSuperworm · 18/07/2019 21:45

My maternity pay has just dropped to statutory and I’m not back at work until January so am going to be very very short on money.

I have a big problem with online shopping- I love buying clothes for my DS and DD and must have a parcel delivery every other day!

I think I need to disable my Paypal account to cut myself off at source and maybe need to start a hobby to stop me browsing the Joules and Boden website on an evening.

Does anyone have any tips to help me cut my spending habits?

It’s little things like the other day I couldn’t find a pair of shorts for DS so I ordered a few new pairs online. When I sorted the washing and put away the laundry I discovered he actually owns 15 pairs of shorts! Totally ridiculous!

OP posts:
Thirder · 18/07/2019 21:49

Do the shopping and put them in the basket. Then wait until the next day to complete order.
Is it the process of browsing and shopping that is giving you a buzz or the actual items arriving?
Cut off any email alerts from stores too, to avoid temptation.
I regularly shop and get to checkout, then leave it and find I never come back to it unless I really need (not want) it.

NottonightJosepheen · 18/07/2019 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
WhenZogateSuperworm · 18/07/2019 21:55

@Thirder It’s more the spending and ordering that gives me the buzz than the item actually arriving. I often have parcels arrive and I don’t even know what’s in them as I’m not waiting on anything.

OP posts:
WhoKnewBeefStew · 18/07/2019 21:56

Shop on line, put items in your basket and leave it a week...

Original poster
WhenZogateSuperworm · 18/07/2019 21:57

Mindless consumerism is fuelled by feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction, the idea that the acquisition of material things leads to increased happiness. this definitely rings true. I’ve always been an owner- I need to possess things, hate throwing anything away and spend hours researching the best type of an item before I buy it to make sure it’s the best value for money.

OP posts:
ifeellikeanidiot · 18/07/2019 21:58

Get a monzo account. App based banking. Really helped me.

Youngandfree · 18/07/2019 21:58

Mindless consumerism is fuelled by feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction, the idea that the acquisition of material things leads to increased happiness.

This!! It’s funny because when I had PND May kids looked like a walking Boden catalogue...3 years later not so much!! Primary and h&m at best!! Saving gives me more of a buzz now!!

Veryveryouting · 18/07/2019 22:02

Youngandfree I was exactly the same! PND and Mini Boden obsession! Grin

SavoyCabbage · 18/07/2019 22:02

The people I know who spend too much money on clothes for their dc do it because they aren’t happy with the way they themselves look. It’s easy to buy clothes for children. They always fit and they always look good. It’s easy.

Your dc aren’t happier because they have new clothes so you are only doing it for yourself. Spend the money on days out. Experiences rather than things.

Original poster
WhenZogateSuperworm · 18/07/2019 22:03

@Youngandfree mine too! Except DS rarely

wears his nice clothes because he is usually at the childminders or preschool where there is paint! So he has a wardrobe full of Joules and Boden that doesn’t get worn!

OP posts:
Jojobears · 18/07/2019 22:06

I have this issue too!!!

Youseethethingis · 18/07/2019 22:06

Every penny you spend on nonsense your kids don’t need is a penny you are stealing from the fund that will be feeding them and paying for the heating to be switched on in the winter months. The kids don’t care about clothes. They will care if they are hungry and cold.

Original poster
WhenZogateSuperworm · 18/07/2019 22:06

@SavoyCabbage
The people I know who spend too much money on clothes for their dc do it because they aren’t happy with the way they themselves look.

This is very true. I have so many clothes myself and yet can never decide what to wear because I don’t feel good in any of them. I constantly feel like people are judging me for what I’m wearing. I’ve stopped buying as many for myself but now buy loads for the kids to make sure they always look good.

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 18/07/2019 22:07

Your DC don’t care about shorts they care about spending time with you. You are showing your love through stuff. You need to give the same value the love and time you are giving them.

Plan some fun free things to do. Treat the planning like you would researching things to buy.

RandomMess · 18/07/2019 22:08

You need to keep on top of the washing and putting away so you can see everyday that their rooms are over flowing with clothes...

Washing and putting away every evening to stop you browsing!

Then selling bundles of quality as new clothing would keep you occupied too...

PooWillyBumBum · 18/07/2019 22:09

Consider getting YNAB - You Need a Budget.

It’s an app but it’s absolutely changed our lives both financially and beyond!!

Original poster
WhenZogateSuperworm · 18/07/2019 22:11

@RandomMess that’s true- there isn’t space in their wardrobes for all their clothes and so a good clear out could give me something to focus on.

I’m also going to remove my bank card details from my phone so if I want to buy something I have to get the laptop out- that should slow me down.

OP posts:
Dandelion1993 · 18/07/2019 22:12

I removed my card details from accounts so that I couldn't just click order and it did it.

bodgersmash · 18/07/2019 22:17

YNAB - great. Totally transformed my approach to money and felt like it was the first time I truly understood it. When I don't use YNAB, I slip back into old habits! When I am using it, I seem to be like a money goddess. Watch all the tutorials and use the app every time you spend.

Change your PayPal password to letters and numbers, then hide the password somewhere hard or ridiculous to get to, like the loft.

Put any credit cards in a Tupperware box, fill it with water and put it in the freezer.

And spend some money on making yourself feel better - gym membership or whatever will work for you. The inadequacy thing is bang on. When you feel good in yourself, you don't need to spend on things to feel better or get a buzz.

LunaTheCat · 18/07/2019 22:18

Nottonight absolutely brilliant - I am going to do that!

Waveysnail · 18/07/2019 22:19

Disable paypal. Delete all cards from phone. Cut up any cards you dont use. Put the rest in hard to get place like the loft.

JocastaJones · 18/07/2019 22:25

I was also going to say Monzo. You create a budget for the month and watching it go down really focusses the mind on what you’re spending.

Original poster
WhenZogateSuperworm · 18/07/2019 22:56

I don’t have any credit cards and have used a spreadsheet budget before for a few months which did help but I didn’t keep it up.

There is no point even writing a budget for the next 5 months as I have no disposable income at all! My statutory mat pay will just cover the direct debits in my account. I have access to the joint account with DH so there is money available, but it’s always my own wages I spend on the kids clothes etc. He disapproves of my spending and so will nag at me if I use the joint account for it.

OP posts:
slashlover · 18/07/2019 23:30

I found working out the value over the year or as a % of my income to be helpful.

If you're spending £10 per week on shopping then that doesn't seem much UNTIL you realise that's over £500 in a year.

Blindandfrozen · 19/07/2019 08:44

Monzo...