To ask for ways to stop me spending

[WhenZogateSuperworm]

My maternity pay has just dropped to statutory and I’m not back at work until January so am going to be very very short on money.

I have a big problem with online shopping- I love buying clothes for my DS and DD and must have a parcel delivery every other day!

I think I need to disable my Paypal account to cut myself off at source and maybe need to start a hobby to stop me browsing the Joules and Boden website on an evening.

Does anyone have any tips to help me cut my spending habits?

It’s little things like the other day I couldn’t find a pair of shorts for DS so I ordered a few new pairs online. When I sorted the washing and put away the laundry I discovered he actually owns 15 pairs of shorts! Totally ridiculous!

Unsubscribe from Boden, Joules really email, social media etc. Block their websites..

If you must buy something, put it in your basket and wait 48 hours before checking out. If you really love or need it or, you will still really love or need it 48 hrs later.

What don't you sell some of the stuff your kids have hardly worn, eg who needs 15 pairs of shorts. That way you get the buzz of the transaction, parcels etc except the money is coming into your account rather than leaving it.

Omg I too have this problem. I have just bought (hahah more money) a book about a woman who made a promise to herself she would only buy essentials for a yr. So food, petrol, only clothes if she truly needed them. She also declutter her life from materialistic things... I'm going to start reading it and putting it into action. I'm the same as you though. I don't even need to leave the house to spend money. Ebay, Amazon,QVC...the list goes on. Also I'm like you in the way it's the buying that makes me happy I often dont use the stuff I buy when it arrives. Usually nail polish and stuff. Arrghhh I need to get a grip so definitely following this thread with interest

Challenging myself to no spend weeks helped me. I like the challenge.
I wasn’t as bad as you (sorry but it is bad) but was spending more than I had and living in my overdraft.
Writing it all down helped too as it looks awful when you add it all up. I use Fudget app.

Have a good sort out of the clothes that no longer fit or are surplus, then get a calculator and add up the price you paid for all the clothes that have been lightly worn or never worn. Multiply that by a few seasons and then ask yourself...would I rather spend this money on clothing or somewhere else...a trip to Disney, a better car, paying off a debt. Maybe you just love kids clothes and you're happy to buy so many, but if not you need to consciously make the decision with every purchase that you need the item, you're getting value for money and there is nothing else you would prefer to save for.

I started selling stuff instead. I had a massive clear out, realised how much crap we had and started flogging it. I’m now a bit obsessed with making money from selling pretty much anything, even if it’s just a couple of quid it gives me a buzz. I also now can’t stand spending money on unnecessary stuff either as clearing everything out and having a clutter free, tidy home has made me feel free and happy again! It might not be the right way to go about it but it worked for me. I had an appalling spending problem before and ended up in debt.

I would turn your addiction the other way, how to buy stuff on ebay for as little as possible (searching for clothes, filter price to £2 and less) and while you're at it, try and sell your stuff on there too.
I have had some real bargains on ebay for clothes, like 99p for jeans that are new or worn once, good makes too.

Hi,
I think it might help to think about the environmental aspect of consuming and consuming more than you need. Think of it as also going green. Have a process when you want to spend e.g.

1. check if you have got the item you want to shop for or something else that will do (e.g. checking the washing for those shorts). Even if you don't have the item do you NEED it - or only want it?
2. can you get the item second hand cheaply or for free (freecycle/ebay/facebook/charity shops)
3. As others have suggested don't buy straight away - give yourself a cooling off period.

You could decide to sell your excess clothing and belongings and allow yourself to use that money only to buy new things - or to go out for treats/outings.

Whenever you spend money on stuff that you don't need rather than helping your kids you are actually depriving them of the experiences /holidays/ school camps/ driving lessons/ university fund/ house deposit that they could have had!

I agree budgeting is a good idea (at least in the future when you have disposable income again) so you can strike the right balance between buying the stuff you need and other demands such as savings.

Good luck!

Oh, and I also try to end each week on an equal footing. So any non essential spending (days out, Costa coffees etc.) need to have been earned by either selling something we don’t need or use anymore, or by selling something I’ve made (I upcycle and craft stuff to sell online). I actually enjoy my days out more this way as we’re not worrying about our spending. We have to do it this way as our main income only covers the essentials.

This is a brilliant thread, I need to read it again and look at Monzo and YNAB...

ok so you have no disposable income, so can you make a rule that you have to sell some of the clothes you've bought (or return ones with tags) and only use that money for fun stuff?

my friend bought a job lot of jiffy bags and is always sending parcels.

Thanks everyone. We’ve always been lucky that we are quite comfortable financially. Certain not rich, we have a big mortgage and finance on cars but we’ve always had enough that I’ve got needed to worry about £20 here and £30 there. I have a very small amount in savings but I really don’t want to use them so am going to try all the suggestions to make sure I don’t spend anything non-essential between now and January. I’ve also just dropped another day when I return so need to get in good habits as I want the time to spend with the children and don’t want to resort to working more days to fund a silly shopping habit.

I love buying things for my DD from certain brands so I understand where you're coming from.

What I've found has helped me is unsubscribing from the emails from certain companies that are my downfall (Boden, Joules, etc). I also make an effort to go through her wardrobe regularly so I can physically see how many things she has (and therefore that she doesn't need anything new even when I'm telling myself she needs more shorts, vests, etc). If I do feel the need to buy things for her I will try a charity shop first as they often have good names for much cheaper and hardly worn given her age.

One way to cut down on spending is to read a book about salespeople's techniques. Here is a very accessible one.

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B002BD2UUC/ref=ya_aw_dod_pi?psc=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8

It was extremely interesting, but frustrating when I remembered times I had fallen for them.

But now I can spot them a mile off.

I did the same thing with a book about advertising.

Worked brilliantly.

Watching this thread with interest. I've always had a problem spending. Even though I earn a good salary I'm always broke. When I was on mat leave I took the child benefit out in cash every month and that gave me £20 per week for coffee and cake trips. I then did Mum2Mum sales with my little ones clothes to make some extra money and also signed up to Plum. It calculates tiny savings from your current account and moves it to a savings account. £2 here, £7 there. I didn't notice it leaving my account but after 6 months I had about £350 in there that I would have otherwise wasted. I'm off to take a look at Monzo and YNAB...

Unsubscribe from updates and sales emails too - if you're a regular customer that suddenly stops spending, they'll try to reel you back in with 10% off here , 15% there. Good luck.

If you use online banking then it is quite easy to tidy up your account to the nearest £1 or £5 into a savings account. So if your account is £46.23 you could move £1.23 to savings without it being painful.

If you have unworn Boden stuff that still has tags on, you can return it for up to a year.

There are FB groups dedicated to buying and selling preloved Mini Boden and Joules too.

OP,
You describe yourself as comfortable (not having to think about spending £20 or £30) but you could do some serious thinking about what comfortable means to you and if you would like to be more secure.

You sound like while you are comfortable this is actually because you have a decent income as a family but are living fairly month to month - big mortgage, cars on finance, small savings. How comfortable would you be if one of you lost your job and struggled to get another?

My mum uses charity shops all the time, has never had great cars, mostly modest holidays, has gladly accepted gifted furniture when neighbours upgraded theirs over the years (she has a lovely home - not a hovel - and is not in the slightest bit mean - just careful and not flashy. She thinks we are a "disposable" generation and wants to make do and mend).

When we were struggling with housing because we needed to move across the country and had a house in negative equity (because we bought in 2007 before the crash) she was able to buy a house for us to rent cheaply while ours recovers it's value rented out. (She's never inherited anything - all her own hard work). I would be surprised if many people with flashy cars and new showroom furniture could do that.

Perhaps think about the kind of comfortable you want for yours and your kids future.

I am not as frugal or hard working as my mum but she is an inspiration to me.

(Yes my mum does meet landlord responsibilities and do a tax return if it worries anyone)

@SunniDay we are lucky that we are in professions that we could both walk into another job tomorrow if needed.

We do have some larger family savings, but they aren’t to be touched at all and so I can’t use them for day to day living. We put £500 a month away but that comes from my DH salary as he earns a lot more.