We got married 6 weeks ago and I'm still really struggling with how drunk my husband got at the wedding. It's something we discussed before as although he doesn't do it often he has a habit of getting carried away and doing something to upset me so he agreed not to get really drunk and seemed fine with this. He also knows he upsets me when he's like that and we've had multiple times of him apologising but I don't feel he truly gets it as he can never remember what he actually did!
During the night a couple of times I said he shouldn't have any more but with everything going on I didn't see him much until it was time to leave and I then realised he'd clearly continued drinking. The taxi driving nearly refused to take him and he had to stick his head out the window for the whole journey. We then got to the hotel and he couldn't remember how to get to our room (he checked in earlier so I hadn't been). I had to struggle with millions of buttons on my dress whilst he passed out on the bed. What was worse was the way he looked at me when I said I needed him to help, realistically I know it was the effort of the dress that he was thinking of but the look of disgust on his face at helping me won't leave my mind. I know usually everyones too tired after the wedding for much to happen but I was really looking forward to us having a drink in the room and talking about our day especially as we hadn't seen each other much apart from photos.
I also tried to get him away from his friends to talkn to other people but he kept going back, it was also a struggle to get him to say bye to anyone. He also vanished for ages with his friends and missed lots of people leaving.
I've spoken to him but am really struggling to forgive. My worry is that if he can't stick to something which was important for me on our wedding how likely is he to do it another time? Don't think it's helped by the fact he didn't reply to my messages whilst he was on his stag which massively triggered my anxiety which only really went back to normal a couple of days before the wedding.
I spent my wedding night in tears on the sofa in our hotel room. I know he can't change anything but I'm struggling with this being the final memories of our wedding day. Everyone commented on how relaxed I was on the day which was cos I wasn't fussed about most of it (I'd have been just as happy with an evening party), the only thing that mattered to me was us spending the day together and I feel that for him the most important thing was getting drunk with his friends.
Sorry for the long post, I think part of my just needed to get this off my chest!