to think my SIL is over the top with my nephews?

[ItsFunnyYouShouldAsk]

My brother works away a lot abroad and is home probably one week a month. Him and my SIL have two boys, my dear nephews aged 9 and 5.

My SIL is a very enthusiastic mother shall we say, all of her social media accounts are just photos upon photos of my nephews and constant updates about them, in person it is impossible to have a conversation with her about anything other than the boys and at family gatherings if the conversation isn’t about my nephews she will always change the subject so the focus is on them. She also doesn’t allow any of our or her family to look after the boys, or have them overnight or take them on days out.

One thing that I find a bit unsettling is she insists on both the boys sleeping in her bed with her whilst my brother is away. She posts constantly on social media about how they are having “sleepovers in mummys bed” (like she posts this nightly whilst my brother is away) but the boys sleep in their own beds when my brother is home simply because there isn’t room for all of them together in one bed.

So AIBU to think this isn’t normal and SIL needs to stop smothering them? I know it’s not my place to say anything to her and I never would but interested to hear others opinions on this.

Maybe if your dear brother was at home with his family, she would have consistency and support which could facilitate her working and seeking that childcare. If she didn't do what she does your brother couldn't jet off whenever he fancies. She sounds lonely and like she had little in her life other than her children.

I agree with Felix. This is for her benefit not her boys. That said, it's up to her to sort and not really any of your business.

Omg you are definitely being unreasonable
Grow up you silly cow

When my DH is away with work my DC argue whose turn it is to sleep with me as they think I’ll get lonely by myself. The teens have all but stopped now which is sad. DS who is 9 still loves too he’s horrendous to sleep with though I swear he kicks me in the face he wriggles so much but in a few short years there’s no way he’ll want to sleep with Mum

Your nephews will be the same OP.

Sitting here wondering if mothers who dote on their children this much today are tomorrows MILs from hell

I don't think anything you've described is hugely unusual. My dds are 8 and 6 and jump at a chance to sleep with me when dp is away, despite being fine it their beds 99% of the time.

I think she's going to find it a bit hard to let go as they grow up and become teenagers who want independence.

I have a friend who's a bit overbearing like this (even though she's a wonderful mum, she's always been a bit full on with her kids) as I've gotten closer to her she's opened up about a bit of a sad childhood, feeling rejected by her parents who always put themselves and their needs first. I think she's overcompensating for this in her own parenting. Now that they are teens she's really struggling and takes their need to be independent very personally and gets angry at them rejecting her (but it's just normal teenage behaviour, being grumpy and preferring their friends etc.)

I think your SIL may need some support and distraction when this starts to happen and her boys start growing up.