AIBU to worry about DS's reaction when I collect him for nursery?

[NeverNude11]

DS is 13 months and has just started nursery. For background, he was born early and spent a couple of weeks in the SCBU. He then developed silent reflux and was a very unsettled, high needs baby who didn't sleep much. I really struggled in the beginning, I started having panic attacks when we brought him home and then really struggled with the lack of sleep. However, with a lot of support from DH by three months things were settled and I've really enjoyed my maternity leave. I made lots of friends and went to plenty of groups, baby activities etc.

However I am a worrier and I've always worried that I had somehow damaged DS / our bond by finding things so tricky to begin with. Don't get me wrong, I cared for DS and I followed his lead - he hated being put down so I carried him in the sling everywhere and we co slept, we took the bus as he hated the car etc.

So I'm now returning to work and have put DS in nursery for the past 3 days. However when I pick him up instead of looking excited to see me he cries! He immediately wants to be picked up by me, cuddles me and then won't let me put him down so he's not sad to see me exactly. However this reaction has thrown me and I'm worried he's not attached any wise advice or experiences would be appreciated, and sorry for the essay.

Both of mine did this.

And when DS1 was older, he used to run away crying "Not finished yet!".

Both older now, both are lovely securely attached children who really enjoyed nursery.

Remember he is still learning to process emotion. So while we miss them through the day I don't think they particularly miss us, and so when he sees you it is all a bit overwhelming again.

I don’t see my mum as often as I'd like (geography) and I always fill up when I see her on the train platform. I'm 46. It appears I grew out of it and then grew back into it.

It’s just that thing where they hold it all in, then when they see the person they love and trust all the feelings of the day come flowing out, the frustration, the overwhelm.
I’d say it shows a strong bond.

I know we seem to give birth to a t of guilt along with our babies, but remember you don’t need to be a perfect mum getting it right all the time, you just need to be a good enough mum.

I have experience (adoptive parent) of not attached & then I securely attached & as an aunt of two securely attached nephews. My younger (securely attached but higher needs) nephew did this for months at Nursery. My son - never.

Oh, sorry - elder, securely attached, low needs nephew - once or twice.

My DS does this when he's spent time with my own mother, who he sees a few times a week. I'll come back to pick him up, sneak in and he's happy as a clam, but as soon as he sees me he's a puddle on the floor. He's definitely attached to me though so I just shrug and assume he will do great on the stage one day.