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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put DD on an airbed in our room?

50 replies

Fatkins · 17/07/2019 14:39

Very minor disagreement between DH and me.

My sister is staying with us for a week and we have no spare room. DD is 4 and a half and has a lovely big double bed of her own, so initially, we thought we'd give that to my sister and put DD on an airbed on the floor in the same room. We did that for two nights, but, although my sister is being terribly polite about it, I think her sleep is getting disrupted by DD who keeps shuffling around on the air bed, (without waking up). Also, she then wakes up early and badgers dsis to watch cartoons on her phone.

So I have now said that DD has to stay in DH's and my room instead. We did this last night and now DH is complaining that he didn't get a good night's sleep. My feelings are that as we are the hosts, we have to just suck it up and deal with the slight disruption (DD is quite shuffley).

Alternatively, dsis has offered to go on the airbed in the living room, or we could put DD in the living room on the airbed. But I'm not keen on DD being downstairs on her own as we are right at the top of the house.

DD loves the airbed and doesn't want to go back in her normal bed. I think she sleeps better in it though. Maybe I should take dsis up on her offer of taking the airbed in the living room 🤔.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 17/07/2019 14:41

as we are the hosts, we have to just suck it up

Yep. Your DH is being a bit precious. Why should your guest lose sleep? A week is quite a long stay though, maybe just do a few days next time.

Bookworm4 · 17/07/2019 14:43

Why was your DD not in with you from the start? Your DH is an arse.

BlueSkiesLies · 17/07/2019 14:44

I'd rather sleep on the airbed in the living room, then have a 4 year old kid in the room with me!

Original poster
Fatkins · 17/07/2019 14:45

Thanks, that's sort of what I thought, but he has to go to work while dsis is on holiday (here). But she's helping me with the dcs etc and she has a very stressful job (DH does too) when she's working, so it seems unfair to make her lose sleep.

A week is maybe too long. You may be right there.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fatkins · 17/07/2019 14:46

bookworm

DD asked and dsis said it was fine. Obviously we did not think it through.

OP posts:
Daffodil2018 · 17/07/2019 14:47

Could your DH sleep on the air bed in the living room and your DD come in with you?

Jamhandprints · 17/07/2019 14:50

Of course she should sleep with you. Don't tell me she's never slept in your room before? Not on holiday or when poorly? That is unusual,

Original poster
Fatkins · 17/07/2019 14:52

jam

The thing that's actually annoyed me a bit is that she does stay in with us! When DH's parents stay there is no question of her staying anywhere but our room Angry.

OP posts:
Dickensnovel · 17/07/2019 14:53

Your sister has offered to sleep on the airbed in the living room; that seems like the perfect solution!! Let her crack on....

Original poster
Fatkins · 17/07/2019 14:54

daffodil

Sadly not, as DH is too big for the airbed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fatkins · 17/07/2019 14:57

Do you reckon Dickens? DD does sleep better in her own bed, although she won't admit it! Maybe I'll suggest it for tonight and see how it goes.

OP posts:
Coralfish · 17/07/2019 15:04

Your DH is an arse
Thought this was a bit harsh, until I read:
When DH's parents stay there is no question of her staying anywhere but our room
And now I'm afraid I agree:
Your DH is an arse

lyralalala · 17/07/2019 15:08

When DH's parents stay there is no question of her staying anywhere but our room

Your DH is being an arse.

If it’s acceptable for his guests then it’s acceptable for yours

daisypond · 17/07/2019 15:11

DD on air bed in your room. Not on to make your sister share with a four-year-old.

DerelictWreck · 17/07/2019 15:12

The thing that's actually annoyed me a bit is that she does stay in with us! When DH's parents stay there is no question of her staying anywhere but our room angry.

In that case, fuck your DH! How dare he be so hypocritical!

Travis1 · 17/07/2019 15:14

If your DD is in with you when his parents are here then that's what should happen when your family visit. I agree with the others who say your DH is an arse!

Whenisitover · 17/07/2019 15:14

Ooh maybe IABU - I often make my Dsis or Dbro share my DS's (king) beds when they stay
But they are both a lot younger than me and don't ever complain (much)Wink

RockyRolly · 17/07/2019 15:14

OP you need to Express that exact sentiment to your DH "so it's good enough to do for your parents but not for my sister?" Then just a hard stare. Cant see any decent husband arguing with that. dd comes in with you on the air bed. Or you and DD share a bed and your husband can go on the sofa and DSIS stays where she is.

Original poster
Fatkins · 17/07/2019 15:17

In his defence, my sister is being so polite about it that he probably doesn't realise it's actually not on at all!

Dsis said to me earlier that she did get a great night's sleep last night "but that it could just be coincidence" 😂. What she really means is "thank god I'm getting some sleep at last".

DD thinks it's a barrell of laugh of course and staying with us is "boring". Probably because we won't let her get up at the crack of dawn asking for cartoons!

OP posts:
Original poster
Fatkins · 17/07/2019 15:21

He is being arsey though. He was all huffy about being tired this morning, although he did backpedal when I messaged him to see how he was at work - "too busy to feel tired". Or, is that back pedalling? Or making me feel worse? Hmmmm.

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 17/07/2019 15:23

Oh God, leave him to sulk. He'll get over it.

Ask him why it's one rule for his parents and another one for your sister.

Original poster
Fatkins · 17/07/2019 15:25

But he is busy and work is stressing him out this week, which isn't great timing. It's unfortunate that I am the only one without the stressful job who also doesn't mind dd's shuffling! Can't exactly put DH and dsis in together 😂.

Another idea would be to put DD and ds (baby) together. But they'll only wake each other up, which I would find more stressful.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fatkins · 17/07/2019 15:26

Yeah green, I'm tempted to let him sulk. I see my family so rarely. I don't want to drive them away with terrible hosting!

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 17/07/2019 15:26

You're the parents, she stays in your room if she has to move. He's being precious. Did he think he could be a dad without it ever affecting his sleep in any way? Ask him why he thinks your sister should endure it rather than him, the child's dad (or his parents!)

georgialondon · 17/07/2019 15:27

Why can't they share the double bed?